and above 

 Oh ensemble 60's heist flick remakes, I can never get enough of you.  As long as your script is solid, your soundtrack is catchy, and you help redeem my view of one of your leads, I can guarantee you a special place in my heart.  I am glad to say that "The Italian Job" (2003) starring Mark "Planet of the Apes" Wahlberg, a remake of "The Italian Job" (1969) starring Michael "Planet of the Cider House Rules" Caine, fulfilled all 3 obligations for said special place.  The basic premise is as such.  Thieves Charlie Croker (Mark Wahlberg), Stella Bridger (Charlize Theron), Lyle (Seth Green), Handsome Rob (Jason Statham), and Left Ear (Mos Def) plan to steal gold back from their former friend Steve (Ed Norton), as revenge for his murder of Stella's father John (Donald Sutherland).  How they accomplish this, and all the cool scenes that follow, is what the movie is all about.

 I didn't know what to expect going in.  I had seen the commercials weeks before, and knew the general plot, but wasn't sure how everything would go down, or if the movie could live up to my heightened expectations for its sub-genre.   All the plot twists that had been revealed in the TV commercials had been forgotten, and I think that's why I enjoyed the movie so much.   It wasn't spoiled for me by the TV equivalent of an inconsiderate fellow moviegoer.

 First, I'll talk about the script.  It's very fast-paced, and if you don't pay attention, you may miss some things.  The dialogue crackles at moments, is relatively weak at others, but on average the screenplay is wholly satisfying.  The characters, even those who do not last long in relation to the whole movie, are well-developed and realistic.   While the characters have clearly defined roles in the heist, each character has his or her chance to shine as the comic relief, or the serious hero, or the eager backup, etc.  Some parts, most especially the flashbacks to events in characters' individual pasts, provide not only hilarity but character backgrounds in an effective way.  The plot, as well, is smart and nicely adapted from the original.  As mentioned before, several elements from the 1969 version remain.  I have not myself seen the 1969 version, but I am aware, from IMDB.com, that the ending was one of several plot elements that were changed.

 Secondly, I will briefly rave about the soundtrack.  Much like "Ocean's 11" (2001), this film had a catchy jazz soundtrack backing it up.  I can't express how important a catchy soundtrack is to a movie of this sort.  It can literally make or break my enjoyment of the action.  There are no particularly standout songs from this soundtrack, like in "Ocean's 11", but there needn't be for the soundtrack to provide enjoyment.

 Thirdly, I will talk about the actors.  It is often thought, in ensemble films such as this, that "the movie was only done because a lot of stars' schedules were free".  Well, I'll have you know that Ed Norton only did it due to contractual obligations.  That's right, Mr. Norton was most displeased to be forced to take part in such a movie, thinking that it was below him, apparently.  While I will not comment on how this affects my opinion of Ed Norton, I will say that it didn't seem, while watching him play the role, that he was doing anything to bring the movie down, or otherwise acting below his abilities.  It felt like he was having fun being the bad guy, or at least, not not having fun.  In any case, Mark Wahlberg is the true breakout star for me in this film.  I must say, Mr. Wahlberg had a coolness about him in this flick that was absolutely crucial to the role.  He brought a certain je ne sais quoi that I've never seen him bring in any of his other roles.  He has redeemed himself for "Planet of the Apes" (2001) in my eyes.  I don't hold grudges.for long.  One good flick is enough to turn around my perception of an actor.  So, Mark Wahlberg, you are on my good side, for now.  I'm watchin' you though.  I see you eyeing that "Beneath the Planet of the Apes" sequel script.  Don't think I won't come over there.

 The only other true star besides Marky Mark is Seth Green.  Seth Green plays the perfect cool nerd.  He's endearing while still making sure it is known that he knows computers perhaps better than he knows himself.  His recurring gag, involving the first peer-to-peer file-sharing service Napster, is hilarious every time it is mentioned.  Donald Sutherland also plays his usual super-smooth-yet-internally-complicated role with style, class, and ease, and I wish we could have seen more of him as John Bridger.  However, his demise is the main catalyst for the movie, so his acting is crucial in making us want the good guys to succeed.  This makes his character perhaps even more important than that of  Charlie.

 I will wrap up this rather lengthy review by saying that if you haven't already seen "The Italian Job" (2003) and would like to enjoy it, I recommend waiting to rent it on DVD or VHS so that you can forget the plot twists revealed in the TV commercials.  It is well worth the money you will pay for it.  I will end with a paraphrased sample of the dialogue.

 Finally, a Steven Spielberg movie makes it to 5 Annoyed Monkeys Holding Balls.  He only makes, what, 40 movies a year?  You'd think one of them would have made it before now.  Well, no matter, because this one made it, if only for its catchy, jazzy soundtrack.

 However, John Williams does not deserve all the credit for making this the best "con artist takes the money and runs" flick since "Ocean's Eleven" (2001) (which incidentally, came out last year around this time).  Very (surprisingly) fine acting, combined with an enjoyable (albeit long) screenplay make "Catch Me If You Can" a great flick in general.

