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The uncut X-Beacon files May 1998
PaDS in Beacon clean-up drama: Villains threaten Victorian Day!Before I get down to the nitty-gritty of the month's dramatic news, I have been asked by our highly esteemed editor to help him in his campaign to rid the Beacon of the inane rubbish which has, apparently, been creeping in over the past few months. Regular readers, who have come to rely on the PaDS column as an oasis of calm and common sense, will find this astonishing, but examples of the rubbish have even been spotted here! The editor's campaign is one which I wholeheartedly support and I am determined to do my bit to stamp it out. I would ask you all to watch out for any hint of silliness. If you spot any, please close your eyes immediately and refuse to read on. Remember, the price of common sense is eternal vigilance! On with the motley.... My fears that April Foolery would languish an unreviewed revue because of press deadlines proved unfounded. Owing to some strange temporal warp, someone was able to write an excellent, objective review, for which many thanks. (Naomi, the cheque is in the post.) On the subject of deadlines, Sally Collick has asked me to set everyone's mind at rest concerning the coffin she was seen carrying around on the back seat of her car. There was nothing sinister going on: the coffin was a vital item of stage furniture in the 'Apartment with Fear' sketch, very kindly supplied by Stephen Smith of Beechwood Funeral Services, Cheltenham, to whom we are dead grateful. Back to the future. The last couple of weeks have been taken up with auditions and preparations for our melodramatic Victorian Day productions (July 11 in the courtyard of The Falcon). Since this will consist of not one but two separate plays and four performances, the organisation is challenging. As you might imagine, The Most Organised One, the efficient Mrs B, has been in her element dealing with mountains of paperwork, schedules, checklists etc. Watching her climb every mountain reminded me of when she played an excessively efficient Mother Superior in a blessedly forgotten production of The Sound of Music. Not only did The MOO thoroughly deal with a problem like Maria, but she also succeeded in having her prosecuted under little-known Noise Abatement (Protection of Hills from Live Music) legislation and confiscated all of her favourite things. This led to a much brisker and somewhat shorter show than had been anticipated. Where was I? Ah, yes... the Victorian melodramas. Competition for the dozen parts on offer was lively and I am delighted to report that the cream of our thespian crop are now throwing themselves enthusiastically into rehearsals for 'The Sailor's Return' and 'The Drunkard's Wife'. Such villainous villains! Such heroic heroes! Such virtuous damsels in distress! Such unbelievable acting! Come July 11, I can confidently predict that there won't be a dry eye (or dry seat) in the house! Well, Mr Editor, sir, I think I managed to keep all the inane rubbish at bay. What did you think? (I don`t know - my eyes have been firmly shut since the second paragraph... Editor) Jack Burgess The-Soon-To-Be-Painswick-Dramatic-Society |
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