The Catechism of Holy Henry

We believe in One Party, the Labour Party, Creator of the Scottish Parliament, and in the Scottish Labour Party, and its King, Holy Henry. We believe Holy Henry is worthy of worship, in the image of the Party, he who shall lead the people of Scotland forever and ever. Amen.

We believe Dodgy David is not worthy of worship, as he is one of the Tories which creepeth upon the earth.

We pledge to renounce the Conservative Party and all its works, in the name of Holy Henry. Amen.

We believe that the Scottish National Party are not worthy of worship, as they, both Salmon(d) and Sturgeon, are fishes, and also have scary Margo in their ranks.

We believe that John Reid is a bastard and that the Party in all its wisdom and grace, drove him from the Holy Land to Ulster as a punishment for this.

We believe that the Blessed Tony of Westminster is worthy of worship, for it is he who appointed Holy Henry.

We believe that gnomes belong in the garden.

We pledge to have nothing to do with the line of the Handbag, for it is tainted by the big shouldered one.

Our hope is that the Holy Henry shall reign in Scotland forever, world without end.