 Frank Abignale Jr. (Leonardo DiCaprio) is a 17-year-old with a very wily father (Christopher Walken).  Having learned the tricks of the conning trade early, Frank runs away from home after his parents get a divorce but soon runs out of money.  Then he gets an idea.  He impersonates a pilot and begins forging checks.  He starts small, but then moves onto larger, higher-digit figures.  He solves his financial troubles, however his criminal record has just begun.  Officer Carl Hanratty (Tom Hanks) is hot on his trail.  Can he get away with it?   I highly recommend you see it and find out.

 I am a man who can admit when he is wrong, as proved by my newfound respect for Kirsten Dunst after seeing "The Cat's Meow" (1999).  This movie has given both Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks a "tabula rasa" (It's Latin.  Look up the translation, I dare ya') in my book.  This proves, once again, that even someone's least favorite actors can turn out a good film or two.  Don't get me wrong.  I shall not forget the extreme sappiness of Leonardo's character in the second-half of "Titanic", nor the unbearably convoluted and pointless emotions displayed by Tom in the last 20 minutes of "Castaway".  But basing an actor's worth on one performance is no longer something I will practice. That is my New Year's resolution for 2003.

 Christopher Walken also did a very awesome job in this movie, as always.  I wouldn't expect any less of him.  Martin Sheen also does very well as the father of Frank's eventual love interest, and Jennifer Garner (you may know her from "Alias") plays a hooker with a heart of gold.well.with a heart anyway.
 That's all the interesting people there are in this movie, but believe me, it is enough.

 Even though Spielberg directs, the ending is not a total cop-out.  In a sense, the ending brings a dose of reality back to the movie and at the least, it doesn't feel like a Spielberg ending.  This was surprising because it's a Spielberg flick and that automatically means a fluff ending.  See any post-1990 Spielberg film (not including "Schindler's List") and see for yourself what I'm talking about.

 2001 provided "Ocean's Eleven", 2002 provided "Catch Me If You Can.".  I can only hope 2003 will also provide me with a jazzy heist flick the soundtrack of which I will be obliged to acquire for fear of losing the catchy tunes within.

 In conclusion, with regards to this movie, I highly recommend that you.ahem.catch it if you can.

Premise:
Detective Will Dormer (Al Pacino) is sent to the sleepy town of Nightmute, Alaska to solve the murder case of a 17 year old girl who vanished after leaving a party and was found later wrapped in garbage bags at the city dump.  He meets an officer by the name of Elizabeth Burr (Hillary Swank) who takes him and his partner Hap around town.  We soon find out that Internal Affairs wants to open up an investigation into an old case of Dormer's which would inevitably lead to the criminal going free.  Hap has decided to cut a deal with Internal Affairs, naive to the fact that Dormer will eventually be involved.  This causes an argument between Dormer and Hap.  Later, the murdered girl's bag is found in a cabin, and Dormer decides to set a trap for the murderer at an old cabin near a lake.  Dormer almost has the murderer, but he escapes and the fog is so thick that Dormer can only blindly chase after him.  When he catches a glimpse of a figure moving, he pulls the trigger, but upon closer inspection realizes that he shot Hap by accident.  Hap thinks that Dormer did it on purpose in order to keep him from cutting a deal, and Dormer doesn't know what to think anymore. Instead of confessing, he makes it look like the man he had been chasing was the man who had murdered Hap.

There is a flaw in his plan, however.  It seems that the murderer (Robin Williams.  Yes, I said Robin Williams) saw Dormer kill his partner, and wants to hold it over his head in exchange for Dormer making sure he isn't found out in the case of the murdered girl.  To complicate all this, the unusual absence of night in this Alaskan town (Northern Alaska experiences 6 months of straight day and 6 months of straight night), in addition to the crises swirling in Dormer's mind, make it impossible for Dormer to sleep.  Will Dormer survive this test of mental strength?  What will become of him?  Of the murderer?  I suggest you see it for yourself.

Comments:
I really did enjoy this movie a lot.  Not simply because of Al Pacino, who's good in anything, or Hillary Swank, who I've never seen in a movie before but did pretty well.  It may have been the great concept, or the cool characters, but I think what made this movie for me was a single character.  That single character's name?  Charlie "Bubbles" Nyback.  That's right.  You heard me.  He's the police chief in the sleepy Alaskan town of Nightmute, and his name is Charlie "Bubbles" Nyback.  People just call him "Bubbles" though.  In addition to doing well in the part, the actor who portrays Mr. Bubbles portrays that character named Mr. Bubbles without so much as a smile, and I think that took guts.

Kidding aside, I really like what they did with the concept.  The script, while not being revolutionary in terms of dialogue, does have it's moments.  The dialogue is above par for any average flick.  Robin Williams, someone you wouldn't imagine playing a murderer, is excellent in this film.  He's so conflicted, but not conflicted to the point that he can't convince Dormer to work with him.

Maura Tierney, of Newsradio and ER fame, plays the friendly innkeeper.  I note this because I think Maura Tierney is going places, and I want to make sure everybody knows it.  She's an excellent actress, and although her part isn't huge or even that crucial, she does provide a certain je ne sais quoi to the screen that would have been missing had she not been in the movie.

