As always, the tambayan looks like it has been hit by a tsunami as I enter the turf of pro-masses, pro-student advocates. What catches my attention however isn't the people inside busy doing something I don't know ( See, I'm not even aware of what they're doing ) but rather two bond papers posted on the wall.
The papers contain the list of candidates for the members of the Executive Committee next academic year. Time really flies so fast! It's already been a year since I was elected as the Membership Committe head of this org er, union.(Put nostalgic music here)
Ten months of being the Mem Comm head is one of the most memorable experiences I have in my UP life. Yeah sure there are a lot of crap and dung you'll meet in the job such as malicious rumor mongers, inactive critical members (aka the more talk,less work earthlings), and those people who think putting a leaf inside the applicants' noses or insulting his or her mother is essential to the future members' well-being.
I believe, however, that not all things related to membership policies, peformance check, and consolidation activities are to be angry about. There are still perks for being a mem comm head, little prices that come beyond all that stress.
One thing I really liked doing is the sigsheet (aka the signatory sheet or according to a current applicant, stands for SIGurado ka bang kakayanin mo ang UJP SHEET?). I mean, c'mon. Sigsheets are the only thing that less likely the General Assembly would debate on. Unless, of course you'll be publishing nude pictures of the members. The Mem Comm head, along with the Information and Propaganda Committee head, gets to extract his creative juices, drain his physical energy overnight, and praise himself for their finished magnum opus.(Though this Mem Comm head only cheers the IP Comm head while doing it)
Speaking of the IP Comm head, doing the job of the Mem Comm involves connecting with almost everybody with the org er, union. If you need a list of the applicants and members, you gotta go to the Secretariat. If you wanted to ask who are the applicants who've paid their buddy fees, go to the Finance Committee. Name tags? Ad Hoc. Consultations on other matters, you need to get the approval of the General Assembly.
Just like what I said, this is the part where you either punch someone now or just later. I think I'm not really a people person and there are a lot of instances I try my hardest to apply the things I learned in Psych 101. Hemmingway, I'm talking about perks here. I intentionally did not mention the Education Committee and the Information and Propaganda Committee heads here. Why? Because compared to the other committee heads, they're the closest people I worked with and experienced one of the perks here.
I have to get in touch with Twinkle, the Educ Comm head, because educational discussions and basic masses exposure trips are included in the application (Man, I feel like giving an orientation here). Twinks, as I call her, is also a member of the UP Campus Crusade for Christ and she invited me to their worship service (I forgot how it's called). Later on, the subject our conversations shifted from advocacy to faith. I know that we did not turn out to be close friends but those conversations at a time my mind was blurred were priceless.
Meanwhile, the heartrob IP Comm head Jaypee's jobs are to publicize any union activity (e.g. applicant's orientation), design the sigsheet, head the editorial staff of our publications, and prepare the "what to bring list" for the induction of the applicants. Well, obviously, I also needed to contact him most the time. This time however because of our lenghty and frequent meetings in and out of his boarding house at Marilag, the acne hater, indoor streetdancer and obsessive-compulsive walking bank account became one of my best buddies. (okay,put mushy music here, whatever that is).
And the best perk of being the Mem Comm head? You get to host the applicants' orientation all by yourself! Just kidding. The best perk for me, after all that stress of giving my best, is being appreciated. An applicant, after her induction as a new member, approached me and told me these words: "Thanks for taking me here."
I know, I know. I'm the corniest person in the whole wide rotatin' planet but what the hell! A simple thank you is the best experience a tired and idealistic officer can get!
#
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02.20.05
Marilag St.*
Sa UP Theatre...
Meri: Hmmm, ano kaya ang pwedeng tambayan pagkatapos ng streetdance concert *pa-cute sa cam*
Jeri: Punta na lang tayo sa Marilag! *pa-cute rin*
Samantala sa isang tagong lugar...
Jepi: Nasan na ba sila Jeri at Meri? May hinanda pa naman akong palabas sa kanila.
Dito na kami!
Hehe, pektur muna tayo.
Hala, The Ring.
