from Roger H.  9/2003:

 One: Don't miss the boat. Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat. Three: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark. Four: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big. Five: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done. Six: Build your future on high ground. Seven: For safety  sake, travel in pairs. Eight: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs. Nine: When you're stressed, float a while. Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals. Eleven: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.. NOW, wasn't that nice? Pass it along and make someone else smile, too

Thanks to Mary Lou for contributing this!  

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
 "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away."
[Mr. Carlin may have some good advice for our class - you remember him, the comedian - ";The hippy-dippy weatherman" from 1960's TV]
  (by George Carlin)

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is
with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.

THE CLASS OF 2005

Just in case you weren't feeling old enough today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the Faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshman.

Here is this year's list:

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1983.

They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and probably did not know he had ever been shot.

They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.

There has been only one Pope in their lifetime.

They were 10 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember the Cold War.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Tianamen Square means nothing to them.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums.

The statement "You sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.

They have never owned a record player.

They have likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of Pong.

They may have never heard of an 8 track. The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 1 year old.

They have always had an answering machine.

Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black and white TV.

They have always had cable.

There have always been VCRs, but they have no idea what BETA was.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

They don't know what a cloth baby diaper is, or know about the "Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up" commercial. 

Feeling old Yet? There's more:

They were born the year that Walkmen were introduced by Sony.

Roller skating has always meant inline for them.

Michael Jackson has always been white.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They have never seen Larry Bird play.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as W.W.I, W.W.II and the Civil War.

They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from. (The correct answer, by the way, is Ork)

They never heard: "Where's the beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel," or "De plane, de plane!"

They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. was.

Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not bands.

There has always been MTV.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Do you feel old yet? 

from an email from Mary Lou...

THIS IS THE WAY IT WAS IN THE "OLDEN" DAYS!

Were you a kid in the Fifties or earlier? Everybody makes fun of our

childhood!

Comedians joke. Grand kids snicker. Twenty-something's shudder and say

"Eeeew!" But was our childhood really all that bad?

Judge for yourself:

In 1953 The US population was less than 150 million...

Yet you knew more people then, and knew them better...

And that was good.

The average annual salary was under $3,000...

Yet our parents could put some of it away for a rainy day and

still live a decent life...

And that was good.

A loaf of bread cost about 15 cents...

But it was safe for a five-year-old to skate to the store and

buy one...

And that was good.

Prime-Time meant I Love Lucy, Ozzie and Harriet, Gunsmoke and

Lassie...

So nobody ever heard of ratings or filters...

And that was good.

We didn't have air-conditioning...

So the windows stayed up and half a dozen mothers ran outside

when you fell off your bike...

And that was good.

Your teacher was either Miss Matthews or Mrs. Logan or Mr. Adkins...

But not Ms Becky or Mr. Dan...

And that was good.

The only hazardous material you knew about...

Was a patch of grass burrs around the light pole at the corner...

And that was good.

You loved to climb into a fresh bed...

Because sheets were dried on the clothesline...

And that was good.

People generally lived in the same hometown with their relatives...

So "child care" meant grandparents or aunts and uncles...

And that was good.

Parents were respected and their rules were law....

Children did not talk back.....

And that was good.

TV was in black-and-white...

But all outdoors was in glorious color....

And that was certainly good.

Your Dad knew how to adjust everybody's carburetor...

And the Dad next door knew how to adjust all the TV knobs...

And that was very good.

Your grandma grew snap beans in the back yard...

And chickens behind the garage...

And that was definitely good.

And just when you were about to do something really bad...

Chances were you'd run into your Dad's high school coach...

Or the nosy old lady from up the street...

Or your little sister's piano teacher...

Or somebody from Church...

ALL of whom knew your parents' phone number...

And YOUR first name...

And even THAT was good!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

REMEMBER....

