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The problem page with Dr Goebelles Former chief nazi party member Dr Goebelles secretly escaped to the quiet suburb of Hitchin in Hartfordshire where he took up local GP practice. He has now agreed to write a column dealing with all of your emotional problems exclusively for IAPWOS. Dear Dr Goebelles, My name is Steve and I have a problem. I find myself in love with my ass. Everywhere I go I have to caress it and this causes many embarrassing situations. Sometimes I feel so alone and my ass seems my only friend . please help Steve Dear Steve, You are clearly a lunatic. Any man who displays this kind of strange behavior should be shot immediately. Alas since we lost the war and now live in a “democracy” I fear this is illegal. However I could probably destroy your diseased brain through dangerous drugs, pop down to my surgery for a dose. Dr g Dear Dr goebelles My wife wants to use a vibrator to puncture my delicate ring piece. Should I agree? Anon Dear anon What is wrong with this society!? In the glory days your wife would be beaten to death with her filthy instrument of evil. I suggest locking her in the fridge for a day then beating her senseless, finally shave of her hair and parade her through the streets open to the humiliation she richly deserves. Dr g Dear Dr goebelles, My wife wants another child but I feel 3 is enough. Should I give in? Dave Dear Dave, We must have a strong workforce for important industry, such as tank building and gas production. Also if we are to build up another army we need your young men so I say more children, your country needs you! Ps what about Adolf as a first name? Dr g. *Disclaimer* The views of Dr g do not necessarily reflect the views of the authors. In many cases the views of the doctor are in fact the complete opposite of what we (Ian & Paul) actually think, we only included them here as a sort of clever irony in order to baffle and bemuse the small minds of nazi sympathisers, the anti defamation league and moaning lefty scum complainers.
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