|
FLUTE & PICCOLO
Q. How can you tell if a plane is full of flute players?
A. When the engines stop, the whining continues
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do concert band flute players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they ask their boyfriend to do it for them.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the definition of a minor second?
Two flutists playing in unison.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many flute players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only 1, but she'll break 10 bulbs before she realizes they can't be pushed in.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
What key is the alto flute pitched in?
G-- I really don't care, either!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but she'll have to twist it back and forth for an hour to make sure she gets it just right.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the difference between a flutist and a seamstress?
I seamstress tucks the frills.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you get two piccolo players to play in unison?
Shoot one.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the range of a piccolo?
Oh, about twenty yards on a good day.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the definition of perfect pitch in a piccolo?
When you throw it in the toilet and it doesn't hit the rim.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you tune two piccolos?
You shoot them both.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many flute players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: One to change the bulb, one to pull the ladder out from under her, and three to bitch about how much better they would have done it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many flutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one - she simply holds it up and the world revolves around her.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a good flute section?
Impossible
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
