Genealogy at Heartland Helpline

An Embarrassment or Poor Choices

How's that family researching coming? Oh no - you found an ancestor that seems to have gotten themselves into some trouble. So how do you handle news like this? Do you become embarrassed? Do you decide that maybe family research isn't such a good idea? Or maybe you are looking for ways to "disinherit" that ancestor or pretend they didn't exist? I recently came across two ancestors like this.

It appears my gr-gr-grandfather was not a faithful husband. He had an affair and married the woman, while still married to my gr-gr-grandmother. He got caught. He was indicted in criminal court and apparently convicted. A couple of days ago, I was at the courthouse seeking the case files on these convinctions. Embarrasingly enough, the lady wanted to know what the indictments were. So I told her what the indictments were with about four other pairs of ears listening. I was embarrassed at first; then I thought why should I be embarrassed. I didn't do this. My gr-gr-grandfather made some poor decisions and he got caught. That's not a reflection on me!

My gr-gr-gr-grandfather was a borrowing kind of guy. Seems he could borrow or take out mortgages against his farm but conveniently forgot to pay the promissory notes in a timely fashion. So he was hauled to court six times in a three year period. Hmmm - guess he made some poor choices too!

I talked to my aunt recently about my gr-gr-grandfather because I wasn't sure how to keep this kind of news in proper perspective while researching my family. In addition to reminding me these were poor choices on his part and this was not a reflection on me, but this showed our human side of making errors. She also reminded me how he "lost" his family (wife, children, parents, siblings), he ended up hurting himself the most.

So when you come across some embarrassing stories about your ancestors, first see if it is really true. If it is, keep the story in perspective. This is a reflection of poor choices on the ancestor's part - not you.

DaraSue's Quick Tip:
No matter who the "embarrassing ancestor" is, they are still your ancestors; in other words "FAMILY".