A whopping 
people have
experienced the world of Phronk.
Welcome to Phronk Land! If you've never been here before, you're probably asking yourself (or anyone near you) "What the heck is this?", or, if you're a bit more vulgar, "What the hell is this?". In extreme cases, you might even be using a certain word that begins with F and ends in UCK in the place of heck. In any case, you need an explanation. Well, the best place to start would probably be the Phronk FAQ. After you've read that, you're probably bored and want to know how to get the most out of this page in as little time as possible. Well, the most critically acclaimed section of the page is Phronk's Internet Adventures, so if you only want to read one thing here, read that. If you've seen that and still want more (for some reason), the toolbar to your left or above this paragraph provides you with an easy and fun way to navigate the site. Thanks for visiting. I hope you enjoy your stay here, because if you don't, I will kill you.
To contact me, simply send mail to phronk@hotmail.com, or phronk@phronk.com. Please email me. Don't be intimidated by the incredible quality of this homepage, I like getting email. Replying can be fun sometimes too. So mail me. I'm lonely. Please?
If you use a Hotmail email address, you probably know how much junk mail you can get every day. Usually it's pretty obvious what's junk mail and what's real mail just by the subject line. If it says "TIGHT 18 YEAR OLD MIDGET SLUTS WITH HORSES!" then it's obviously junk mail (unless you're into that sort of thing). However, today, the junk mail people actually fooled me into opening one of them. Here it is:
Subject: Rape
Rape? That doesn't sound like junk mail. It doesn't sound like any normal mail I get either, but I was intrigued, so I clicked it.
Don't be raped by high interest rates!
http://www.bulkemailsite.com:81/birthdaybill/
Dude! Now that is just sick. Using the concept of rape to sell something...geez. Who's going to click on your link after reading that? Especially when the address is at "bulkemailsite.com", and from a guy named "birthdaybill". I'm too scared to click on it and see what's there...I'm afraid it's actually Birthday Bill's gallery of people he's killed and eaten. If you're braver than me, go nuts.
Current Best Song Ever: Norwegian Wood (The Bird Has Flown) by The Beatles.
So I saw Blade 2 tonight. That's right, I got to see it a whole day before everybody else, because I am God. It was an excellent movie. If you liked the dance club scene in the first Blade, this is basically two hours of that, and with wrestling moves. Wrestling moves! Who does that?
Current Best Song Ever: Anything by The Doors ("Anything" isn't the name of a song, I just mean that all of their songs are good. Idiot.)
OK, I've said what my favourite movies were last year, so now I feel obligated to mention my favourite albums. I can't pick one that was a clear winner, so I'll just list a few of the best, in no particular order.
Radiohead - Amnesiac: So it was basically a sequel to Kid A...but more of an Empire Strikes Back kind of sequel than a Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge. I just don't see how they can possibly top themselves now, and I'm hoping they don't make it a trilogy.
Gorillaz (s/t): Who knew that cartoons could make such wonderful music?
Garbage - Beautiful Garbage: A lot of people didn't like this, but I just adored it. It just sounds so...pink. I like pink.
Marilyn Manson - Holy Wood...: Woo! Still my favourite band, despite the fact that I don't wear black makeup and attempt suicide every day (although I am reading the Satanist Bible, and that's some interesting stuff). Now where's that friggin movie he promised us??
The Tea Party - The Interzone Kantras, & Our Lady Peace - Spiritual Machines: I put these two together because they're both Canadian, and I saw them both live last year, and they both kick so much ass that it hurts. Ouch.
Other good stuff: Bjork (Vespertine), Moulin Rouge Soundtrack, Rob Zombie (The Sinister Urge), Tool (Lateralus), Aphex Twin (drukqs), N Sync (Celebrity) (come on, at least they're better than the Backstreet Boys), Kylie Minogue (Fever), Lords of Acid (Farstucker - also the winner of "best album title of the year") and a shitload of others that I just can't remember right now.
New Thing!
All this talk of music gave me a good idea (well, it's not my idea...I've seen it on other blog web sites). Every time I update this thing, I'll include a "Best song ever", which is basically the song I currently think is the best ever. Of course, this changes from moment to moment. Usually it will be the song that's currently stuck in my head, or the song I most recently heard. My opinion on what's the best ever is easily changed.
Current Best Song Ever: Cherry Lips by Garbage
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Fine Print: Do
not take anything here seriously. If you're offended or feel threatened, either
mentally or physically, then leave. That's why they call this "interactive". If
you are confused by parts of the page that seem to make no sense, try different
stuff and maybe it will come into focus; anything you do has to do
something. If you see big lines across this page, you don't see animated
gifs, or you don't hear music where you think you should, you may have a common
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display these symptoms, do not be alarmed; THERE IS A CURE! Simply take a dosage
of Internet Explorer 4.0 or higher and
you should be cured. If problems persist, contact me. All spelling mistakes are intentionel.