Overall, I highly recommend this movie if you like Al Pacino, or want to see Robin Williams not dressed in women's clothing.  If you like Al Pacino AND you don't want to see Robin Williams in women's clothing, this is your movie.

Favorite Lines:
Will Dormer: I want to go to his school, pull him out of class, get people talking.  How far away is the school from here.
Ellie Burr: You...want to go..now?
Dormer: Yeah, why not?
Ellie Burr: It's 10:00
Dormer: So?
Fred Duggar (Nicky Katt): At night.  The sun doesn't set for 6 months here.
Dormer: Uh....yeah, I heard about that.

Premise:
It's 10 years since the events in "Phantom Menace".  Queen Padme Amidala is now Senator Padme Amidala, and Anakin Skywalker is now...19 year old Anakin Skywalker.  He's a young Padawan with a big ego and Obi-Wan as his Jedi Master trainer.  When an attempt on Senator Amidala's life almost kills her, the Jedis are commissioned to protect her in the period before the Galactic Senate is to vote on the issue of creating an Army of the Republic to combat the Separatists.  The Jedi Order is quickly wearing thin and the good side of the Force is quickly being taken over by the Dark Side.  Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, a clearly evil politician, is pulling the strings behind the scenes to get that Republican Army.

When a second attempt is thwarted by Obi-Wan and Anakin (involving a night skycar chase through Coruscant, the Republic's breathtaking capital planet), they decide to get to the bottom of the assassination attempts.  Obi-Wan, always trying to keep Anakin's ambition's in check, suggests he simply take Padme back to her home planet and wait the danger out there.  This entire trip is overshadowed by Anakin and Padme's mutual attraction for each other, although they know that any romantic relationship is seemingly impossible.  Meanwhile, Obi-Wan will search for a mysterious planet named Kamino which he suspects holds the key to the assassination attempt.  When he gets there, he discovers that someone has ordered several hundred thousand clones for an army.  Not only that, but the good cloners of Kamino seem to think their client is the Jedi Order.  Back on Coruscant, Yoda is sure he didn't order any 200,000 clones, but then again the Dark Side of the Force has been clouding his mind over the past few months.  In addition, there is an evil former-Jedi named Count Dooku who is heading the Separatist movement.

Anywho, cutting to the chase, Episode 2 deals with Anakin beginning to lean toward the Dark Side, the romance between him and Padme Amidala, and Palpatine's attempt at gaining temporary emergency powers to create a standing Republican army.  In addition, we begin to see the Republic truly fall apart (Thanks to a certain character) and we see the ultimate powerlessness of the Jedi Order, who is a simple peace-keeping organization, not an army all it's own.  Overall, a complicated story, but a necessary one.

Comments:
Firstly, ever since my misguided review of "Planet of the Apes" (2001), I've been very cautious about my movie reviews.  I now try to give myself some time to absorb the material and see if my initial impressions match up with my subsequent opinions.  The problem with "Planet of the Apes" was that I wrote the review upon getting home from the theater, and the eye candy was a bigger factor than the characters, the story, the acting, the dialogue....

:::sigh:::

Anyway, I vowed that I'd give myself some time to think about the movies I reviewed. After almost a week, my initial impressions are only slightly different than my current opinions.  As you know, I have given it 5 Annoyed Monkeys Holding Balls.  I will now give several good reasons for doing so.

Favorite Lines:
Dealer:  You wanna buy some death sticks?
Obi-Wan (using Jedi m ind trick): You do not want to sell me death sticks.
Dealer (under influence of Jedi mind trick.):Oh,  I do not want to sell you death sticks.
Obi-Wan (Same as before): You're going to go home and rethink your life.
Dealer: I am going to go home and rethink my life.
Anakin (In chains, being held captive): We retransmitted the message just as you asked Master, and then we decided to come rescue you.
Obi-Wan (Also in chains): It looks like you're doing a good job so far.

Kamino Cloner: Are you ready to see your clones?
Obi-Wan (A bit confused) : Well....that's....why I'm here.

Obi-Wan (To Anakin): Why do I get the feeling that you're going to be the death of me?

The One Review To Rule Them All
By Indigo Retina

 Chances are, you've either read the books, seen the movie, both, both and own several pieces of merchandise, or are Elijah Wood.  Either way, you know the general story, because even if you aren't one of the above, chances are at least one of your friends is.  So, I'll skim over it really fast.  So, there's this place called Middle Earth.  It's full of all these fantastical beings, like elves, dwarves, hobbits, orcs, balrogs, wizards, and even humans.  A long time ago, this really evil guy named Sauron made a ring that gave him mystical powers.  This ring was The One Ring, and with it he covered Middle Earth with his armies.  However, he was defeated eventually when this guy named Isildor chopped his hand off and took the Ring.  Instead of destroying it, he became drunken with power and kept it.  Eventually, he died and the Ring lay dormant for thousands of years until a creature named Gollum found the Ring. He kept it for many more years, until he lost it to Bilbo Baggins (Ian Holm)  Bilbo kept it for many more years (sensing a pattern here?)  Now, as our story begins, evil has re-emerged.  Sauron's spirit calls for the Ring, and the Ring is desperately trying to get to a payphone.  All kidding aside, the Ring wants to be found by Sauron's underlings, and when it is, Sauron will be able to cover Middle Earth in another age of darkness.  Gandalf the Grey (Ian McKellan), a mighty powerful wizard, is concerned about this, and enlists Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood) to take it out of the Shire-the home of the hobbits-before Sauron's wraiths (yes, wraiths) can get it.  Soon (and by soon, I mean halfway into the movie), it comes to pass that Gandalf realizes that the only way Sauron will not get the Ring is if it is destroyed in the only place it can be unmade-where it was made, Mount Doom, which is deep in Sauron's territory.   A council of Middle Earth's leaders (kinda like the Big Three meetings during WWII, only with more dwarves) creates a Fellowship that will take the Ring to Mount Doom and destroy it.  The Fellowship consists of Gandalf, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Samwise, Borimir, Aragon, Gimli, and Legolas.  Along the way, they face many perils, and many many special effects.