Sinong nagsabing mukha tayong tanga?
*Ang lansangan kung san matatagpuan ang boarding bahay ni Jepiboi. P10 pamasahe papunta, P5 pabalik.
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02.13.05
Ang Sulat
Ano ang pinagkakabalahan ko bago dumating ang Araw ng mga Puso? Syempre, ang maglinis ng kwarto kong dinaan na yata ng tsunami! Subukan ninyo! Ayos kayang maglinis ng silid! Para kang bumabalik sa nakaraan, mga panahong masasaya pati na rin ang mga sobrang madrama. Sa bawat kalat, may sariling kwento (at alikabok). Isa na dito ang sulat na ‘to na binigay sa akin ng isang kaibigan dalawang araw pagkatapos ng Araw ng mga Puso ng nakaraang taon:
February 16, 2004
Jerry,
Hi. This letter is actually meant for Valentine’s Day, but then I realized I should not make the occasion an excuse. It took me so long to finally answer the letter/card you gave me last Christmas. I would just like to let you know that I am not asking for something in return for the friendship that I give to people. I am actually not comfortable calling you a friend because we are not really that close or maybe we just don’t have enough time to talk or be together often. I am glad that you regard me as one of your friends, I really am. And as I’ve said you’re like my younger brother (okay, not baby brother because you’re already a grown up!). And I want to look at you as a younger brother. I should really be the one thanking you because you make my life in UJP more comfortable. As you know I’m not that close with others and I don’t know why. Well maybe it takes time. I just feel more at home when you’re there because you’re the only one who talks to me longer and even though your questions are sometimes out of this world I still appreciate them because at least you don’t just ask “Nasaan si Joanne?” everytime you see me. Jerry, thanks also for trusting me with your problems and your thoughts on love and life.
You’re the only guy I know in this whole wide world who admits that he needs love and a girl in his life. I hope I could just admit the same to myself. It wouldn’t be hard for you to find that girl you’ve always wanted in your life, I can see because you’re a nice person.
Remember nobody would ever take you for granted or the friendship that you give them as long as it’s all from the heart and not out of duty or to please people.
I really hope we turn out to be good friends. God bless.
Always,
Maureen
For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you, with many tears, not that you should be grieved, but that you might know the love which I have so abundantly for you.
II Corinthians 2:4
Sa muli kong pagbasa ng liham na ‘to, naalala ko kung gaano ako dati naghangad magkaroon ng minamahal at magmamahal sa akin. Kung paano ako kinikilig sa ideyang darating din ang babae para sa’kin. Kung pa’no ko umaasa na sa gitna ng mga problema ko, may isang taong yayakap sa akin.
Pero isang taon na rin ang lumipas, marami na ang nangyari. At masasabi kong iba na ko tulad ng dati.
Pero ang sulat na ‘to. Ewan ko ba. Pinipilit yata akong bumalik sa dati.
******
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Komiks
Komiks. Minsan nang tinanong sa akin kung bakit gumagastos pa ko dito samantalang wala na nga kong sapat na pera. Simple lang ang sinagot ko: Yun na lang ang consistent na nagpapaligaya sa akin. Ang tao nagbabago, ang komiks hinde.
Hindi ko alam kung paano tinanggap ng kaibigan ko ang sinabi ko. Nagbiro na lang sya na aawayin na nya ko sa susunod na linggo.
Isang misteryo para sa akin ang mga binitiwan kong salita. Unti-unti na nga ba akong nagkakaroon ng pag-aalinlangan sa kahahantungan ng mga relasyon ko? At bakit kung gaano mas nagiging masaya at malapit ako sa isang tao, doon naman ako mas hindi napapalagay?
Sa isang pagtatapat ng pagtingin sa akin nagsimula ang lahat. Umayon ako, tapos ay nagbago ng isip. Isang pagkakamaling humantong sa pananakit sa akin ng kanyang mga kaibigan. Pero sa kabanatang ito, hindi ko lang nalaman na marahil na kung naging kami nga at di ko sinasadyang masaktan sya (bagay na hindi maiiwasan sa isang relasyon), may mga kaibigan syang reresbak para sa kanya kahit hindi naman nya ito ginusto. Sa ganitong pangyayari, nalaman ko rin kung sino ang mga tunay na kaibigan ko.
