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Overview
Star Trek: Songs
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Star Trek: Stories
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This site is created by Ivan Choe. |
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Joke Collection #1
It's a Trek World
(sung to the tune of It's a Small World)
It's a world of Tribbles, a world of cheer
It's a world of wakos with pointed ears,
Punch a Klingon for fun,
Set youir phaser on stun,
It's a Trek world after all!
(chorus)
It's a Trek world after all!
Young and old fen heed the call!
Most with stories, some quite tall!
It's a Trek, Trek world!
It's a world at warp speed, a world of stars
Drinking saur'yan brandy in sleazy bars.
Captian Kirk gets around,
keeps two feed off the ground!
It's a Trek world after all!
(chorus)
It's a world of gangsters, a world of cats,
It's a world where "boogers" can fly like bats!
Hippies sing in the hall,
watch the crew blow up Vall,
It's a Trek world after all!
(chorus)
It's a world of logical, a cast gone grey,
though they fight for peace in the Starfleet way.
"It's a world just for me,"
says Gene Rodd-en-ber-ee!
"It's just my world after all"
(chorus)
It's a world of androids who can't say no.
It's a world of doctors who come and go.
We have Wesley, the brain,
and an empath (in pain) --
It's a Trek world after all!
(chorus)
It's a world of captians with little hair,
It's a world of worms hiding who knows where.
Number One in Lame!
Super Wes saves the day!
It's a Trek world after all!
(chorus)
T'was the night Before Christmas
(Star Trek: The Next Generation Style!!)
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ship
Not a circut was buzzing, not one microchip;
The phaser were hung in the armory securely,
In hopes that no alien would get up that early.
the crewmen were nestled all snug in their bunks
(Except for the few who were partying drunks);
And Picard in his nightshirt, and Bev in her lace,
Had just settled down for a neat face to face......
When out in the hall there arose such a racket,
That we leapt from our beds, donning panst and jacket.
Away to the lifts we all shot like a gun,
Leapt into the cars and yelled loudly, "Deck One!"
the bridge red-alert lights, which flashed through the din,
Gave a lustre of Hades to objects within.
When, what on the viewscreen, our eyes should behold,
But a weird kind of sleigh, and some guy who looked old.
Buth the glint in his eye was so strange and askew
That we knew in a moment it had to be Q.
His sleigh grew much larger as closer he came.
then he zaped on the bridge and adressed us by name:
"It's Riker, It's Data, It"s Worf and Jean-Luc!"
"It's Geordi, and Wesley the genetic fluke!"
"To the top of the bridge, to the top of the hall!
Now float away! Float away! Float away all!"
As leaves in the autumn are whisked off the street,
So the floor of the bridge came away from our feet,
And up to the ceiling, our bodies they flew,
As the captain called out, "What the hell is this, Q?!"
The prankster just laughed and expanded his grin,
And, snappin his fingers, he vanished again!
As we took in our plight, and were looking around,
the spell was removed, and we crashed to the ground.
Then Q, dressed in fur from his head to his toe,
Appeared once again, to continue the show.
"That's enough!" cried the captain, "You'll stop this at once!"
And Riker said, "Worf, take aim at this dunce!"
"I'm deeply offended, Jean-Luc", replied Q.
"I just wanted to celebrate Christmas with you!"
As we scoffed at his words, he produced a large sack.
He dumped out the contents and took a step back.
"I've brought gifts," he said, "just to show I'm sincere.
There's something delightful for everyone here."
He sat on the floor, and dug into his pile,
And handed out gifts with his most charming smile.
"For Counselor Troi, there's no need to explain.
Here's Tylenol-Beta for all of your pain.
For Worf I've some mints, as his breath's not to great
And for Geordi LaForge, an infaltable date."
"For Wesley, some hormones, and Clearasil-plus;
For Data, a joke book, for Riker a truss.
For Beverly Crusher, there's sleek lingerie,
For Jean-Luc, the thrill of seeing her that way."
And he sprang to his feet with that grin on his face,
And clapping his hands, disappeared into space.
But we heard him exclaim as he dwindled from sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good flight!"
Sung to the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel)
Jean Luc,
Geordi's Specs,
Mysteries on the Holodecks
Asteroids,
Triple Droids,
Telepathic Betazoids
Transporter
Deadly Claw
Visitor from LA Law
Photons,
No Kirk,
Captain has gone berzerk
Shuttlecraft,
Counselor Troi,
Doctor Crusher's little boy
Klingon Rites,
Parasites,
New Heights,
Phaser Fights,
Data's Head,
Tasha's Dead,
Riker's Hangin' by a thread
Celebration,
Transformation,
Everyone to battle stations
We didn't start the series,
It's the Next Generation
on your favorite station
We didn't start the series,
But when we are gone it will
still be on and on and on...
We didn't start the series...
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