 Despite my somewhat indifferent-sounding plot summary, I really have absolutely no problem with this movie.  Even the length is excusable, given the epic nature of the story and the amount of material Peter Jackson was forced to cut out of it in order to make it bearable in a single sitting.  Is it the perfect movie?  For "Lord of the Rings" fans, it is.  I see no huge, glaring flaws in it at all, and indeed, no tiny, glaring flaws either.  It is faithful to the book, the special effects really do look great, the screenplay is well-adapted from the book, the cast is great, the acting is far above-par.  Let's face it folks, this is the definitive movie trilogy for Lord of the Rings.  No one will ever have to translate the books into cinematic form ever again after the final movie installment.  It would just pale in comparison.  Peter Jackson is a clever bastard for attaching himself to this project.  Albeit, one false move and he will be taken to be un-made by the billions of LOTR fans that exist on this planet, but so far so good.

In any case, if you haven't seen this movie, you are a cinematic idiot and I weep for you.  Albeit, I saw it AFTER "The Two Towers" opened in theaters, but I have an excuse.  Umm.I was dead at the time.

In November, 1924, William Randolph Hearst and several guests set out for a 3-day cruise on his yacht as a birthday celebration that resulted in a still-unsolved covered-up death.  They started from San Pedro, California and ended up in San Diego.  Among the guests were some of the most influential and well-known people in the entertainment industry.  The guests included rising film actress Marion Davies (Kirsten Dunst), the self-absorbed by brilliant Charlie Chaplin (Eddie Izzard), once-powerful studio executive and film pioneer Thomas Ince (Cary Elwes), ambitious gossip columnist Luella Parsons (Jennifer Tilly), and the eccentric British novelist Elmor Glyn (Joanna Lumley).  While Charlie Chaplin tries to win the heart of Marion from Hearst (Edward Herrmann), Ince conspires to merge the Hearst media empire with his film studio holdings.  The rest of the guests watch on as the tension between Hearst and Chaplin builds to a climax.

 It has been a landmark 24 hours for my personal opinions of my least-respected actors and actresses, as displayed by my review of "Catch Me If You Can" (2002) but the one that kicked it all off was Kirsten Dunst's performance as Marion Davies in this movie.  Watching her, I realized she was displaying more emotions than just:

 By God, Kirsten Dunst actually acted in this movie.  When did she learn to do that!?  Since this movie was made pre-"Bring It On", at first I assumed she lost the ability to act after the new millennium began.  There are extenuating circumstances when it comes to Ms. Dunst however.  Her performance in "Spider-Man", I felt, was stale and unimaginative, but I now realize that was through no fault of her own.  She worked with what she was given, which wasn't much, and I can forgive her for any acting misdeeds as they pertain to that movie.  "Bring It On" didn't exactly allow her to spread her proverbial wings acting-wise either, so I will chalk that one up to script problems as well.  Maybe it was the script, maybe it was the director (Peter Bogdanovich), maybe it was the catering on the set, or maybe it was the brilliance of Eddie Izzard that helped her to shine in this movie.  Whatever it was, she played Marion with zeal and enthusiasm, and for that I commend her.  I can admit when I'm wrong, and I was wrong about Kirsten Dunst.  She can act, if only in films where she is being fought over by 2 men, one a Roaring Twenties media mogul and one a brilliant entertainer.

 As for Eddie Izzard, what can I say?  He was.ahem..Glorious.  He is as fine an actor as he is a comedian, and I would go to see him in any movie he was in, regardless of if it were a drama or a comedy.  His portrayal of Charlie Chaplin was brilliant, and every moment of screen time with him in it was a veritable joy.
 
 I've seen Jennifer Tilly in something and I'll be damned if I can remember what it was without going to IMDB.com, but I enjoyed her in "The Cat's Meow" regardless.  She is the long-lost twin of Joey Lauren Adams, and I enjoy her if for that and that alone.

 I highly suggest you rent "The Cat's Meow".  It's intelligent.  It has Eddie Izzard.  I think those two statements are redundant.  Nonetheless, you will enjoy it, I assure you.

