MY LIFE - MARCH

It's been 10 days since I've written anything, so let me begin by saying that the week was at best okay, and at worst, terrible. I'm still struggling to get over this cold that I've had for about two weeks now, and while it's nothing major, the cough and congestion are just bother the hell out of me. To give you an idea, let me summarize the week for you all, then get into what I have to say.

Early in the week, my mom decided to unload Windows completely, then reload 95 then 98 to try and get the computer running better. Only problem? We couldn't get our connection to the internet to work right. Two days were lost there that I couldn't get online. Finally my mom and I unloaded both Windows and then started from scratch. Complete scratch. We then set up our internet connection with Windows 95, loaded 98, and had no problems from there on with our connection.

This was midweek, which meant that in all actuallity, I should have found some time to work on my site, right? Buzzer please. Nope, none. I would get home from work to find my mom working on her site or on something else, leaving me with only enough time to check my mail or to check up on some other things.

Thursday was my day off, but after running around looking for two books for English and looking for some other things, I was so tired that I inadvertently fell asleep at 9, therefore my night was finished before it began. Friday I worked, and Saturday my mom had the computer again. I also conked out Saturday night around 11, taking away the time I usually have after 11.

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My co-worker Jenny has me confused. She rants and raves about how much she hates this kid Matt all the time. She tells us to shut up when we make fun of her saying that they should get married. Turns out we were right. Through the magic grapevine that is known as my ears, I've found that in actuallity, she likes Matt and can't find a way to relay it to him.

Huh? That's what I said when I found this out. I knew that Jenny was a strange girl sometimes, prone to saying one thing and meaning another, but this was ridiculous. All that time that she said she hated him, that she never wanted to talk to him again, that was bullshit? I guess it was just her looking past the way he treated her and looking at his popular status. At least that's what it seems to me. It still leaves me shaking my head though and just adds to my theory that she has no clue what she's talking about.

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My Ecology teacher had us watch some rather disturbing films in class lately, and as a result, I've been developing a theory. One film, called "Primal Instinct," was good at times and had some great footage. The other one, whose name fails me, also had some revealing facts. But the both of them had some rather, oh how should I put this, explicit material in them.

The first video, like many animal videos, had scenes of animals mating. This one took it to the extreme. Several times we saw footage of sneaky males, as they put it, getting down and dirty with some high-ranking females. Especially this one kind of monkey. Those damn things have sex on the brain. It was a sequence of "quickies," and it had the class reeling in laughter. I however, wondered how they get away with showing this on tv when people having sex is considered to be explicit.

The other video showed more monkey having sex, this time as stress releases among them. Males on males, females on females, it didn't matter. Feeling bad? How about a little sex to spruce up your life? That seemed to be the general message of the whole video sequence. My theory then? The whole animal kingdome is one giant porno movie that we have been missing.

The message I got from Mrs. Neuman? Let's try sex to work things out.

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I was coming out of lunch last week when I heard two girls, both of them rather violent at times, yelling at each other. I heard "You aren't fucking listening" before the smaller one went and grabbed the hair of the taller girl and thus began a fight. It was funny to watch these girls yank on each other's hair back and forth throughout the hall.

I watched for a minute, then realized I was going to be late for government and the sideshow act in there. However, it was still going through my head as I walked that girl fights are sometimes so funny that it's pathetic. Other times, it's as brutal as anything else on Earth. Both girls were back in school the next day, which led me to believe that the 12th grade principal must have had a good chat with the both of them. I mean, a really good chat. *Ahem*

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I was supposed to meet the love of my life right now, Jennifer, last night, but it never happened because she hurt her ankle and had to go to the doctor. I did not find this out until today though, so I was pretty embarrassed my little fit last night. You see, I had no idea why she hadn't shown up last night, so I was fairly mad the entire night, constantly stepping outside to have some words with myself.

I have to admit now though, how I acted was both funny and premature. I basically ranted and raved about how I had lost my entire night because I didn't know she had hurt herself, and because of my anger (and high testosterone build-up), I said some pretty nasty things. Things that I regret saying now. I felt at the time that I had been jipped, which was not the case, and I felt that nothing can go right (which is still up for debate). After reading her e-mail message today though, I immediately felt bad about how I had judged the situation.

The number of times she said "really" before her apologies is enough for me to realize that I reacted to the situation both too quickly and immaturely. When we talked today she apologized again, which leads me to my apology to her (which isn't necessary, but is going to be done). I'm sorry Jennifer that I thought that you had screwed me over. I'm sorry because I know that you wouldn't do that to me and that it was the last thing you wanted to happen. I'm sorry for jumping to a conclusion that was both wrong and unreasonable.

I'm sorry for even thinking that you wouldn't love or that you didn't want to meet me. I'm just sorry that we couldn't get together like we both wanted to. In short, I'm sorry and I know that you are too. There's nothing to be sorry for on your part. You hurt yourself and couldn't find time to call me and let me. You did what you could. I just overeacted. I love you regardless of how things go.

In short, I'm sorry.