Talisman9

First I needed to know if Talisman9 was a gathering place for Covenant breakers. I did some research and learned that it wasn't. It might be associated somehow with something the House of Justice called a "campaign of internal opposition," and some of the people involved who withdrew from the Faith said they had been investigated as possible Covenant breakers, but my research convinced me that none of the people involved were Covenant breakers.

Still, I wanted guidance on what to do if I did encounter Covenant breakers in an Internet discussion. I found a compilation on the subject by Counselor Stephen Birkland and studied it carefully. Counselor Birkland again! I had crossed his trail once before in the Gay Baha'i chronicles. I also studied whatever I could find in the Ocean Research Library.

Nur

In my research, trying to learn more about the Talisman9 list, I came across Nur's Web site. I saw that he had withdrawn from the Faith, after learning about what had happened in relation to "A Modest Proposal," an article written for dialogue Magazine in 1988 and never published, about possible remedies for stagnation in the American Baha'i Community. I saw that he had some grievances against some of the Baha'i leadership, but I was moved and touched by something he wrote that I saw as a sign of devotion to the Covenant. I sent him an email asking him about the Talisman9 list. We started corresponding, and eventually became friends. Here are some extracts from his Web pages and from our discussions:

The Writings of Baha'u'llah were what made me a Baha'i. I decided that if these writings were not a revelation from God, then such revelation does not exist. That is still true for me.

It is well for us to remember that Baha'u'llah strongly emphasizes
the necessity for reciting the words of God -- even over and above our obligatory prayers. Giving us this revelation is what He came here to do -- the least we can do is pay it some careful attention.

Again and again 'Abdu'l-Baha' implores us to treat others kindly, to offer help, to cause no grief etc. Pick up any book of his tablets or talks, and it sometimes seems like it scarcely has any other message.

But in the end, I found no place else to go. My heart could not let go of Baha'u'llah-- He is my Beloved in spite of it all, even if it's foolish, even if I'm uncovenantal, even if I'm in exile.

My research began just because I had a real need to understand what had happened. And writing has always been an emotional release for me; it's just that the Internet provided me with an outlet. I used to just write stuff nobody would ever see. It is strange how cyberspace brings that inner world into the outer world. Another element is that a great deal of my frustration during the years I was an enrolled Baha'i was feeling that I had no voice, no power to change things. Now, I still don't have a lot of power to change things, but I do, at least, have a voice that's being heard.

Rahmat

After Nur responded to my questions about the Talisman9 list, I decided to join. Rahmat was the list owner. I was interested in her because I had read something she had written in response to questions about her involvement in the campaign of internal opposition. Soon after I started posting, she welcomed me warmly and introduced me as a person interested in social justice issues. She had found an introduction I had written for another discussion list, and her post included a link to it.

The Talisman9 list

At first I was very alarmed by what I saw being promoted in a few of the discussions. I had dreadful visions of the Baha'i community being hijacked by people with purposes contrary to those of Baha'u'llah, and wondered what I would do if that ever happened. After a while I decided that if that were possible, then it was nothing to fear.

NOTE:  I'm describing some of my feelings at the time, about a few of the discussions. I didn't actually see any discussions about hijacking the Baha'i community.

I read some accounts of people who felt wronged by Baha'i administrators and institutions. I remembered similar incidents from my own experience, and my own involvement in them, and I gradually became aware that in years past I had helped create a nightmare for some of our members. I began considering ways to help put an end to it.

I was there to practice friendship and fellowship, so I tried to resist the temptation to respond to discussions that alarmed me, and looked for discussions that appealed to me. I saw a discussion about houris that interested me, so I responded.

Kalimat

Kalimat responded warmly. I saw in him someone who shared my interest in the mysticism in the writings of Baha'u'llah. Here's part of one of his posts to me:

Yes, I love that prayer too. I've said it a hundred thousands times, hoping that that mysterious thing called "detachment", whatever it is, would graciously visit me in a moment of extraordinary favour and I would find myself completely different from then on. :-) Didn't work for twenty years; then one day not so very long ago I was saying it fervently on the beach and some of the words took me to a new dimension. I felt I had indeed been 'drawn with rapture into the supernal realm'.

Jim, you've got me chatting, I wasn't going to say all that. :-)

I was going to mention about the technique of praying that you describe above. I began experimenting with that a few years back. When I wanted to pray for someone else, I had always beseeched God as if I was [Kalimat], asking God to grant a favour for another. But then, I started learning some stuff about mysticism and realised that in a mystical sense, I am not "other" than a person I love, I am that person - in the sense that they are what I experience of them in me. (As I explained with the houri concept.) So I began praying as if I was that person. I became that person praying for themselves. What a difference! It's so much better and much more powerful. It makes prayer immediate. . . .

Ibn Arabi also says that we are the vehicles by which God talks to himself. That makes prayer immediate too.

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