486 - The average IQ needed to
understand a PC.
State-of-the-art - Any computer you
can't afford.
Obsolete - Any computer you own.
Microsecond - The time it takes for
your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3 - Apple's new Macs that make you
say "Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a
Microsecond ago."
Syntax Error - Walking into a computer
store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
Hard Drive - The sales technique
employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.
GUI - What your computer becomes after
spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced "gooey")
Keyboard - The standard way to
generate computer errors.
Mouse - An advanced input device to
make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy - The state of your wallet
after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer - A device invented
to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash - A typical computer
response to any critical deadline.
Power User - Anyone who can format a
disk from DOS.
System Update - A quick method of
trashing ALL of your software. |