Essence

The Official Law and Constitution of the WHS Band
REVISED BY SHANNON M.
Jennifer Goforth.You have been officially demoted from your rank as TSL to band groupie as a result of your departure. While this rank does have its privliges, you may no longer be included in the group known as a band nerd
..................signed respectfully
.............................Nicholas Drolet-TSL
We, the people of the Waynesville High School trumpet section, in order to form a more perfect institution, do hereby establish this infallible document, to preserve, protect, and defend the welfare of life, the universe, and so forth. And so we, the founding fathers, do imbue for all eternity a spirit of greatness, grandeur, perfection, and never ending to reign with our ensemble, so help us God.
Order of Command
Trumpet Section Leaders (TSL)
TSL Alumni
Omnipotent Deities (oops... already listed them)
Trumpets
Brass Alumni
TSL Girlfriends / Boyfriends
Baritones/Euphoniums
French Horns
Trumpet Groupies
Trombones
Tubas
Honorary Brass
Percussion
Martians
Drum Major(s)
Band Groupie(heehee!--Shannon)
Saxophones
Clarinets
Oboes
Elvis
Substitute Directors
Musical Gimps (hired professionals sic)
Woodwind Alumni
Convicted Murderers
Flutes
String Basses
Honorary Woodwinds
Powers of TSL
Article 1
Sect. 1: Nick D. shall be the unchallenged (until Max G. grows apair, then he will be the challenged but undefeated) Trumpet Section Leader (TSL). This shall be applicable in both concert and marching season.
Sect 2: The TSL is exempt from any and all rules they don't feel like following.
Sect. 3: The trumpet section is by definition the most manly of trumpets (excluding TSL).
Sect. 4: All persons of rank lower than the TSL attempting to give themselves rights shall be deported to Singapore for trial and punishment. All persons refusing to report to Singapore shall be subjected to being strapped to the Pink Chair of Guilt and listening to CJ try to hit a double C for no less than 1/2 hour. (Pink Chair of Guilt! Psychological Ramblings, Confessions, etc...)
Sect. 5: All music, both in concert season and marching season, shall be selected by the TSL, with an emphasis on high register work, volume, brass solos, and testosterone, and therefore trumpet-charged music.
Sect. 6: The TSL shall have the exclusive right to nominate honorary brasses and honorary woodwinds. The title of honorary brass can be given to any band student, brass or non-brass. Designation of honorary woodwind is the most extreme punishment available to the TSL. A brass player designated "honorary woodwind" shall be shunned by all brass.
Sect. 7: Only TSL may mix magic lip-rejuvenation potion (MLRP) and distribute lead "pea-shooting" equipment.
Sect. 8: A penalty of death is an option always available to the TSL.
Sect. 9: Contrary to popular belief, the TSL never make mistakes. They only attempt to remain on the same level as the rest of the section.
Sect.10: ONLY the TSL may in any way modify or misinterpret these rules. All interpretations are subject to the whim of the TSL.
Sect.11: No eighth grader may EVER obtain the title of TSL.
Sect.12: Contrary to common belief, the trumpet section leaders were never eight graders.
Miscellaneous Laws
Article 2
Sect. 1: Make no mistake about it, eighth graders have no rights.
Sect. 2: Sale of the MLRP to eighth graders or non-brass players shall be strictly forbidden. Three forms of ID must be presented by all non-sl trumpets or brass wishing to purchase MLRP.
Sect. 3: All silver horns owned privately by students shall be assigned to the highest chairs, with the highest chair receiving the first pick of the available horns.
Sect. 4: A woodwind's admission of guilt on any issue shall be regarded as an omen. All persons hearing the omen shall fast from their horns for three days.
Sect. 5: In the event that the marching drill involves pictures, the successful completion of these pictures shall be considered an omen, and all trumpet players shall immediately sacrifice a goat, woodwind, eighth grader, or musical gimp. .oO(LMAO, THAT'S GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!--Jenny)Oo. (See Article VI - omens)
Sect. 6: All band students must have 'Eye of the Tiger' or 'Illinois Loyalty' memorized by the conclusion of marching season, 9th grade, or submit to the judgment of the TSL Judicial Committee (TJC).
Sect. 7: No law may be passed which in any way restricts, prohibits, taxes, or in any way inhibits the sale or consumption of caffeine.
Sect. 8: If anyone is caught playing 'Chicken Dance' or 'Malaguena' in front of another band student, they will be forced to consume no less than one canister of Tang, no more than 10.
Sect. 9: If the TSL cannot do something, then no one else can do it in front of them.