Premise:
Royal Tenenbaum (Gene Hackman) is not that great a father.  Back in the 1970s, he not only hated his daughter's first play, but he told her this fact straight out. (She was 11 at the time),   He also shot his son's hand with a BB gun intentionally.  He soon gets divorced from his wife, and begins living in a hotel.  In his absence, all 3 children become prodigies.  Chas (Ben Stiller) becomes a tennis player.  Richie (Luke Wilson) is a banker, and Margot (Gwyneth Paltrow) is a playwright.  17 years after his divorce, Royal is disbarred and kicked out of the hotel room he has lived in for years.  He decides he has to make things right with his family, even if it means faking a terminal disease.  All of the Tenenbaums move back under the same roof (Can you say "A Very Brady Christmas?  That's just what I was thinking during the part of the movie where the children were moving back in), and Royal attempts to make amends, but it is difficult because he was such a bastard to them.  Can he make peace with his family?  Watch and discover for yourself.

Comments:
In true Wes Anderson form, this movie takes the viewer on a visual journey, highlighting hopelessly complicated characters, wonderfully ironic and well-written dialogue, and the best music montages ever put to celluloid.

In other words, this movie is awesome.  It drifts easily through it's plot points, instead of churning along trying to find the next funny situation the characters can get into.  It's effortless, seamless, and contains Ben Stiller, in the apt words of Jackson Brody, ".Not being Ben Stiller".  "Rushmore" provided many a Wes Anderson moment. If it's such moments that you seek, you will not be disappointed, as Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson create yet another bubble of reality that is then filtered through the camera.  The surrealistic approach to life, the universe, and everything that the film takes is in the comfortable territory of "Rushmore"  that has made Wes Anderson so successful.

This isn't one of those ensemble films that are just done because a lot of big-name stars' schedules were free at the same time.  This is an ensemble film that was done because the script, the characters, and the actors who play those characters work very well together.  Gwyneth Paltrow, once the poor man's Cameron Diaz, has now made Cameron her bitch.  Her portayal of Margot Tenenbaum is spectacular, and Ben Stiller's performance far surpasses his acting in "Zoolander" (2001)  Bill Murray is wonderful once again as a Wes Anderson character, and the Wilson Brothers just rock as far as screen presence goes.
 
I cannot help but say that "Royal Tenenbaums" is an excellent film, and not just by regular standards.  By Wes Anderson standards, it is every bit as good as Bottle Rocket.  Can I say that it is as good as "Rushmore" though? That is a tough question, because "Rushmore" is such a different movie than "Royal Tenenbaums."  In the end, I am content to say that "Royal Tenenbaums" is every bit as good as Rushmore, however not better.  Take that, Gene Hackman!  (I kid, of course, that guy is good in anything..)
 
I highly recommend this movie, because not only will you love Pagoda (Kumar!), but you will not be able to get enough of Dudley.
 
Favorite Lines:
Eli: Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn't.

Eli: I'm not in love with you any more.
Margot: I didn't ever know that you were.
Eli: Let's not make this any more difficult than it already is.

Chas: Is it dark?
Richie: Of course it's dark. It's a suicide note.

(Royal motions to Pagoda)
Royal: He saved my life, you know. Thirty years ago. I was knifed at a bar in Calcutta, and he carried me to the hospital on his back.
Ari: Who stabbed you?
(Royal motions to Pagoda again)
Royal: He did. There was a price on my head, and he was a hired assassin. Stuck me in the gut with a shiv.

(Speaking of a patient of Raleigh's named Dudley)
Reporter: Can he tell time?
Raleigh: Oh, lord, no. No.

Royal: I thought I'd start by taking you out to visit your grandmother.
Richie: God, I haven't been out there in years.
Margot: I've never been at all. I was never invited.
Royal: Well she wasn't your real grandmother, and I didn't know how much interest you had. But you're invited now!

Raleigh: Dudley has a rare disease combining symptoms of amnesia, dyslexia and color blindness, with an acute sense of hearing. My research--
Dudley: (from two rooms away) I'm not color blind, am I?
Raleigh: I'm afraid you are.

Premise:
Daniel Ocean (son of Billy?) (George Clooney) is recently out of prison, and he's already looking for trouble.  Does he get back into the business slowly, robbing liquor stores, candy shops, Home Depots?

Hell, no!

He goes right for the jugular, this one does.  He's got the biggest caper ever concieved ready and waiting to be pulled off, and all he needs is a team of guys.  He and his partner (excellently played by Brad Pitt) decide to gather this elite squad of thieves.  Through a series of very well-written sequences, they gather men until their number totals 11, including Danny Ocean.  This group has just become....Ocean's 11.
What's the heist, you ask?  It seems that Danny plans to rob 3 casinos within 1 night.  It's hard enough robbing one, but to get to the collective underground vault of all 3 and get out seems nearly impossible.
 
 It turns out that all 3 casinos are owned by a man named ... Benedict.  Benedict is a meticulous, vengeful, bitter, bitter man who is going to make it even more difficult to get out of the heist without life in prison.

Will I tell you the rest of the story?  How they accomplish their goal?  If they accomplish their goal?

I think not.  Go and see it yourself.  It's worth any amount of money not exceeding $15 a ticket.

Comments:

Wow.  That's all I have to say.  Wow.

