Waynesvegas
If you've never been to Waynesvegas, you are missing out on some fuckin fun. We have our frog, a Waffle House, and the barracks.Plus more than 5 interesting adult superstores and 3 night clubs.
We have our Domino's pizza where everyone smokes weed, and Papa John's where the drunks work. Walmart has all the baby's mama's trying to make some money for food, and Game X-change holds all the playas who fuck anything in sight. We have a few car clubs (Speedworks, and SRSNS.com to name a few.)
But here's the real reason why Waynesvegas rocks:
1. We don'e have any celebrities.
2. Everyone in your family has been on a "Float trip"
3. "Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags, cuz we be right in the middle of 'em all.
4. All the biggest bands come to our town ten years AFTER they were popular.
5. We measure distance in minutes rather than miles. (9 minutes on the HW from my house to Cable street on post)
6. Down south to us means Arkansas.
7. The phrase "I'm going to the Lake this weekend" only means one thing.
8. You know several people who have hit a deer. And then took it home with them.
9. We spell Missouri two ways. Missouri and Missourah.
10. School classes cancel because of cold.
11. We know what "party cove" is.
12. Our school classes are canceled because of heat.
13. We ride the school bus for an hour each way.
14. We switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
15. Some people think ethanol makes their truck "run a lot better."
16. We know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
17. We've seen people wear bib overalls at funerals.
18. We can leave a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
19. We know in our hearts that Waynesville can beat Rolla in football.
20. We can end sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example:"Where's my coat at?"
21. Frog Days.
22. Everyone installs security lights on their house and garage and leave both unlocked.
23. Our major four food groups include frog legs, deer jerkey, crawdads, and catfish.
24. Everyone has to carry jumper cables in their cars.
25. We went to skating parties as kids.
26. You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. Sometimes ranch.
27. We design kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuits.
28. Waynesvillians think sexy lingerie is anything they sell at Lion's Den.
29. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
30. I-44 is spelled "foarty-foar."
31. Parents will pay for kids to go to college unless they want to go to KU.
32. Deer season is a national holiday.
33. We know that Lebanon is halfway between Springfield and Waynesville/St. Bob, and St. bob is Halfway between Lebanon and Rolla, and Rolla is 13 minutes from Cuba.
34. We can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch inthe middle of the summer during a thunderstorm and/or tornado.
35. We know which leaves make good toilet paper.
36. We say, "it's not the heat, it's the humidity."
37. We have 4 seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer,and Construction.
38. We know if another Missourian is from the bootheel, ozarks, eastern, middle or western Missouri as soon as they open their mouth.
39. Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all from Missouri.
40. Everyone failed world geography in school because we thought Cuba,Versailles, California, Nevada, Houston, Cabool, Louisiana, Springfield,and Mexico were cities in Missouri.
41. Traffic Jams are ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
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