Send this on to someone who can still remember Nancy Drew, The

Hardy Boys, Laurel & Hardy, Abbott & Costello, Sky King, Little Lulu

comics,

Brenda Starr, Howdy Doody and The Peanut Gallery, The Lone Ranger,

The

Shadow Knows, Nellie Belle, Roy and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk, as

well as the sound of a real mower on Saturday morning, and summers

filled with

bike rides, playing in cowboy land, playing hide and seek and

kick-the-can

and Simon Says, baseball games, amateur shows at the local theater

before the

Saturday matinee, bowling and visits to the pool ... and eating

Kool-Aid powder

with sugar, and wax lips and bubble gum cigars.

Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that!

And was it

really that long ago?

-from and email

"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
--Albert Schweitzer

[... so stay healthy and forget about it!]

May we all make it (healthily) to a 100 and a half! 

-from an email:

Lost in the Fifties

This is a fun one - sound too!  Click on it! 

from our classmate - Roger H.

added 3/15/2002

The One Dollar Lesson

A lesson for our citizens in the United States of America . Take out a one-dollar bill and look at it. The one-dollar bill you're looking at first came off the presses in1957 in its present design. This so-called paper money is in fact a cotton and linen blend, with red and blue minute silk fibers running through it.  It is actually material.  We've all washed it without it falling apart.  A special blend of ink is used, the contents we will never know.  It is overprinted with symbols and then it is starched to make it water resistant and pressed to give it that nice crisp look.  If you look on the front of the bill, you will see the United States Treasury Seal.  On the top you will see the scales for the balance-a balanced budget.  In the center you have a carpenter's T-square, a tool used for an even cut. Underneath is the Key to the United States Treasury.  That's all pretty easy to figure out, but what's on the back of that dollar bill is something we should all know.

If you turn the bill over, you will see two circles.  Both circles, together, comprise the Great Seal of the United States.  The First Continental Congress requested that Benjamin Franklin and a group of men come up with a Seal. It took them four years to accomplish this task and another two years to get it approved.  If you look at the left-hand circle, you will see a Pyramid.  Notice the face is lighted and the western side is dark.  This country was just beginning.  We had not begun to explore the West or decided what we could do for the Western Civilization.  The Pyramid is uncapped, again signifying that we were not even close to being finished.  Inside the capstone you have the all-seeing eye, and ancient symbol for divinity.  It was Franklin's belief that one man couldn't do it alone, but a group of men, with the help of God, could do anything.  "IN GOD WE TRUST" is on this currency.  The Latin above the pyramid, ANNUIT COEPTIS, means, "God has favored our undertaking."  The Latin below the pyramid, NOVUS ORDO SECLORUM, means, "a new order has begun."  At the base of the pyramid is the Roman Numeral for 1776.  If you look at the right-hand circle, and check it carefully, you will learn that it's on every National Cemetery in the United States.  It is also on the Parade of Flags Walkway at the Bushnell, Florida National Cemetery and is the centerpiece of most heroes' monuments.  Slightly modified, it is the seal of the President of the United States and it is always visible whenever he speaks, yet few know what the symbols mean.  

The Bald Eagle was selected as a symbol for victory for two reasons: First, he is not afraid of a storm.  He's strong and he's smart enough to soar above it.  Secondly, he wears no material crown.  We had just broken from the King of England.  Also, notice the shield is unsupported.  This country can now stand on its own.  At the top of that shield you have a white bar signifying congress, a unifying factor.   We were coming together as one nation.  In the Eagle's beak you will read, "E PLURIBUS UNUM", meaning "one nation from many people."  Above the Eagle you have thirteen stars representing the thirteen original colonies, and any clouds of misunderstanding rolling away.  Again, we were coming together as one.  Notice what the Eagle holds in his talons.  He holds an olive branch and arrows. This country wants peace, but we will never be afraid to fight to preserve peace.  The Eagle always wants to face the olive branch, but in time of war, his gaze turns toward the arrows. 

