Thoughts on my past

Now this is a section of my website that I have been putting off writing for quite some time now. My thoughts on Magic(k) and the practice of it is fairly complicated, and at this point in my life would take some time to explain. Up till now it has been almost a center point for all my practices and searching, however now longer plays much of a focal point in my spiritual life. As a child all things having to do with Magic intrigued and fascinated me, drawing me light a moth to a very bright and tempting flame.
My first introduction however to real Magic happened when I was 10 years old, and read this book "In Search Of..." by Arthur C. Clarke which included a chapter on Magic. He even included a latin spell of invisibility that had been translated into English. I was so excited to have found REAL magic!!! I probably read that one chapter of that one book a dozen times over as a child.

When I was about 12/13 a shop opened in my town called the Magick Couldron, selling specifically magickal wares, books, etc. From there I purchased a book on Magical Herbalism by Scott Cuttingham, as well as several "amulets" and began to learn about Knot and Candle Magic, the significance of Planetary Alignemnt and the power of Plants. Of course I don't feel that back then any of spells or rituals actually worked, as I was too young and inexperianced to even begin to understand what I was trying to do. It was all very mysterious and wonderful, yet I was grasping at strands of wind.

It was when I began to visit the Library of Knowledge I began to get a feel for and understand energy working. At at time when Spirituality and Wicca held little interest for me, the type of ritual free magic that Tomekeeper introduced through his writing was very attractive to me, as well as many others. Whether it actually changed the effectiveness of my spells however, remains to be seen. My knowledge was extended greatly into many areas, yet I still was looking for something else.

When I was 16 true insight of who I was and what I wanted began to enter my life. I found among the msn chatrooms a bunch of rooms dedicated to giving Readings, talking about Spirits and even Magic. Though at the time my passion of the moment had been Dreams and I wanted to learn much more about them, I quickly became friends with many people there and started to learn how to perform Psychic Readings, develop my Remote Viewing and eventually talk to Spirits. My Life changed dramatically over the next few months. I began to wonder if Magic and Psychic abilities were just two different ways of fascilitating the same energies or willpower to achieve results.Ghosts and divination filled my days, giving me a new purpose to my life. To my great suprise all this was something I had a great affinity for and excelled at - for the first time in my life, I had found something I was truely good at, to the point when I was surpassing others around me. I felt I had found my calling.
This is not all glory and glamourous though - far from it. I found myself at a point when I did not know where else to go. I had gathered all the wisdom or knowledge I could make use of from those I called friends, and performed feats others did not even seem to contemplate. I had no one to call teacher, no one left to help guide me from this point on - I felt very much alone and in deep water.

Years have passed since then, and it has been a very long and often difficult and confusing journey. However, it was not untill I began my training into Reiki that I learned the true wisdom I had longed for. As my Master/Sensei puts it, the difference between "Spirit" and "spirituality". I was taught to trust in certains laws, such as "Energy follows thought" so what you expect to happen, often will. I became much more sensitive to energy, and just how you could manipulate it. I also probably gained the necasary grounding and centering that was required, as up untill then I had been a very unbalanced person with scattered energy. Intuition became my greatest gift, and I was finally ready to pursue the journey into my past and what "Otherkin" truely meant for me.

Magical Practices

I have no intention here of enclosing exactly how to perform magic, as it is no longer something I place much importance or interest in. I have strong belief in the fact that it works, as I have been both witness and fascilitator of it. However, because you can do something, does not always mean that you should. For many wiccans, it is simply a part of their daily spiritual practice, but not everyone treats it that way and without that intention of Spirituality to guide it I have often felt that Magic becomes devalued and cheapened.

Not all may agree with me on this and they must of course do as their own heart and mind dictates, for my path is not the same paths others must tread. To me personally, Magic is a way for the practitioner to extend their will and dominate the course of events surrounding their own lives. The problem with this? At first, not much. What could be wrong with trying to make your life a little better then it already is? Make things easier, give yourself a little more wealth, a little more love. However my path has lead me to realize the true value of our own destinies - the great plan that will lead us to happiness should we follow it and only it. It may not be the right time for us to recieve a new job, or more money, or a new relationship, and therefor the energy of the Magic works in opposition to the divine plan that has been set out for us. Don't even get me started on the issue of Binding people, as that is something I have done in the past and come to regret - whether you call it the result of Karma or whatever.

I have always felt that Spirit/God wishes nothing else for us to have our dearest dreams and be happy, but it us up to us to clear our paths and make the way ready for these things to happen - not by using Magic to force an event to come into realization. Simply "know" and expect the best to just happen when it is ready and for the highest good, for then all the gifts of Spirit will come to you.

magic is not a tool I would now use unless I intuited that it was the intention of Spirit for me to use it at this time.

All graphics and content are copyright Joel Le Blanc / Geist , 2004 unless otherwise stated.