Now I have something else to say.  As you may (or may not) recall from Fuv Ma' Poppin's review of the movie, the ensemble cast is highly praised.  I fully agree with Mr. Ma' Poppin.  There isn't one character in the movie that isn't excellently acted.  The comedic timing is far above par in this movie.  It's part caper flick, and part comedy.  I'm glad to say that the 2 genres are capable of being blended without losing much (or even anything) in the blending.  I'm not a big Julia Roberts fan, so I'm glad to say she was not one of the Ocean's 11, because I would have had to see much more of her.  Instead, she played a relatively small but pivotal role as Danny's ex-wife, who is dating/married/seeing (this point was rather unclear, although it seemed to lean toward a flight of fancy) Benedict at the time.  She was...all right I guess. My opinion of her has not changed.

However, my opinion of George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, and Andy Garcia have gone through the roof.  I never really had a problem with George Clooney, but I was ready to take him or leave him. Now he has shown me the extent of his...well...comedic abilities (he serves as more of the catalyst for the action than for the actual action itself, I think), and I thoroughly enjoyed him.

Now, I would like to say a few words about the writing.  My god, it was excellent.  Really.  I mean, sure, there may be some goofs here or there, some bad facts or impossibilities, but I say, if you're going for perfection in the reality sense with a fictional movie, then you might as well do a documentary.  People don't want things to be the way they actually are. Plots aren't overly entertaining if every law of logic or physics is followed.  Sure, I won't deny it, there were some close calls in this movie where, in real life, Ocean's 11 would have become Cellblock D's 11, but that was for suspense.  And I'm glad to say it worked out for the best.  Secondly, writing for 11 main characters (that's only the good guys, mind you.) is not an easy task.  Writing for 11 unconventionally well-thought-out main characters is virtually impossible. Believe me, I speak from experience. The more characters you have, the less character development you can fit into a movie.  However, the writers give us just enough about the characters to make them stand out as individuals.  In the end, you care about how each character fares.  That's the main point here.
 
It was just a cool movie.  Cool as in...cool.  Just something interesting, entertaining, not-too-confusing, but not for morons either.  It didn't play down to you.  There were just some parts in the movie where (and Fuv can testify to this) I just said "Holy shit, that was awesome."
 
And, man, the soundtrack was kick-ass.  Jazzy instrumentals throughout the entire movie = brilliant.  The bit "Claire de Lune" that came off as 1940s emotional crescendo music in the end was a little out of place, albeit.  However, it worked, and served to connect the movie, in a way, back with its Rat Pack movie roots.  That's how I saw it, anyway.

Favorite Lines:
 (Note: I actually took notes, so this could take awhile.)

"I'm gonna drop you like 3rd period French."

Brad Pitt: Tell Riggs I want to see him!
Don Cheadle : Who?
Brad Pitt: Just get him!!
(Confused police officer runs off)

So, after we go down the elevator we can't open, get past the guards with guns, get through the impenetrable vault, we're supposed to just walk out of there with $160 million?
(pause)
....yeah.
(pause)
....oh.

Matt Damon: I was just trying to deliver my balloons!
George Clooney: Oh!  Look at me!  Balloon boy!

"Why do they always paint hallways that color?
They say tope is very soothing."

"I know everything that's going on in my hotels"
"Well, then I should put those towels back."

"Amazing.  You want a magazine or something?"
(middle finger)

(The next 3 lines are part of a scheme to keep Benedict busy.)
Angry black black-jack dealer: You won't let me deal the cards, so what difference does it make?  Might as well call it white-jack!
Matt Damon: We have always supported the hiring of colored....oh crap (runs for cover)
What!!?
(Gets up, runs after him.)

"Cracker!!!"
Matt Damon (cowering): Oh dear god!

George Clooney: There's a 95 lb. Chinese man with $160 milliion dollars behind that door.
(pause)
Matt Damon: Let's get him out of there.
George Clooney: Yeah.

Brad Pitt (on phone with Benedict): In fact, I'm staying in your hotel.  2 words: mini bar.

(George Clooney walks out of prison with a tuxedo on)
Brad Pitt: I hope you were the groom.
(pause)
George Clooney: Ted Nuget called.  He wants his shirt back.

Hey, Vince needs a girl.
There's a girl's prison a few blocks down.

Premise:
Enid (Thora Birch) and Rebecca (Scarlet Johansenn) are two crazy kids.  After they graduate from high school, Enid is forced to take a remedial class in order to graduate completely.  Meanwhile, the 2 girls are planning on moving in together.  Everything seems to be going swimmingly.  They even decide to play a prank on a man who wrote a classifieds ad trying to get in touch with a woman he had a "moment" with at an airport.  They decide to find out more about him by following  him back to his house.

While this may sound weird, it's just an average day in the lives of Enid and Becky.  Soon, however, they meet the man, named Seymour (Steve Buschemi), and find out he is a collector of many things, including records and other antiques.  Over the course of the summer, Enid latches on to Seymour for companionship while Becky gets immersed in her job.  Things start to turn sour when Seymour starts dating the actual woman he met at the airport.  She doesn't like Enid and she shapes Seymour with her womanly wiles.  Problems keep piling up for Enid, overwhelming her. What will happen to Enid and Becky and Seymour and Maxine, and the man with the mullet at the Sidewinder?   Well, see the movie and find out.

