1. You squash every turtle you see because you believe he could be working for Bowser.
2. You destroy your neighbor’s lawn ornament because it looks like a big turtle, then you go into his house and accuse him of being one of Bowser’s followers.

3. You wear red and blue coveralls everywhere you go.

4. You get arrested for taking a flame-thrower into a pet shop and torching all the crabs and when they ask you why you did it, you tell them that you were only using your fire-power to destroy the spiny monsters.

5. You know every tune to the game by heart.

6. You eat mushrooms and get so high, you think you are growing.

7. You think that if you eat a flower and put on white coveralls, you will be able to shoot fireballs out of your hand.

8. You walk out in front of a car because you figure that you have three more lives anyway.

9. You glue feathers onto your cap and triple jump off of your house.

10. You are in love with Princess Peach.

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