It's like reading a script of the episode, but this is just the funny parts! Read on and you'll see! :) I'll update this whenever possible, I have been very busy lately, but when summer comes, I'll try to get back to a weekly basis! If you would like to be on a mailing list to be notified when these are updated the form is at the bottom!
Click Here for leftover Simpsons Quotes (from past weeks)
Marge: Bart, you have roots in this town and you ought to show respect for it. This town is a part of us all. A part of us all. A part of us all! Sorry to repeat myself, but it'll help you
remember.
(later, Bart skateboards)
Marge: (in Bart's head) This town is a part of us all. A part of us all. A part of us all!
Bart: Wow, that does work.
Milhouse: We've squozen our whole supply. To the lemon tree!
Bart: You know, Milhouse, I've been thinking: this town ain't so bad. Good friends, lots of lemons, numerous angel sightings...when you get right down to it, Springfield's a pretty cool place to live.
Shelby: Springfield sucks!
Bart: Hey! Stop talking bad about my town, man.
Shelby: Why don't you make me?
Bart: I don't make trash, I burn it.
Shelby: Then I guess you're a garbage man.
Bart: Well, I know you are, but what am I?
Shelby: A garbage man.
Bart: I know you are, but what am I?
Shelby: A garbage man.
Bart: I know you are, but what am I?
Shelby: A garbage man.
Bart: Takes one to know one!
Database: Checkmate!
Milhouse: Hey, kid: stop wearing your backpack over one shoulder. We invented that, copycats.
Milhouse2: Uh, you copied us!
Milhouse: Step over this line and say that! I'll kick your butt! (quietly) ...at Nintendo.
Shelby: I just put a rock in your crummy town.
Bart: That's a crud rock. It belongs in Crudtown. (tries to lift it but can't; kids laugh)
Shelby: Look at the weak little baby. You're stupid, you stupid weak baby! C'mon, let's get out of here.
Jebediah: People, our search is over! On this site we shall build a new town where we can worship freely, govern justly, and grow vast fields of hemp for making rope and blankets.
Shelbyville: Yes, and marry our cousins.
Jebediah: I was -- what are you talking about, Shelbyville? Why would we want to marry our cousins?
Shelb.: Because they're so attractive. I, I thought that was the whole point of this journey.
Jebediah: Absolutely not!
Shelb.: I tell you, I won't live in a town that robs men of the right to marry their cousins.
Jebediah: Well, then, we'll form our own town. Who will come and live a life devoted to chastity, abstinence, and a flavorless mush I call rootmarm?
Abe: The town of Springfield was born on that day, and to mark that sweet moment, our people planted this lemon tree, lemons being the sweetest fruit available at the time.
Bart: Those Shelbyville kids think they're so hot, but you know what? They're not.
Milhouse: I really agree with you on this one, Bart.
Edna: No, children, no! Your education is important. Roman numerals, etcetera. Whatever. I tried!
Database: Oh look, a clue. A candy bar wrapper.
Milhouse: Oh, they're always eating candy in Shelbyville. They love the sweet taste.
Bart: We got to get that tree back.
Database: Oh, you mean going to Shelbyville? Heh, we'll never make it out alive.
Bart: That lemon tree's a part of our town, and as kids, the backbone of our economy. We'll get it back, or choke their
rivers with our dead!
Bart: OK, here's how it goes: I'm the leader, Milhouse is my loyal sidekick, Nelson's the tough guy, Martin's the smart guy, and Todd's the quiet religious guy who ends up going crazy. And now, the time has come to cross this line into mystery and danger -- to step out of childhood and become men.
(kids step carefully over city line)
(in the background, Lisa and another girl cross the line freely
while they fly a kite, giggling and cheering)
Bart: Remember: if you get lost, you can always find East by staring directly at the sun.
Martin: Here's a tip: put a pinch of sage in your boots, and all day long a spicy scent is your reward.
Milhouse: Oh my gosh! Look, the fire hydrants here are yellow.
Nelson: This place is starting to freak me out.
Todd: Danger coming...behind us!
(they jump over a wall; the Shelbyville's kids' dog growls)
Milhouse2: What is it, boy? Is there something behind that wall we should beat up?
Shelby: No time to check it out now. We've got lemonade to sell.
Milhouse2: Huh. Radical.
Bart: They're getting rich off us!
