5 AMHB - Best Movies...Ever

Star Wars: Episode 2: Attack of the Clones (2002)

Premise:
It's 10 years since the events in "Phantom Menace". Queen Padme Amidala is now Senator Padme Amidala, and Anakin Skywalker is now...19 year old Anakin Skywalker. He's a young Padawan with a big ego and Obi-Wan as his Jedi Master trainer. When an attempt on Senator Amidala's life almost kills her, the Jedis are commissioned to protect her in the period before the Galactic Senate is to vote on the issue of creating an Army of the Republic to combat the Separatists. The Jedi Order is quickly wearing thin and the good side of the Force is quickly being taken over by the Dark Side. Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, a clearly evil politician, is pulling the strings behind the scenes to get that Republican Army.

When a second attempt is thwarted by Obi-Wan and Anakin (involving a night skycar chase through Coruscant, the Republic's breathtaking capital planet), they decide to get to the bottom of the assassination attempts. Obi-Wan, always trying to keep Anakin's ambition's in check, suggests he simply take Padme back to her home planet and wait the danger out there. This entire trip is overshadowed by Anakin and Padme's mutual attraction for each other, although they know that any romantic relationship is seemingly impossible. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan will search for a mysterious planet named Kamino which he suspects holds the key to the assassination attempt. When he gets there, he discovers that someone has ordered several hundred thousand clones for an army. Not only that, but the good cloners of Kamino seem to think their client is the Jedi Order. Back on Coruscant, Yoda is sure he didn't order any 200,000 clones, but then again the Dark Side of the Force has been clouding his mind over the past few months. In addition, there is an evil former-Jedi named Count Dooku who is heading the Separatist movement.

Anywho, cutting to the chase, Episode 2 deals with Anakin beginning to lean toward the Dark Side, the romance between him and Padme Amidala, and Palpatine's attempt at gaining temporary emergency powers to create a standing Republican army. In addition, we begin to see the Republic truly fall apart (Thanks to a certain character) and we see the ultimate powerlessness of the Jedi Order, who is a simple peace-keeping organization, not an army all it's own. Overall, a complicated story, but a necessary one.

Comments:
Firstly, ever since my misguided review of "Planet of the Apes" (2001), I've been very cautious about my movie reviews. I now try to give myself some time to absorb the material and see if my initial impressions match up with my subsequent opinions. The problem with "Planet of the Apes" was that I wrote the review upon getting home from the theater, and the eye candy was a bigger factor than the characters, the story, the acting, the dialogue....

:::sigh:::

Anyway, I vowed that I'd give myself some time to think about the movies I reviewed. After almost a week, my initial impressions are only slightly different than my current opinions. As you know, I have given it 5 Annoyed Monkeys Holding Balls. I will now give several good reasons for doing so.

    1) First and foremost, it was 200 times better than "Phantom Menace". One reason for this is that the use of Jar Jar Binks is at a minimum. I have tried to give Jar Jar the benefit of the doubt, but after seeing him in "Episode 2", his voice grating so against my soul that I felt that my spirit would die, I have decided that keeping the Jar Jar/other character ratio to a minimum is the best possible thing George Lucas could have done.
    2) The light saber battles are the best I've seen in a long, long while. If you thought Darth Maul could do some stuff with his double-edged light saber, you haven't seen anything yet. Seriously. Anakin and Count Dooku's fight is amazing. In fact, any light saber battle in the movie is cool. Especially the last one. I won't reveal the details behind it, but I'll just say that everyone's favorite syntax-twisting small-pint isn't called a Jedi Master for nothing.
    3) Although Newt Gunray (the trade federation alien) is in it less than I wanted, because he's a crazy character, the dialogue is mildly good to pretty good in this one. There are some very good exchanges in the film, but overall the dialogue only met expectations. If there is one thing that this movie will not be known for, it is it's crackling dialogue. However, it is made up for by a plethora of other positives.
    4) The visual effects are stunning in this movie. I cannot emphasize to you, the reader, just how much eye candy there is in this film. It's the good kind of eye candy too. A central premise of Star Wars is the introduction of fantastical views into the American optic nerves. In 1977, a barrier was broken with several visual effects that Lucas employed to make an overly spectacular visual movie in the form of "Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope". Now with the advent of digital technology, and the lessons he learned in Episode 1, George Lucas has created possibly the most effects-heavy live action movie in a long time. However, the payoff is huge. You forget during the movie that almost all of the space scenes involve some CGI. In addition, the effects make for some truly exciting concepts. For instance, Obi-Wan's chase of Jengo Fett in the rings of the planet Geonesis. If you have seen it, you know what I'm talking about. That is something that would not have looked as good, or even would not have been possible visually, even a few years ago.
    5) Yoda is the man. OK, so he's not a man technically, but I think Yoda transcends any species distinction.
    6) The backstory, most especially the corruption of the Republic, the imbalance in the Force, and Anakin's power, come to the forefront in this film. I think one of the problems with "Phantom Menace" was that the public could not envision little 9 year old Anakin growing into Darth Vader. In "Episode 2" it is a lot easier to see. Also, the plot develops more and certain things that fans have been wanting to know about for years are finally revealed.
    7) Hayden Christensen does an excellent job as Anakin. I have no clue what the heck the critics are thinking. In fact, I'm pretty sick of some critics and their supposed "knowledge" of what comprises a good movie. I pride myself on my open-mindedness. I gave 4 Annoyed Monkeys Holding Balls to Jurassic Park 3 (2001), for God's sake! However, Ebert doesn't seem to be very open-minded. The following is a dialogue between Ebert and Roeper on their TV program regarding Episode 2.