Isang pabalang na “ayokong makialam dyan” ang natanggap ko sa isang inaakala kong kaibigan. Kumunot ang noo nya kasabay pa ng mga kamay nyang nanaboy. Hindi ko maipaliwanag kung gaano katindi ang sakit nang marinig ko ang mga salitang ‘yun. Mas masakit pa sa mga pinagsasabi ng barkada ng nagtapat sa akin.
Ang tanging gusto ko lang ay mapakinggan, hindi kinakailangang panigan. Ngunit ilusyon lang pala ang bagay na pinapahalagahan ko.
Pero isa lang naman syang nang-iwan sa ere. Ang mga taong tumulong sa akin, ang mga natira’t naisala, ang masasabi kong mga tunay na kaibigan. Hindi lang nila ako pinakinggan, pinagsabihan rin nila ako. Pinagpayuhan. (At pinagkagastusan). Pinakita nila kung saan ako nagkamali at kung ano naman ang mali sa mga kaibigan ng babae. Pero ni kailanman, hindi nila binago ang pakikitungo nila sa kabilang panig. At dun mas lalong tumaas ang respeto ko sa kanila.
Kaya kung tunay na pinapahalagahan ng isang tao ang salitang “pagkakaibigan,” hindi nya maaring idahilan na ayaw nya lang makialam dahil pareho nyang mga kaibigan ang magkabilang panig (kung ito nga ang kanyang dahilan). Ni hindi ko rin maunawaan kung paano magiging isang kaibigan ang taong nilapitan mo para hingan ng tulong, subalit pagtaboy ang ibinigay sa’yo.
Ngayong tanggap ko na ang lahat at masaya na sa mga bagay na meron ako, pilit namang pinapasok ng aking “kaibigan” ang sarili nya sa mundo ko. Pero hindi para makipag-ayos. Kundi magpapansin gamit ang kanyang pagmamarunong. At kung hindi sya mapansin, gagawa sya ng mga mababaw na bagay tulad ng paghampas ng pintuan o di naman kaya ang pagsigaw sa likuran ko. Dati-rati, pinagpapasensyahan ko sya dahil alam kong nakainom sya. Ngayon naman, kinakaawaan ko sya sa pagtanto ko na kahit di sya nakainom, nilulunod nya ang kanyang sarili sa kalasingan.
Madali lang naman akong kausap at sa lahat ng gulo, ako ang nagkukusang unang makipag-ayos. Pero napapagod din ako. Kailangan ko rin namang magkaroon ng kapirangot na dangal pagkatapos nya akong ipagwalang-bahala. Kaya pasensya na lang sa kanya dahil mahal ang sorry nya.
Sa huli, wala pala akong dapat ibahala sa mga kaibigan ko ngayon dahil simula’t sapul ganoon din ang turing nila sa akin. Posible ngang darating ang panahon na magkakagulo rin kami o magkakasamaan ng loob pero sigurado akong magiging maayos pa rin ang lahat. Dahil marunong kaming makinig sa isa’t isa, magdagukan kung mali na ang ginagawa , suportahan ang mga mabababaw naming kaligayahan at higit sa lahat, magpakumbaba. Ang tawag dyan tunay na pagkakaibigan.
At oo nga pala, ang komiks mahal, ang kaibigan libre na, sobra-sobra pa.
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02.05.05
Sins of the Mother
For the crime of being different, she has endured the pains her world could worst offer. The struggles would have been easier if only her mother had been there for her.
Michelle C. Cheidjew, 17, is an abandoned child. Her mother, as told to her by her grandmother, met her father while working as a teacher in Nigeria. After she was born here, her mother could not accept that her daughter was black. She left and never returned.
“She had no choice but to raise me inside her tummy and bring me into this world which at first I thought was made of chocolates, like my skin. But then I realized that though people love chocolates, they would not like to have people made out of chocolates around,” she says.
