The Truth About Andy Warhol's Death, Beat, 15/04/87

John St Peenis (from This Is Serious Mum) has finally admitted that his purported interview with Ernest Hemingway (famous American author) about the underground Melbourne rock scene was a fake. (The interview is printed below.) When asked about the fraud, John St Peenis said that This Is Serious Mum will be playing again early April. Many journalists seemed satisfied by this answer, but when pressed about his motivations for the deception he replied:

"I never knew Andy Warhol. I've heard of girls who dressed in black on the day he died. I know that everyone who in anyway presumed to show that his death was a large even in the lives understands this. I never knew Ernest Hemingway, either."

Ernest Hemingway talks to John St Peenis about his impressions of the Melbourne Rock Industry.

What do you think of the Melbourne scene?

The reformation of the Lime Spiders and their subsequent overseas and domestic popularity, raises some important questions for nearly every band in the 'underground' Melbourne rock scene. That a band of their genre could gain such status points to a new phase in alternative music history. Can a band ever gain mainstream acknowledgement whilst retaining credibility - or at least, the perception of such credibility? Well, it is hard know who to point to. The Hunters [and Collectors]? Maybe I'm Talking? Maybe not. I remember the days when The Police were the sole property of school social through the suburban streets of ......, things seemed to change. But Outlandos d'Amour will always remain an album that is heard between street lights and tiredness walking to and from school buildings with Nick. Though probably that's just sentimentality. Probably that means nothing. Nothing much, anyway.

Can you find any real difference between the Melbourne and Sydney scenes?

Sydney is a beach city, and hedonistic. Therefore they self-consciously want a "good-time" though of course on their own "acceptable" terms. Melbourne tends to be windy. The windy wind seems to come down from the east on the sunnier days, but I kept walking. Outside, the lights filtered, but Harry kept going. "Damn you Harry" - that's what Harry knew his wife would be saying. He took another drink, but started the engine anyway and drew his boat out into the deep water of the Gulf.

Did you see any bands you especially liked?

The Wreckery were sorta cute.

Do you feel Melbourne underground music can compare to, say, music in New York or London?

Well, of course the mark of the best music is the fact it is indigenous to its environment. That which makes it good is that which also makes it hard to compare. Maybe Melbourne music is more "hard-eyed", more "rock", than in those cities. Take Spain, for instance. In Spain the Le Quasitatos are drunk before the fight, but never without the grace that Latins can bestow on drinking. The bull stood and pranced. "My Lord" sobbed Josef, "my Lord, my Lord, my Lord, my Lord." In the stands his parents looked on stony faced. "My Lord" he cried out loud, once, and then the bull was coming towards him.

Good luck with your suicide.

Thank you. When I visit Melbourne, Nick felt sure he would never die.

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