And it's not just the backdrops and the explosions that are more impressive--it's the non-human characters. The Yoda of "Attack of the Clones" is so expressive and mobile that he makes the old Yoda look like the sock puppet he is.

The cast is also uniformly strong. It's not easy acting opposite robots and blue screens and imaginary Jedi masters, but Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Samuel L. Jackson and Natalie Portman are more than up to the task. I really liked the love story between Christensen and Portman, even though I couldn't quite figure out how he aged more than a decade, while she looked pretty much the same as she did when he was a little boy. But that's a minor quibble, I liked this movie a lot.

Ebert: OK, now we disagree about the visuals, so let's put that to one side, there is not one line in this movie that you can quote with any pleasure. It is the most banal script I have ever read! It's just all about exactly what the plot requires him to say in any given moment. And the love story is just dead in the water.

Ebert: I didn't feel any chemistry between them, and as for the things that they say, those are ancient ancient tired tired romantic cliches from a thousand thousand other movies!

Roeper: Well, this is a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. So maybe they invented these cliches. ...

Roeper: First of all, Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen are great-looking actors, and I think they have a wonderful chemistry together. I like their loves scenes together.

Ebert: ...They just kind of stare at each other while [saying] "I love you, but I mustn't love you." Oh, come on, and then the rest of the dialogue all about what's happened before and what's going to happen next. What's happening in the Empire, what's happening in the Republic.

Roeper: OK, you know what, you go through all five "Star Wars" movies, and there's a lot of that sort of sci-fi Western and outer-space dialogue. It's corny stuff, and there's a lot of fortune-cookie wisdom from Yoda.

Ebert: Yeah, but why can't somebody in this movie have something interesting to say and say it with wit and style and flash? The actors are all dialed down, none of them seem excited enough to be who they are.

1) "There is not one line in this movie that you can quote with any pleasure". I think my Favorite Lines section will make that statement null and void.
2) "And the love story is just dead in the water". Umm, was he watching the same movie? OK, so maybe Amidala and Anakin seemed a little uncomfortable around each other. But, let's think about this one. They haven't seen each other in 10 years. Amidala knows Anakin likes her, and Amidala is most likely Anakin's first real love. (As you remember, Anakin has been in Jedi training for the past 10 years, cut off from friends and family.) When was the last time a girl found out that a guy, who she liked, liked her, and wasn't nervous at all around him? Hey, Ebert, think about this; Anakin is rigid around Amidala because he doesn't know what really to say around her. He's lost because socially he doesn't know what to do. He hasn't experienced anything like it before.
3) "It's just all about exactly what the plot requires him to say in any given moment.". Hmm, Ebert, normally I'd say that extraneous dialogue was a BAD thing in a 2 and a half hour movie. Isn't doing what the plot requires the entire point of dialogue? If Anakin just started talking about what he had for breakfast that morning, would you have given this movie more stars? I wonder.
4) "...those are ancient ancient tired tired romantic cliches from a thousand thousand other movies!" Hmm, so you're looking for a new love story? I don't know if you realize it or not, but a thousand thousand other movies do those cliches because love is an overdone movie theme. Haven't we explored love enough? I think so. When you consider the ratio of romance movies to other movies, it really is sickening. No new themes in love have been explored in decades. You want to talk about tired material? Your review is like any other professional critic's review of "Episode 2"! All critics have this vendetta against George Lucas. So, I'd say that you're an ancient ancient, tired tired, critic cliche who weighs a thousand thousand pounds.
5) From his actual review: "But what about the agnostic viewer? The hopeful ticket buyer walking in not as a cultist, but as a moviegoer hoping for a great experience? Is this "Star Wars" critic-proof and scoff-resistant?" First of all, if you don't like Star Wars, if you don't know a thing about Star Wars, why are you walking into the movie theater at the fifth installment in the saga? Ebert seems to think that people who hate Star Wars will go to see "Episode 2." This is, as I will call it, "a bunch of crock." I'll give you an example. I cannot stand the "American Pie" franchise. I refused to see "American Pie 2". When "American Pie 3" comes out, do you really think I'm going to go to see it? NO! Ebert, you are an ass. "Episode 2" is a movie for the fans. If you are not a fan, go and see "Spider-Man" or "About a Boy", or "Spirit: The Story of a Cartoon Horse". I certainly won't stop you. "Star Wars" for the "Star Wars" fans, is what I say.