At her young age, her grandmother would always tell her to apply whitening creams and astringents that there were times she looked like a ghost. For Cheidjew, this only made her perspective distorted.
“My grandmother taught me that kapag black ka, people won’t respect you. Blacks are unwanted in the world. You have to be white,” she says.
To avoid being ridiculed by other kids, she would rather stay inside their house making use of her homemade paper dolls rather than to play with other children outside. When everyone was gone, she would go out and play with herself.
Kids would always call her by different names like Kirara and Baluga. However, whenever that happens, she would just keep quiet and wish that they would just stop. But there were times, she would fight back, only to realize that she should not have gone down to the levels of stupid people.
“I have always considered myself ugly and un-girlfriend material,” Cheidjew says.
Because of that feeling of being discriminated, she then thought of focusing on her studies to gain respect. She was challenged to prove to bigots that she could do some things they could not do.
“Aminin na natin, if you’re black, they’d think you’re inferior. So maiisip nila, ‘ah, kahit maiitim ‘yan, matalino,” she says.
“My purpose in life has become to prove to the people of the world that I’m not inferior, that I should not be taunted and be called names.”
Consequently, she did gain her colleagues the respect she longed for. Even her grandmother was happy every time she brought home medals.
However, she admits that her desire to be appreciated through getting good grades made her a perfectionist.
An obsessed one at that.
“Ang nangyari, napraning naman ako. Nasobrahan. Hindi ko na matanggap na maging second place. Dapat laging on top,” she says.
Despite that she has proven she can do things others cannot, she also realized that some people could also do things she cannot do.
“For instance, they know how to play Patintero and Piko and I have no idea of those things,” she relates.
Cheidjew adds: “They know how to laugh and deal with other people. Ako, I don’t.”
She says that at first, she was happy when she was admitted in UP but later on disliked it for there are many people who seem to be smarter than she is.
She admits that her insecurity is the negative result of her upbringing caused by the absence of her mother. Apparently, Cheidjew still harbors ill feelings towards her mother.
In her autobiography, a requirement in her recent application to the Union of Journalists of the Philippines – UP Diliman, she parodied a classic song in the musical Sound of Music:
Do Re Mi
DO, my dear, my parents dear
RE, remember I exist
MI, they’re missing all these years
FA, so far away from me
SO, my so-called family
LA, has languished terribly
TI, the lies that tinker it
Only brings it back to DO.
Just like any growing child, Cheidjar longs for a mother to run to whenever something goes awry and to praise her despite her imperfections. But as years passed by, she grew tired of hoping she would come back.
“She’s needed elsewhere but she does not realize she needed here also. She’s a good Ma’am, but not a good mom,” she says.
If her mother would return, she says, she would ask her to buy anything she wants ---a boyfriend and a house and lot. But the idea of what she would do if her mother would ask for forgiveness is still out of her worries.
“People should never leave their children behind. It is one of the greatest sins one could ever commit,” she says.
#
Fireworks photos from the UP Lantern Parade 2004
That guy on the left is my best buddy Mark. The girl on the pic is Nica, Mark's "ahem" friend. Between them is a very cute guy who's just fresh from his Masculados stint.
Obviously, it's a fireworks display,dammit.
Well,that's a pyrotechnic greeting coming from a very sophisticated fraternity I forgot.Okay jerry, see you at the morgue.
That's Peter, the guy who took the pictures.What's more, he's also one of the kindest people I've met. He offered me a place to sleep at that night 'cause I just couldn't go home yet. Also, he's a member of the Streetdance Club Competiting Team,who helps Sir J in our P.E. classes, and an Architecture student.Talent and Brains.
This is the Oblation's shining butt. OK, that's my cue to dissipate. Bye-bye!
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01.30.05
"Don't try to correct what other people think of you. Just be who you really are and live opposite their impression and you're cleared"
---Stox
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LEGEND
Trips,adventures, events, anecdotes and whims
Self-analyses, reflections, stress relievers and outbursts
Interviews, investigative Reports, papers and other acad-related stuff
