"The love of my life. Too bad he's into politics."
--Jodi

"Future republican dictator of the U.S. The only straight-edge kid I know who enjoys shooting clay pigeons. Johnny Wanker rules!"
--John

"He's the best pre-pubescent drummer I've ever seen."
--Brian

"Sure he looks like he's 12, is a junior politics nerd and will probably never experience a live woman, but he's got lots of guns, so y'all better shut up!"
--Brett

"Some girl we didn't know at Friendly's said, "Have you started puberty yet?"
--Chris

"It was my name first, and you can talk when you get a woman."
--Jeff

"Runs a great pancake house!"
--Rich