I Ain't No Christian But I Believe In Jesus

[This was briefly featured on the official site on Christmas day 2002.]

I ain't no christian but I b'lieve in Jesus X 4
no penis
no god

Let me tellya

I certainly ain't no christian but I b'lieve in Jesus
There's something 'bout religion that's only for freaks
When he was goin' to high school Jesus hung with the smokers
Surely just as much as he hung around with the geeks

The Lord is up in heaven and we are all sinners
There's the Holy Mother Mary... I mean, yeah right
And I believe in Santa and the fuckin' Tooth Fairy
And the bogey man'll get ya when ya turn out the light!

Cut me and I will bleed, starve me I'll be hungry
It's odds-on that I'll fuck you and I'll rot when I die
If that's the way the world is then I can't see the problem
You only get all fucked up when you begin to lie

So keep yer hands off Jesus, you religious wankers
The whole thing is bullshit, but who gives a toss
You just keep yer distance, I'll bet he'll thank you
The last time he was down here you nailed him to a cross

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