Your bookmarks take 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

Your eyeglasses have a website burned in on them.

You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search

You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity or phone lines

You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.

You spend half of the trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.

All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net...

Even your night dreams are in HTML

You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com

You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

You start introducing yourself as "Jim at 1-1 Net dot net ca"

Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you have never had heart problems.

You step out of your room and realize your family has moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.

You turn on your intercom when you leave your room so you can here if e-mail arrives.

Your wife drapes a blonde wig over your moniter to remind you of what she looks like.

All of your friends have an @ in their names.

When looking at a pagefull of someone elses links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.

Your pet has it's own homepage

You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and your halfway through Lycos.

You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.

You believe nothing looks sexier than a man in boxer shorts illuminated only by a 17 inch monitor.

You check your mail. It says "no new messages" So you check it again.

You have comandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore.

Your phone bill comes to your door step in a box.

You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.

You don't know what sex 3 of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.

You name your children Eudora, Mozilla, and Dotcom.

You laugh at people with 2400 baud modems.

Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.

You miss more than 5 meals a week downloading the latest games.

You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html

You actually try that 123.elm.street address.

Your virtual girlfriend finds a new sweetheart with a larger bandwidth.

You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Mommy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.

Your friends no longer send you e-mail ....they just log on your IRC channel.

You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built in keyboard and mouse.

Your wife makes a new rule: " The computer can not come to bed"

You are so familar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless.

You get a tatoo that says " This body best viewed with Netscape 3.0 or higher."

You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP...because you never log off.

The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.

You put a pillow case over your laptop so your spouse doesn't see it while you are pretending to catch your breath.

You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace your chair in front of your computer with a toilet.

You forget what year it is.

You start tilting your head sideways to smile :-)

You ask your doctor to implant a gig in your brain.

You begin to wonder how on earth your server provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited"

You turn on your computer and turn off your wife.

Your wife says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.

As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road your first instinct is to search for the back button.