Sect.10: TSL reserves the right to change, modify, edit, or amend these rules at any time they please, for any reason, or for no reason at all. All other requests for changes may be submitted to the TSL rules committee (TRC).
Sect.11: Any and all violations or infractions of these rules, defacto or je dour, calls for immediate referral of the guilty party to the TJC.
Sect.12: Anyone speaking sacrilege of the TSL shall be reported to the TSL for judgment, with a maximum penalty of piccolo status. If already a piccolo, you've been punished enough.
Sect.13: Anyone attending the Community Band or the local Symphony Orchestra rehearsals is excluded from any rules the TSL deems necessary, and shall receive the title of Honorary Brass.
Sect.14: If one claims the TSL is playing too loudly, he or she shall be subjected to memorizing the first 100 pages of the Arban book.
Sect.15: If anyone eats an excess of Tang and doesn't chare they will be subjected to transposing 'Illinois Loyalty' into seven different keys.
Sect.16: The official quote/logo of the band will be "Arrogance is the truest form of humility." (Play what's on the page!)
Sect.17: Rolla High School Band and all other institutions of that nature have tamed brass sections and as such have no regard for playing ability. (Will, I didn't write it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!--Jenny)
Sect.18: The back of all pages of music shall be used as a TSL's easel, an expression of deep inner thought. Any items drawn are immediately deemed works of art.
Sect.19: The TSL shall keep a running tally of OFJ's (old folk's joke's) and this number shall be referred to for any other question needing a numerical answer, such as:
a. How many beats per minutes is this song?
b. How many times do you practice a week?
c. How's it goin', Bubba?
d. What is the meaning of life?
Sect. 20: Confession shall take place at least 2 times a month. Confessional will take place after marching band practice in the Pink Chair of Guilt.
Sect. 21: Savage anger WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.
Concerning the Drum Major(s)
Sect. 1: The TSL shall post who will fill the drum major position of the upcoming marching season on or before May 1, unless they don't feel like doing it before then, in which case they can post it whenever they want, or never.
Sect. 2: All Drum Majors must bring tithes of Hot Tomalies or Power-Aids to the TSL.
Sect. 3: Come to think of it, all band members below the rank of Trumpet Alumni must bring weekly tithes of Hot Tomalies or Power-Aids to the TSL. The Trumpet City Code, Annotated
Article 4
Sect. 1: The TCC is by nature, all powerful.
Sect. 2: At the conclusion of the TSL senior year, the TSL shall, in their senior will, will the following items to the TSL Elect: The THB, The TSL Mute, all required skills (ego optional), and anything else they feel is necessary for the upkeep of the trumpet section.
Sect. 3: The TSL Elect must come before both the TSL Judiciary Committee and the TSL Oversight Committee to be confirmed for the position. A simple majority is required to confirm the TSL Elect.
Sect. 4: Only the TSL may, in any way, modify, edit, interpret, or misinterpret the TCC.
Omens
Article 5
Sect. 1: An omen shall be defined as a supernatural act or suspension of the normal laws of band.
Sect. 2: The actions of the band following such an occurrence must contain at least one (1) of the following:
a. A sacrifice (acceptable sacrifices include, but are not limited to: eighth graders, broken instruments, goats, substitute directors, gimps, and under certain conditions, third trumpets.)
b. Fasting from any and all music for no less than three days
c. A declaration from a TSL stating that he doesn't feel like doing anything right now, hence the entire section shall observe a day of rest, effective immediately.
List of Penalties (Oh, how I wish I could enforce this...--Jenny)
1. If anyone is caught showing off during warm up, they must pay a fine of no less than $25.
2. The use of vibrato on a unison passage will result in a fine of no less than $15.
3. This goes for trumpets only.. Failure to use 3rd valve slide will result in a fine of no less than $50.
4. Being told by the conductor to play louder at any time will result in a fine of $50 as well as a demotion to Honorary Woodwind.
5. Missing an entrance when section leader drops out will result in a fine of no less than $10.
6. Blaming a mistake on a sticky valve will result in a fine of no less than $15.
7. Polishing instrument on stage will result in a fine of no less than $50.
8. Looking into bell after a mistake (trumpet players) will result in a fine of no less than $100.
9. Getting candy or similar objects stuck in instrument will result in a fine of no less than $20.
10. If anyone is caught drunk on a gig, they will suffer a fine of $1000. However, if any brass player is caught dating a woodwind, the penalty is death. Speaking to a woodwind is occasionally permissible as long as it is stictly plays into the advantage of the brass player.



