First Meetings

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Safety Rules For First Meetings

This is part of a comprehensive training program for Submissives and Dominants. The program is designed not only to introduce the sensual aspects of D/s but also explores those other important areas as establishing trust, safety rules that apply to the initial Real Time (RT) meeting of a Dom and a Submissive.

The relationship between a dominant and a true submissive is both complex and rewarding for both partners. To be successful a D&S relationship must be based on mutual trust and respect. The dominant must be completely trustworthy and respect the needs and desires of their submissives.

The submissive partner must respect and trust the dominant to accept without reservation the training, guidance, encouragement,and appropriate correction of undesirable behavior. The title "Master" must be earned and the title "slave" be respected.

Never forget........ As part of the D/s relationship, the submissive submits to the direction of the "Master" and in doing so, creates a potential for abuse and unsafe behavior on the part of the Dominant partner. Unfortunately, there are among us people, those who claim to be experienced dominants who are in reality sadistic abusers who betray the trust and
inflict pain and punishment far beyond the limits of the submissive.

That is why the initial meetings between Dominants and new submissives must have stringently enforced safety rules. Listed below are the initial safety rules for new submissives. I offer them to all because I believe them to be very important. Please feel free to pass this document on to anyone who is planning to experience a real time relationship for the first time.

Rule Number One:
Meet your potential dominant partner in a public place. The first meeting is strictly social and a getting acquainted opportunity. This should be made very clear at the outset, and any effort by the dominant partner to "seduce" the submissive should be seen as an act of bad faith and indication of a lack of trust worthiness.

Rule Number Two:
A trusted person should know about the schedule of the meeting and should be called at an appointed time at the end of the meeting to confirm that all has gone well.

Rule Number Three:
If the dominant partner passes the initial screening, a second meeting can be arranged. This meeting is designed to initially establish a sensual relationship. But the limits imposed on this meeting are absolute. The limits are as follows:

1. The submissive will in no way be physically immobilized, Real bondage of any kind will not be allowed during the first meeting.
2. Gags or any devices which prevent the submissive from calling for help are also not allowed during this meeting.
3. Safe words will be strictly enforced.
4. Nothing more dangerous that a hand, flat paddle or crop will be used for disciplinary purposes.
5. Slapping, striking or hitting of any kind above the shoulders is strictly forbidden.
6. The submissive partner has the right to stop the encounter at any time and leave immediately.

Rule Number Four:
A safety system will be established. It requiring a periodic phone call (usually once every hour on the hour) to a safety monitor (friend) who knows the location of the meeting and is prepared to notify the police and the hotel should the call be more than 10 minutes overdue.

Rule Number Five:
There will be established series of code words that are embedded in the safety calls that verifies to the friend that all is well or warns of trouble.

Rule Number Six:
The submissive must call the Safety monitor when she or he has left the presence of the dominant and is well away from the meeting place. A code word will also be used to confirm that all is well.

In any D/s relationship, the dominant partner must assume the responsibility
for the safety of the submissive partner. If the dominant partner is not willing to accept the rules as stated above, then it is clear that the dominant partner is not willing to accept that responsibility, and protect the well being of the submissive.
Never forget, submission to a partner is the greatest gift one person can give to another. But that gift must be earned and it can only be given in an environment of trust, respect and caring. Without that environment, the gift will not be valued and a very dangerous situation is created.

D/s is a wonderful and exciting life style, and with a little care and planning it can be safe as well. Have fun my friends, and be safe!!

If you have questions or wish further guidance, I am always at the service of those who need both experience and common sense.
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