Comments:
This movie is based on the underground comic book of the same name.  I loved it.  I loved it because I know Enid and Becky.  OK, well, I know 2 people who have the same characteristics as Enid and Becky.  If these 2 people ever went out and made a movie, this movie would be it.  So, I already have a personal connection with it.  Just to give you a little taste of what Enid and Rebecca are like, I give you the following piece of dialogue.

(At a café)
Rebecca: Hey, the Satanists are leaving.
Enid: We should follow them.
Rebecca: Oh, we totally have to.

Thora Birch (of "American Beauty" fame) is excellent as Enid, a teenager being forced in many different directions at once.  She is capable of dealing with complex and multiple emotions as an actress simultaneously, and will remain a force in Hollywood for years to come, I hope.  I would not mind her replacing Julia Roberts as Hollywood's "It" girl.

Then there's Steve Buschemi, who plays Seymour as I think we all pictured him from the classified ad.  He just plays the role so openly and acting seems to come effortlessly for him.  At least acting in roles where he's a geeky collector who lives with a comical roommate.

The plot is well done.  I haven't read the comic book yet, though I am searching it out.  An update on this review will come when I do read it.  The movie isn't called "Ghost World" for nothing.  There aren't any ghosts in it, at least any human ghosts (well, as far as the spooky floating kind).  The words "Ghost World" are symbolic and important in this story.

I'm leaving out some of my favorite lines from one scene because I want you to go out and rent this movie and find out.  All I have to say to give you a clue is "Doug", and I don't mean the Nicktoon.

Favorite Lines:

Excited Girl: Oh my god guys, I can't believe we made it.
Enid: Yeah, we graduated high school.how totally amazing.

Rebecca: Wow, this is almost so bad it's almost good.
Enid: This is so bad it's gone past good and back to bad again.

Excited Girl: So, what are you guys doing this summer?
Enid: Nothing
Excited Girl: Well, I'm going to this actors workshop, and I'm hoping to start auditions soon.  Oh, we have to get together this summer.
Enid: Yeah.that'll definitely happen.

(A hip-hop group starts rapping in the middle of a graduation ceremony.)
No more education
Time for celebration
'Cuz this is the day of our high school graduation
Now, we'll stay for the duration
Achieve matriculation,
Now we're the newest members of the general population!

(A bespectacled sad-eyed lad walks around the dance eating a piece of cake)
Enid: God, just think, we'll never see Dennis again.
Rebecca: Good.
Enid: No, really, think about that, it's actually totally depressing.

Rebecca: So, what do you do if you're a Satanist anyway?
Enid: Sacrifice virgins and stuff.
Rebecca: Well that lets us off the hook.

Enid (Writing a note on Rebecca's back to their friend Josh): Dear Josh, we came by to fuck you, but you were not home.  Therefore, you are gay.  Signed, Tiffany and Amber.

(A rap song plays on the jukebox at an "authentic 50's diner")
Rebecca: So who can forget this great hit from the 50's, huh?
Enid: I feel as though I've stepped into a time warp.

Rebecca: See that guy over there?
(Enid looks, rolls her eyes)
He gives me a total boner.
Enid: He's like the biggest idiot of all time.
(The guy walks by with some friends.)
Guy: You guys up for some reggae tonight
(Enid gestures towards him and looks at Rebecca in an "I rest my case" fashion)

Enid: I think only stupid people have good relationships.
Seymour: That's the spirit.

(Enid is working at a movie theater, and not taking it seriously)
Movie theater manager: What the hell is wrong with you?
Enid: What?!  I was just joking around with the customers.  It's my shtick!

(Enid tries her hand at getting the customers to upsize.)
Enid: Medium?  My sir, do you not know that for a mere 25 cents more, you could purchase a large beverage.  And you know, I'm only telling you this because we're such good friends.  Medium is really only for suckers who don't know the concept of value. (smiles)

Premise:
Jay and his hetero life-mate Silent Bob are back for their final time as the focus of the flick. It seems that Banky Edwards (Jason Lee) has negotiated a deal with Miramax to make a "Bluntman and Chronic" movie. Being that the characters of "Bluntman and Chronic" are based on Jay and Silent Bob, the two stoners want to know where their royalties check is. After finding out that people they don't even know are bashing them on the new-fangled "internet", they decide to travel to Hollywood to stop the movie's production to save their "good" names. Their travels take them from in front of the Quick-Stop to in front of the Miramax studio lot, where they are chased across several different movie sets in order to find the "Bluntman and Chronic" filming. In the end...well, you should really go to see it and find out.

Comments:
I am proud to say that I was one of the first in the nation to see this movie in theaters. I attended the sneak preview at my local theater. (I knew there was a reason I lived in a major metropolitan area.) I almost did not get in due to the theater's idiotic "underage viewing" policies, regardless of the fact that I am over the legal age for seeing "R" rated films. Apparently, by leaving our birth certificates in our other pants and having no driver's licenses to prove our age, we were not allowed in by a (I may say) uncaring ticket-taker. Luckily, a very hip ticket-taker nearby allowed us entry. To him, I would like to publicly say "Thank you, you rock". If there was one movie I was waiting for this summer, 'twas this one, and this guy, wherever he is, allowed me to fulfill my dream for this summer. To the red-haired girl who denied us entry, I wish to say "I hope you felt good about yourself, but we beat you, and I hope you enjoy picking up people's trash in movie theaters for the rest of the summer at least."