Navigation email me about me poetry pix friends rants and raves quizzies tang TSL waynesville vacation 2004 troupe 1669 links kool shit my journal Credits Aethereality.net CSS Max Design Digital Bristle Getty Images Hybrid Genesis Soar Above The Sky		Trumpet Section Leader The Official Law and Constitution of the WHS Band REVISED BY SHANNON M. Jennifer Goforth.You have been officially demoted from your rank as TSL to band groupie as a result of your departure. While this rank does have its privliges, you may no longer be included in the group known as a band nerd ..................signed respectfully .............................Nicholas Drolet-TSL We, the people of the Waynesville High School trumpet section, in order to form a more perfect institution, do hereby establish this infallible document, to preserve, protect, and defend the welfare of life, the universe, and so forth. And so we, the founding fathers, do imbue for all eternity a spirit of greatness, grandeur, perfection, and never ending to reign with our ensemble, so help us God. Order of Command Trumpet Section Leaders (TSL) TSL Alumni Omnipotent Deities (oops... already listed them) Trumpets Brass Alumni TSL Girlfriends / Boyfriends Baritones/Euphoniums French Horns Trumpet Groupies Trombones Tubas Honorary Brass Percussion Martians Drum Major(s) Band Groupie(heehee!--Shannon) Saxophones Clarinets Oboes Elvis Substitute Directors Musical Gimps (hired professionals sic) Woodwind Alumni Convicted Murderers Flutes String Basses Honorary Woodwinds Powers of TSL Article 1 Sect. 1: Nick D. shall be the unchallenged (until Max G. grows apair, then he will be the challenged but undefeated) Trumpet Section Leader (TSL). This shall be applicable in both concert and marching season. Sect 2: The TSL is exempt from any and all rules they don't feel like following. Sect. 3: The trumpet section is by definition the most manly of trumpets (excluding TSL). Sect. 4: All persons of rank lower than the TSL attempting to give themselves rights shall be deported to Singapore for trial and punishment. All persons refusing to report to Singapore shall be subjected to being strapped to the Pink Chair of Guilt and listening to CJ try to hit a double C for no less than 1/2 hour. (Pink Chair of Guilt! Psychological Ramblings, Confessions, etc...) Sect. 5: All music, both in concert season and marching season, shall be selected by the TSL, with an emphasis on high register work, volume, brass solos, and testosterone, and therefore trumpet-charged music. Sect. 6: The TSL shall have the exclusive right to nominate honorary brasses and honorary woodwinds. The title of honorary brass can be given to any band student, brass or non-brass. Designation of honorary woodwind is the most extreme punishment available to the TSL. A brass player designated "honorary woodwind" shall be shunned by all brass. Sect. 7: Only TSL may mix magic lip-rejuvenation potion (MLRP) and distribute lead "pea-shooting" equipment. Sect. 8: A penalty of death is an option always available to the TSL. Sect. 9: Contrary to popular belief, the TSL never make mistakes. They only attempt to remain on the same level as the rest of the section. Sect.10: ONLY the TSL may in any way modify or misinterpret these rules. All interpretations are subject to the whim of the TSL. Sect.11: No eighth grader may EVER obtain the title of TSL. Sect.12: Contrary to common belief, the trumpet section leaders were never eight graders. Miscellaneous Laws Article 2 Sect. 1: Make no mistake about it, eighth graders have no rights. Sect. 2: Sale of the MLRP to eighth graders or non-brass players shall be strictly forbidden. Three forms of ID must be presented by all non-sl trumpets or brass wishing to purchase MLRP. Sect. 3: All silver horns owned privately by students shall be assigned to the highest chairs, with the highest chair receiving the first pick of the available horns. Sect. 4: A woodwind's admission of guilt on any issue shall be regarded as an omen. All persons hearing the omen shall fast from their horns for three days. Sect. 5: In the event that the marching drill involves pictures, the successful completion of these pictures shall be considered an omen, and all trumpet players shall immediately sacrifice a goat, woodwind, eighth grader, or musical gimp. .oO(LMAO, THAT'S GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!