|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The uncut X-Beacon files February 1998
Does PaDS exist? Dramatic Scenes in the Library RoomsFor all that's best in amateur theatre, forget the plays: just go to the Annual General Meetings. Dramatic confrontations... side-splitting comedy... heartbreaking melodrama... tragic soliloquies... knockabout farce... bravura performances... It's all there at the AGM. I always marvel at how actors, who shuffle woodenly and inaudibly about the stage all year, suddenly discover an eloquence and presence at the AGM, worthy of Donald Sinden at his most extravagant. So, it was with mounting excitement that I joined the throng at Painswick's prestigious Library Rooms for the first PaDS AGM in three years. And it soon became apparent that I would not be disappointed. Inspired by an influx of new members, all wanting to boldly thesp where none has thesped before, the meeting rapidly transformed itself into a two act drama of suspense and intrigue. Act 1, a magnificently brave attempt at electing a new committee, featured dialogue worthy of Harold Pinter. It all began with a splendidly logical point of order to the effect that the AGM wasn't actually happening. - How do you mean? - Because it's neither Annual nor General. - Why not? - Because (1) it's been more than a year since the last one and (2) there hasn't been a general notice to existing members - What existing members? - The existing members that existed when PaDS last existed. - When was that? - Three years ago - How do you know they're still members? - Because they've paid their subscriptions - When? - Three years ago - How much are the subscriptions? - Er...well...nothing. - Why not? - Because subscriptions were abolished. - When? - Three years ago. And so on... Eventually, in true Pinteresque fashion, it was decided that since this was clearly a non-meeting, the assembled non-members should elect a non-committee (a sort of acting committee, if you see what I mean) until the end of the PaDS year which (it turns out) is June. The first task was to find a Non-Chairman, since Maggie Drake (the last incumbent) wanted a rest from overseeing the type of exchange recorded above. A call for volunteers produced an odd effect. As one, the assembled non-membership discovered what fascinating shoes they were all wearing and proceeded to study them carefully. Ultimately, someone had to crack and glance up. And so, amidst scenes of wild jubilation, a bewildered Jan Campbell was duly elected. The post of Non-Secretary was easier. Jan proposed Jean Burgess as 'she is the bossiest person I know' and no-one dared disagree. What she actually said was 'most organised' but I have many years of connubial experience in being 'most organised' by my dear wife (for 'tis she) and I know what Jan really meant. Just between ourselves, readers, the good Mrs B once gave a memorable performance as front end of Daisy the Cow in 'Jack and the Beanstalk', which prompted one highly perceptive (and absurdly courageous) fellow cast member to comment, 'Well, she always was a bit of a cow.'... I think I might suffer for that! But I digress... Agreeing to keep John Stephenson-Oliver as Non-Treasurer was also an easy decision. This was partly because he had somehow managed to increase the PaDS bank balance most impressively despite (or perhaps because of) previous three inactive years, but it was also because he had arranged the wine for the evening and was at this very point beginning to distribute it. Smart fellow, John. With the wine beginning to take effect, the remaining committee places were quickly filled by an unsuspecting Louis Nayegon, Chris Bamford, Jacek Wolowiec and Maggie Drake (as past Chairman). In Act 2, swept along on a tidal wave of enthusiasm (or possibly wine), the non-meeting set about planning the coming year's programme with gusto. It was rapidly agreed to follow up last August's 'Acting Funny' with another revue. There is no definite venue yet (hopefully the Church Rooms) or title (Acting Funnier...? Acting Daft...?) but the date is set for 24th and 25th April. Producing it are two of the new non-members, Catherine Jarrett and Sally Collick. They have already held first auditions, which showed great promise and augur well for a first rate performance. Apparently it was then agreed - at least, according to the good Mrs B's impeccably organised minutes - that yours truly would be directing a (possibly al fresco) Victorian Melodrama to coincide with Painswick Victorian Day (July 12). I suspect a dastardly plot! Little do I know what other foul deeds await me over the next few months! Watch this space... By this point in the proceedings, the wine had taken full effect and the ideas were getting ever more ambitious: - Must have a good comedy - Ayckbourn or something - for the Autumn. - Or a murder mystery... Francis Durbridge... Agatha Christie.. - Or some solid drama...Terence Rattigan... JB Priestley... Tennessee Williams... - What about a panto for Christmas?' - Sleeping Beauty...on ice? - Let's do Ben Hur! This last suggestion a inspired a long technical discussion about the relative merits of staging the chariot race through the streets of Painswick ('Judging the traffic lights right could be a tadge tricky...') or round the Church yard. ('Might have to lop down a few of the yew trees...') There was then considerable support for 'Gone with the Wind' despite some doubts about how the Institute's fire regulations would handle the burning of Atlanta. As an alternative, a little known adaptation of 'Gone with the Wind' set in the Cotswolds was suggested. Swapping cotton for wool, this gripping drama recounts the passionate saga of sheep baron Reg Butler and his driving ambition to build the largest flock in the Deep South (of Gloucestershire). In the final scene, challenged with giving it all up for love, he turns on his heels and delivers the immortal line: - Frankly my dear, I don't give a lamb! Yes. It's going to be a dramatic year! Be part of it: call the Non-Secretary on 812 167 for more details. Jack Burgess Still-Not-Quite-The-Painswick-Dramatic-Society |
|
|
|
