The Greatest American and Other Ignorance-Induced Travesties
- Sam
Oprah. Dr. Phil. Tom Cruise. Donald Trump. Are these the top hits of the day on Google? Nope. These are, according to many who voted on discovery.com, three of the greatest Americans of all time.
Others on the list include Laura Bush, Martha Stewart, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Elvis Presley.
If you’re anything like me, you’re probably wondering how anyone in their right mind could vote for these people. Remember, we’re talking about the greatest American. How is Martha Stewart great? Does being a president automatically make you great? (Yes, Bush is on the list. Don’t worry; Nixon is not.) What did Tom Cruise do that affected America so positively?
The first thing we need to know is how the voting process works. The top one hundred were voted for by people filling out a form with their five nominees. The most popular hundred made the list. A show aired on June fifth on the Discovery Channel showcasing numbers one hundred to twenty five. Then they showed the top twenty five, along with telephone numbers for each nominee. (Just like how they do it on American Idol.) Each nominee also has their own text-messaging keyword for cell phones. Yet another method of voting is online at discovery.com. Anyone can vote up to three times per method for any nominees.
Basically, the people of America are responsible for these terrible choices. Admittedly, we made a few good decisions: people like Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, Thomas Edison, Martin Luther King Jr., and Benjamin Franklin made the list. Not all the nominees were celebrity-tainted twits. Also, a few of them are understandable. For example, Oprah is a bizarre choice, but she does do a lot of nice things for people. Still, is that what makes a great American? “Oh, she’s so nice! I think she’s the greatest American!”
However, I think the most important question to ask ourselves is why Americans couldn’t come up with better nominees. Why did these people sit at their computers and type the words “Elvis Presley” with such frightening regularity that he made the top twenty five?
I’m no expert, but I’ve noticed a trend on the major news stations: they glorify any and all pop culture icons. Not only do they glorify; they obsess. It’s almost impossible to flip through the major news channels without being submerged in every single detail about Oprah’s car-giveaway show or the latest Apprentice cast-off. There’s less and less about history and more about television and celebrities. Americans are becoming more ignorant by the hour and I find that completely unacceptable.
So what do we do about this? This is, after all, just one example of our sad lack of historical knowledge. I propose that Discovery channel and other historical channels try to make history more interesting by giving a more risque look at historical figures. Americans love a scandal, right? Just look at the coverage the Michael Jackson trial got!
For example, there could be a show about Thomas Jefferson’s affair with his slave, Sally Hemmings. The show could also slip in basic facts about his life. It would be like a subconscious re-education, only it would be interesting to the average American. They could also do shows about equally important, yet lesser-know figures, such as Henry Clay.
No matter what they decide, something needs to be done about our celebrity-worshiping culture before we lose what we have left of other nations’ positive picture of America. Now I’m off to invent the Greatest American drinking game.
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