--Jenny)Oo. (See Article VI - omens) Sect. 6: All band students must have 'Eye of the Tiger' or 'Illinois Loyalty' memorized by the conclusion of marching season, 9th grade, or submit to the judgment of the TSL Judicial Committee (TJC). Sect. 7: No law may be passed which in any way restricts, prohibits, taxes, or in any way inhibits the sale or consumption of caffeine. Sect. 8: If anyone is caught playing 'Chicken Dance' or 'Malaguena' in front of another band student, they will be forced to consume no less than one canister of Tang, no more than 10. Sect. 9: If the TSL cannot do something, then no one else can do it in front of them. Sect.10: TSL reserves the right to change, modify, edit, or amend these rules at any time they please, for any reason, or for no reason at all. All other requests for changes may be submitted to the TSL rules committee (TRC). Sect.11: Any and all violations or infractions of these rules, defacto or je dour, calls for immediate referral of the guilty party to the TJC. Sect.12: Anyone speaking sacrilege of the TSL shall be reported to the TSL for judgment, with a maximum penalty of piccolo status. If already a piccolo, you've been punished enough. Sect.13: Anyone attending the Community Band or the local Symphony Orchestra rehearsals is excluded from any rules the TSL deems necessary, and shall receive the title of Honorary Brass. Sect.14: If one claims the TSL is playing too loudly, he or she shall be subjected to memorizing the first 100 pages of the Arban book. Sect.15: If anyone eats an excess of Tang and doesn't chare they will be subjected to transposing 'Illinois Loyalty' into seven different keys. Sect.16: The official quote/logo of the band will be "Arrogance is the truest form of humility." (Play what's on the page!) Sect.17: Rolla High School Band and all other institutions of that nature have tamed brass sections and as such have no regard for playing ability. (Will, I didn't write it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!--Jenny) Sect.18: The back of all pages of music shall be used as a TSL's easel, an expression of deep inner thought. Any items drawn are immediately deemed works of art. Sect.19: The TSL shall keep a running tally of OFJ's (old folk's joke's) and this number shall be referred to for any other question needing a numerical answer, such as: a. How many beats per minutes is this song? b. How many times do you practice a week? c. How's it goin', Bubba? d. What is the meaning of life? Sect. 20: Confession shall take place at least 2 times a month. Confessional will take place after marching band practice in the Pink Chair of Guilt. Sect. 21: Savage anger WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. Concerning the Drum Major(s) Sect. 1: The TSL shall post who will fill the drum major position of the upcoming marching season on or before May 1, unless they don't feel like doing it before then, in which case they can post it whenever they want, or never. Sect. 2: All Drum Majors must bring tithes of Hot Tomalies or Power-Aids to the TSL. Sect. 3: Come to think of it, all band members below the rank of Trumpet Alumni must bring weekly tithes of Hot Tomalies or Power-Aids to the TSL. The Trumpet City Code, Annotated Article 4 Sect. 1: The TCC is by nature, all powerful. Sect. 2: At the conclusion of the TSL senior year, the TSL shall, in their senior will, will the following items to the TSL Elect: The THB, The TSL Mute, all required skills (ego optional), and anything else they feel is necessary for the upkeep of the trumpet section. Sect. 3: The TSL Elect must come before both the TSL Judiciary Committee and the TSL Oversight Committee to be confirmed for the position. A simple majority is required to confirm the TSL Elect. Sect. 4: Only the TSL may, in any way, modify, edit, interpret, or misinterpret the TCC. Omens Article 5 Sect. 1: An omen shall be defined as a supernatural act or suspension of the normal laws of band. Sect. 2: The actions of the band following such an occurrence must contain at least one (1) of the following: a. A sacrifice (acceptable sacrifices include, but are not limited to: eighth graders, broken instruments, goats, substitute directors, gimps, and under certain conditions, third trumpets.) b. Fasting from any and all music for no less than three days c. A declaration from a TSL stating that he doesn't feel like doing anything right now, hence the entire section shall observe a day of rest, effective immediately. List of Penalties (Oh, how I wish I could enforce this...--Jenny) 1. If anyone is caught showing off during warm up, they must pay a fine of no less than $25. 2. The use of vibrato on a unison passage will result in a fine of no less than $15. 3. This goes for trumpets only.. Failure to use 3rd valve slide will result in a fine of no less than $50. 4. Being told by the conductor to play louder at any time will result in a fine of $50 as well as a demotion to Honorary Woodwind. 5. Missing an entrance when section leader drops out will result in a fine of no less than $10. 6. Blaming a mistake on a sticky valve will result in a fine of no less than $15. 7. Polishing instrument on stage will result in a fine of no less than $50. 8. Looking into bell after a mistake (trumpet players) will result in a fine of no less than $100. 9. Getting candy or similar objects stuck in instrument will result in a fine of no less than $20. 10. If anyone is caught drunk on a gig, they will suffer a fine of $1000. However, if any brass player is caught dating a woodwind, the penalty is death. Speaking to a woodwind is occasionally permissible as long as it is stictly plays into the advantage of the brass player.

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