In true Asylum Times spirit, I decided to write some ridiculous articles. Why?
Well, John Collins is currently President of one of the Imperial College Unions, and is responsible for their publications. Whoever let him have this post obviously doesn't know about the Asylum Times.

So he asked me to write some stuff, and here it is. Feel free to copy and use these articles - I can't very well stop you now that I've published them to the web, can I?
A word of warning to the terminally dense: These are entirely fictitious.
For those of you with low vocabulary (or those that can't be arsed to pick up a dictionary, here is the definition of "fictitious":

Of, relating to, or characterized by fiction; imaginary.

Accepted or assumed for the sake of convention: a fictitious belief.
Adopted or assumed in order to deceive: a fictitious name.
Not genuinely believed or felt; sham: greeted me with a fictitious enthusiasm.

Anyway, enough bollocks, here are the articles:

Sex Tax! - - Education Targets 99% Achieved

Knives banned from kitchens - - Irish W.O.M.S.

Efficiency Reforms - - British Fish Stolen!

Rioters will be Stoned! - - Libyan Fried Chicken

Main