Oh right, I was supposed to talk about the movie.

It was awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome. So awesome, in fact, that I defied my own ratings system to give it 6 Annoyed-Monkeys-Holding-Balls out of 5. This movie is only awesome, however, if you have seen most of Kevin's Smith's prior endeavors into cinema ("Clerks", "Mallrats", "Chasing Amy", "Dogma"). If you have not seen those movies, the movie will be amusing, but much of it will be lost to you. However, why you would see this movie if you weren't a Kevin Smith fan is beyond me. It is a laugh-out-loud movie, to be true. Without a doubt, this is a movie for the fans, and that's the way it ought to be. I plan to see it again, and perhaps a third time.

On to the actors. Jason Mewes was great, as usual. Kevin Smith had some great reaction shots, and even got to speak at some points. The movie needed more Jason Lee (my personal favorite actor), but his scenes were great. George Carlin's cameo was cool, and was the start of a running gag. Mark Hamill's cameo was great. Carrie Fisher as a nun: how can you go wrong? Chris Rock as a bitter director was the part he was born to play. Some will say that it was unnecessary for his part to be in the flick, but I say that when you look at the unnecessary parts of other movies, his part becomes more essential in comparison.

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were great on the set of "Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season" Shannon Doherty was good. I have a new love of any cameos by Jason Biggs and James Van Der Beek.

Ah, hell, the entire cast was great in this flick.

And the "bluntsabre" fight with Mark Hamill was so cool.

Good job, Kevin Smith. Good job.

Favorite Lines:

Jay: Zoinks yo

Jay: Don't you never say an unkind word about the time! Me and Silent Bob fashioned our whole lives around Morris Day and Jerome. I'm a smmooooth pimp who loooves the (expletive deleted) and Tubby here's my black man-servant, WHAT!?

Intern Guy: You're the man, sir.
Chris Rock: No, you're the Man, and that's the problem.

Jay: Damn youse, damn youse all to hell!

Silent Bob: THE SIGN...ON THE BACK OF THE CAR...SAID 'CREATURES OF HOLLYWOOD...YOU DUMB F***!!

Guy in Movie: You're no longer Good....Will Hunting (snicker)

Premise:
Rob (John Cusack) is a thirty-something record-store owner who must face the undeniable facts - he's growing up. He is fanatical aboout mmusic and loves making Top 5 lists (Sound familiar? It should, because I took it from this movie.) He goes through his Top 5 Breakups of all Time, Number 5 being the one he is going through right now. He, along with his assistants Barry (The Esteemed Jack Black of Tenacious D.) and Dick (Todd Louiso), travel through their lives, stopping along the way to make uncanny observations of the intricacies of life, relationships, and pop music. By the end, Rob gets control of things and Jack Black sings.

Comments:
Wow.
 
After reviewing "Monkeybone" (shudder), this movie is more than a pleasure to review. I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. I have a new respect for John Cusack after this movie. He was just the perfect narrator during the entire movie. His observations were perfect. His Top 5s were great. The dialogue was snappy. Jack Black was awesomely hilarious. Tim Robbins plays a great (bleep)ing (bleep)hole and I felt for the main characters.

God, I loved this movie.

People may say it sucked. To those people, I can only shake my head in wonder and walk away. The movie treats you like (A) you know things about pop music and (B) like you are an incredibly philosophical person who will get what Robis saying (which isn't too incredibly hard to understand anyway.) I like being treated like I am not the average American movie-goer. I like being spoken to by a movie, instead of being spoken-down-to by a movie. This movie spoke to me, and for that I simply must give it the highest score possible.

Some things to note: The film was based on the cult book of the same name by Nick Hornby. To Nick Hornby, I give a nod of respect and admiration. I highly suggest you go out and get the book to read it.  I did.

In addition, on a side note, I would love to see a female give her opinions on the wackiness of relationships as Rob has done in this film. However, I believe it would turn into a male-bashing session instead of a witty commentary on society. "Wow, your being really controversial" you say. Well, yes, yes I am. So sue me. It's my opinion and I am sticking to it.

Favorite Lines:

"Do you want me to help you with the sorting? What order are you doing it in? Alphabetical? Chronological?" - Dick
"Autobiographical" - Rob
"No f***ing way." - Dick

"We're no longer called Sonic Death Monkey. We're on the verge of becoming Kathleen Turner Overdrive, but just for tonight, we are Barry Jive and his Uptown Five." - Barry (Jack Black)

"Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting both the Israelies and the Palestinians." - Rob
"No, it's really not, Rob. You know why? Because Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel make pop records." - Laura
"Made! Made! Marvin Gaye was shot by his father!" - Rob

"Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains." - Rob

"I can't fire them. I hired these guys for three days a week and they just started showing up every day. That was four years ago." - Rob

"What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?" - Rob