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Joke Collection #3
Kahn (kah-n): Used to express ultimate frustration at a
situation. Stolen from the Star Trek series. (Also used with
great hilarity in a "Seinfeld" episode.) *Must* be yelled at
the sky, with clenched fists, ala Captain Kirk.
Example usage:
It's two minutes before you have to catch the bus. The
printer is jammed. You clear it out, then close it up. It
prints, but you had put the stationery in backwards, thus
rendering your print job completely useless. You hear your
bus go by.
"KAAAAAHHHHHHN!"
Top 10 Best (Worst) Ways to Kill Wesley Crusher
From: RAINYBOW
1.After slugging down six Shirley Temple's in 10-forward, Wes stumbles to
the holodeck, which he commands to "take me to hell." His broken body is
later found on the empty holodeck in a pool of vomit.
2.Wesley gets gang-banged by a group of female Klingons.
3.Riker gets carried away executing an order from Piccard to "knock the
little snot around a bit."
4.Data catches him jacking off. Uncomprehending, he requires a detailed
explanation from Wesley, who dies of embarrassment.
5.Extensive lab analysis of a green slime found on one of the control
panels uncovers the fact that our favorite ensign has, once again, been
picking his nose. He is summarily fired and commits suicide.
6.Wes gets gang-banged by a group of male Klingons.
7.On an earlier episode, Wes got to kiss a girl who turned
into a Chewbacca-like creature. Here, she returns, and they once again
get
involved. (Un)fortunately, once she gets really heated, she mutates back
into a wookie and forces Wesley to be her cringing sex slave. She then
tears him limb from limb and eats him.
8.In a rare episode involving characters from both ST and ST:TNG, Spock
attempts a Vulcan mind-meld with Wesley. ...Wesley's head explodes. Spock
barely survives, spending the next several days scratching himself and
whining.
9.Worf notices a Romulan ship on the scanners, and sends Wesley down to
clean out the photon tubes....Later, someone makes a comment about the
needs of the many having outweighed the needs of the few.
10.Wes gets involved in a deviant sexual practice known as "tribble
stuffing," not realizing that tribbles multiply _anywhere_. Even an
emergency laser enema by Dr. Crusher fails to save him.
This just in.....
Spock vs. Tyson bout hastily cancelled.
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