They say that the number 13 is an unlucky number.  This is almost a worldwide belief.  You will usually never see a room numbered 13, or any hotels or motels with a 13th floor.  But, think about this: 13 original colonies, 13 signers of the Declaration of Independence, 13 stripes on our flag, 13 steps on the Pyramid, 13 letters in the Latin above, 13 letters in "E PLURIBUS UNUM", 13 stars above the Eagle, 13 plumes of feathers on each span of the Eagle's wing, 13 bars on that shield, 13 leaves on the olive branch, 13 fruits and if you look closely, 13 arrows.  

Many children don't know this and many history teachers don't know this.  Too may veterans have given up too much to ever let the meaning fade.  Many veterans remember coming home to an America that didn't care. Too many veterans never came home at all.  

Tell everyone what is on the back of the one dollar bill and what it stands for.

... from an email.

Added 12/15/2001

Added 12/8/2001:

From a sign in Guntersville, Alabama

JOHN GUNTER 
Founder of Guntersville.
He and his wife Catherine
Daughter of
A Cherokee Indian Chief,
were the 
Great-Grand Parents of
WILL ROGERS
Beloved American Humorist

The Wisdom of Will Rogers

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from
bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now
and then to make sure it's still there.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try
orderin' somebody else's dog around.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started
roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him...The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put
it back in your pocket.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

from our classmate - Ed H.

WHAT MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME

* My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

* My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

* My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

* My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

* My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

* My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry about."

* My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

* My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

* My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is gone."

* My mother taught me about WEATHER. "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

* My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS. "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

* My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

* My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

* My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

* My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

From our classmate - M

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one
day, so I never have to live without you."'
--- Winnie the Pooh

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known
until it be lost."
---Charles Caleb Colton

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks
out."

"Friendship is one mind in two bodies."
---Mencius

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."

"If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend."
---Stone Temple Pilots

"I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay."
---Dave Matthew's band

"If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with
them,  I'd be at the bottom to catch them"

"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."

"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere"
--- Tim McGraw

"My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life."
---Lee Iacocca

"Hold a true friend with both your hands."
---Nigerian Proverb

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
---unknown

From our classmate -  Margaret Ann G.

"to places you may have long forgotten" 

Close your eyes.....And go back in time.... Before the Internet or the
MAC, Before semiautomatics and crack....... Before SEGA or Super Nintendo...
Way back........

I'm talkin' bout hide and go seek at dusk. Sittin' on the porch, Hot
breadand butter. The Good Humor man, Red light, Green light. Chocolate milk,
Lunch tickets, Penny candy in a brown paper bag.

Playin' Pinball in the corner store. Hopscotch, butterscotch, doubledutch
Jacks, kickball, dodgeball. Mother May I? Hula Hoops and Sunflower Seeds, Red Rover and Roly Poly Jolly Ranchers, Banana Splits Wax Lips, and Mustaches. Running through the sprinkler. The smell of the sun and lickin' salty lips....

Wait......

Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons, Fat Albert, Road Runner, He-Man, The
Three Stooges, and Bugs, Or back further, listening to Superman on the 
radio.

Catchin' lightening bugs in a jar, Playin sling shot. When around the
corner seemed far away, And going downtown seemed like going somewhere.

Bedtime, Climbing trees, An ice cream cone on a warm summer 
night. Chocolate or vanilla or strawberry or maybe butter pecan. A lemon coke or cherry coke from the fountain at the corner drug store. A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers. Cops and robbers, Cowboys and Indians, 

Sittin on the curb,

Jumpin down the steps, Jumpin on the bed, Pillow fights. Running till
you were out of breath. Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt. Being
tired from playin'.... Remember that? I ain't finished just yet...

Remember when... Eating Kool-aid powder with sugar.. When there were two types of sneakers for girls and boys (Keds & PF
Flyers) and the only time you wore them at school, was for "gym." When
it took five minutes for the TV to warm up, if you even had one. When nearly
everyone's Mom was at home when the kids got there. When nobody owned a
purebred dog. When a quarter was a decent allowance, and another quarter a
miracle.