Those are only some of the idiotic statements made by Ebert. He calls it formulaic, but I just don't see how it is. Maybe "Episode 1" was formulaic, I'll admit. But definitely, certainly not "Episode 2".

Just remember folks, Ebert is an idiot. To prove this, I suggest you go see his ratings for movies such as "Crossroads" (2001) (3 and a half stars!!) Completely ridiculous compared with his rating of 3 stars for "Episode 2". Ebert thrives off of hating popular movies and loving independent films, and it just isn't the way to watch movies.

Royal Tenenbaums (2001)

Premise:
Royal Tenenbaum (Gene Hackman) is not that great a father. Back in the 1970s, he not only hated his daughter's first play, but he told her this fact straight out. (She was 11 at the time), He also shot his son's hand with a BB gun intentionally. He soon gets divorced from his wife, and begins living in a hotel. In his absence, all 3 children become prodigies. Chas (Ben Stiller) becomes a tennis player. Richie (Luke Wilson) is a banker, and Margot (Gwyneth Paltrow) is a playwright. 17 years after his divorce, Royal is disbarred and kicked out of the hotel room he has lived in for years. He decides he has to make things right with his family, even if it means faking a terminal disease. All of the Tenenbaums move back under the same roof (Can you say "A Very Brady Christmas? That's just what I was thinking during the part of the movie where the children were moving back in), and Royal attempts to make amends, but it is difficult because he was such a bastard to them. Can he make peace with his family? Watch and discover for yourself.

Comments:
In true Wes Anderson form, this movie takes the viewer on a visual journey, highlighting hopelessly complicated characters, wonderfully ironic and well-written dialogue, and the best music montages ever put to celluloid.

In other words, this movie is awesome. It drifts easily through it's plot points, instead of churning along trying to find the next funny situation the characters can get into. It's effortless, seamless, and contains Ben Stiller, in the apt words of Jackson Brody, ".Not being Ben Stiller". "Rushmore" provided many a Wes Anderson moment. If it's such moments that you seek, you will not be disappointed, as Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson create yet another bubble of reality that is then filtered through the camera. The surrealistic approach to life, the universe, and everything that the film takes is in the comfortable territory of "Rushmore" that has made Wes Anderson so successful.

This isn't one of those ensemble films that are just done because a lot of big-name stars' schedules were free at the same time. This is an ensemble film that was done because the script, the characters, and the actors who play those characters work very well together. Gwyneth Paltrow, once the poor man's Cameron Diaz, has now made Cameron her bitch. Her portayal of Margot Tenenbaum is spectacular, and Ben Stiller's performance far surpasses his acting in "Zoolander" (2001) Bill Murray is wonderful once again as a Wes Anderson character, and the Wilson Brothers just rock as far as screen presence goes.

I cannot help but say that "Royal Tenenbaums" is an excellent film, and not just by regular standards. By Wes Anderson standards, it is every bit as good as Bottle Rocket. Can I say that it is as good as "Rushmore" though? That is a tough question, because "Rushmore" is such a different movie than "Royal Tenenbaums." In the end, I am content to say that "Royal Tenenbaums" is every bit as good as Rushmore, however not better. Take that, Gene Hackman! (I kid, of course, that guy is good in anything..)

I highly recommend this movie, because not only will you love Pagoda (Kumar!), but you will not be able to get enough of Dudley.

Favorite Lines:
Eli: Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn't.

Eli: I'm not in love with you any more.
Margot: I didn't ever know that you were.
Eli: Let's not make this any more difficult than it already is.

Chas: Is it dark?
Richie: Of course it's dark. It's a suicide note.

(Royal motions to Pagoda)
Royal: He saved my life, you know. Thirty years ago. I was knifed at a bar in Calcutta, and he carried me to the hospital on his back.
Ari: Who stabbed you?
(Royal motions to Pagoda again)
Royal: He did. There was a price on my head, and he was a hired assassin. Stuck me in the gut with a shiv.

(Speaking of a patient of Raleigh's named Dudley)
Reporter: Can he tell time?
Raleigh: Oh, lord, no. No.

Royal: I thought I'd start by taking you out to visit your grandmother.
Richie: God, I haven't been out there in years.
Margot: I've never been at all. I was never invited.
Royal: Well she wasn't your real grandmother, and I didn't know how much interest you had. But you're invited now!

Raleigh: Dudley has a rare disease combining symptoms of amnesia, dyslexia and color blindness, with an acute sense of hearing. My research--
Dudley: (from two rooms away) I'm not color blind, am I?
Raleigh: I'm afraid you are.