Milhouse: And the kid with the backpack said "radical". I say "radical". That's my thing that I say! I feel like I'm going to explode here...(shakes violently)
Homer: Now, Marge, you can't blame all of Bart's problems on your one little speech. If anything turned him bad, it's that time you let him wear a bathing suit instead of underwear. And let's not forget your little speech!
Martin: Hey! And no one manhandles the bosom chum of Nelson Mundt. Spring forth, burly protector, and save me!
(long pause)
Nelson: Aw, jeez. I never hang out with him, normally.
Martin: (skipping around Nelson and singing)
Hark to the tale of Nelson, and the boy he loved so dear. They remained the best of friends for years and years and years.
Milhouse: What are they saying?
Bart: I'm not sure.
Milhouse: I thought you said you could read lips.
Bart: I assumed I could.
Bart: Hello, there, fellow Shelbyvillians.
Martin2: Wait a minute. If you're from Shelbyville, how come we've never seen you at school?
Bart: I don't go to school.
Nelson2: OK. What's two plus two?
Bart: Five.
Nelson2: Oh. Story checks out.
Shelby: We just got word there's Springfield kids in town.
Bart: Curse those handsome devils!
Shelby: We're going up to the bluffs to paint "Springfield sucks" in huge letters. That way, whenever they look into Shelbyville, they will realize that they suck.
Milhouse2: Ho ho, radical!
Milhouse: (on Bart's walkie talkie) Quit copying me!
Shelby: You know, I wish there was a Springfield kid right now. I'd fill his mouth with stinkbugs!
Bart: No, not in my mouth! ...uh, is what that kid would say. To the bluffs!
Shelby: Quit stalling, kid. Write "Springfield sucks" in giant letters. (bart starts to do so) His can control is excellent.
Milhouse2: Yes. And that wig makes him look a lot like one of the Beatles.
(they all gasp; Bart has written "Springfield rules, suckers!")
Bart: That's right: the stranger who walks amongst you is me, Bart Simpson!
Kids: Huh?
Bart: You know, Bart Simpson...? From Springfield?
Shelby: He's from Springfield! Get him!
Bart: I'll use these spray cans as jet packs and fly to safety. So long, losers! (sprays his feet green) Heh heh heh...
Shelby: You're dead...
Bart: Uh...hey look! Someone's attractive cousin!
(the other kids turn to stare)
Bart: I could sure use that flying motorcycle now.
Frink: You had your chance!
Sign on door VIII: Caution: exit through door 7 only. All other rooms contain man-eating tigers.
Bart: Roman numerals? They never even tried to
teach us that in school.
Bart: (on walkie talkie) Milhouse! What's seven in roman numerals?
Milhouse: I'll tell you, Bart, but you really should end each transmission with the word "over". Over!
Milhouse2: (snatching Milhouse's walkie talkie) Correction: the only thing that's over is this transmission.
Milhouse: Is this the untimely end of Milhouse?
Milhouse2: But Milhouse is my name!
Milhouse: But I thought I was the only one!
Milhouse2: A pain I know all too well.
Milhouse: So this is what it feels like...when doves cry.
Bart: Milhouse...Milhouse! Now what do I do? I got it...I got it! (opens door IX; a tiger springs at him; he slams it) I don't got it. Think, Bart. Where have you seen roman numerals before? I know...Rocky Vee! That was the fifth one. So, Rocky five plus Rocky two equals...Rocky VII! "Adrian's Revenge"!
Bart: I'm never going to find that tree. This whole raid was as useless as that yellow lemon-shaped rock over there. Wait a minute...there's a lemon behind that rock!
Homer2: Bust in here and take it? You must be stupider than you look.
Homer: Stupider like a fox!
(In the Motor Home)
Homer: This is the darkest day in the history of Springfield. If anybody wants me, I'll be in the shower.
Bart: There's got to be a way to get that tree back... hey, look! A hospital. Pull in there! (yanks the wheel)
Homer: Aah! Oh, great, now I'm upside down.
Homer: (after throwing meat to the guard dog) Faster, son! He's got a taste for meat now!
Bart: Eat my shorts, Shelbyville!
Bart+Homer: Eat my shorts!
Ned: Yes, eat all of our shirts.
Abe2: And with that, a mighty cheer went up from the heroes of Shelbyville. They had banished the awful lemon tree forever, because it was haunted. Now let's all celebrate with a cool glass of turnip juice.
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Click Here for leftover Simpsons Quotes (from past weeks)
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