When milk went up one cent and everyone talked about it for weeks? When
you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny. When girls neither dated nor
kissed until late high school, if then. When your Mom wore nylons that came
in two pieces. When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female
teachers had their hair done, everyday. When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, for free, every time. And, you
didn't pay for air. And, you got trading stamps to boot! When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box. 

When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry
groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it. When it was
considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with
your parents. When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed 
..and did!

When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate
that awaited a misbehaving student at home. Basically, we were in fear for
our lives but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. 
Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat.

Didn't that feel good.. just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that!

A Double Dog Dare!

The perfect age is somewhere between old enough to know better and young enough not to care.

 How many do you remember?

1. Candy cigarettes

2. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside.

3. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles.

4. Coffee shops with tableside juke boxes

5. Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum

6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles, with cardboard stoppers

7. Party lines

8. Sen-sen

8. Newsreels before the movie

9. P. F. Flyers

10. Butch wax

11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix ... (Drexel-5505)

12. Peashooters

13. Howdy Doody

14. 45 RPM Records

15. Green Stamps

16. Hi-fi's

17. Metal ice cube trays with levers

18. Mimeograph paper

19. Blue flash bulbs

20. Beanie and Cecil

21. Roller skate keys

22. Cork pop guns

23. Drive-ins

24. Studebakers

25. Wash tub wringers

26. The Fuller Brush man

27. Reel-to-reel tape recorders

28. Tinkertoys

29. The Erector Set

30. The Fort Apache Playset

31. Lincoln Logs

32. 15¢ McDonald hamburgers

33. 5 cent packs of baseball cards...with that awful pink slab of bubblegum

34. Penny candy

35. 35 cent-a-gallon gasoline

36 Wax mustaches and lips

37 Wax bottles that contained sweetened colored water

38 Candy dots on wax paper

Or a time when...

* Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."

* Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming "do over!"

* "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

* Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.

* It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.

* The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties".

* Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot.

* A foot of snow was a dream come true.

* Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action figures.

* "Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense.

* Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles.

* The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.

* War was a card game.

* Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.

* Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.

* Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.

Quotes From a Rear Bumper

1. Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

2. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

3. Where there's a will ... I want to be on it.

4. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

5. Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

6. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies out of the trunk.

7. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

8. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

9. Be nice to your kids. They will pick out your nursing home.

10. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Gripes from the Year 1959

(1) "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are,  it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20."

(2) "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long when $5000 will only buy a used one."

(3) "If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."

(4) "Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"

(5) "If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."

(6) "When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 40 cents a gallon."

(7) "Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts are ridiculous looking. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as girls."

(8) "Also, their music drives me wild. This 'Rock Around The Clock' thing is nothing but racket."

(9) "I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying 'damn' in 'Gone With The Wind,' it seems every movie has a 'hell' or a 'damn' in it. What's next I ask you?"

(10) "Soon you won't be able to buy a good 10 cent cigar."

(11) "Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president."

(12) "Do you suppose television will ever reach our part of the country?"

(13) "I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."

 (14) "I'll tell you one thing. If my kid ever talks back to me, they won't be able to sit down for a week."

(15) "Did you know the new church in town is allowing women to wear slacks to their service?"

(16) "The drive-in restaurant is convenient in bad weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on."

(17) "There is no sense in going to Ohio anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel."

(18) "No one can afford to be sick any more, $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood."

(19) "If they raise the price of coffee to 15 cents, I'll just have to drink mine at home."

(20) "If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it. I'll have my wife learn to cut hair."

(21) "Did you know that our baby sitter informed us she wants 50 cents an hour? Kids think money grows on trees."

Children Children 

-from the Internet...

You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.
 
Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the driveway before it has stopped snowing.

There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it," -Chinese Proverb.
 
Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child ...she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

We childproofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home

Life's Little Imponderables

Just for fun, see if you can justify the following:  

(From the Internet,  Life Little Mysteries, by Robert Corning)

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink

[Return to the home page]