Invitation to IF YOU'RE CREATIVE, YOU CAN GET STUFFED, an art exhibition by Jon Campbell



I'd rather be a drunken yob
Than a sober intellectual:
At least then I'm not a snob,
Though both have dicks ineffectual.
The great issues of the day
Are great only for the stage
A load of windy wankers say
It's important in the Age
No one I know could give a shit
About Helen Demidenko
Who is she? I don't care a bit.
Rather read Alex Jesaulenko.
I'm aimin' soon to brush up
On my post modernist thinkin'
Once I've cleaned the backyard up
And stopped the drain pipe stinkin';
Unfortunately I've just had
To put Derrida on hold
'Cos the shower's lookin' bad
And it's time to Exit Mould.
So you ain't gonna catch me down
At the Continental
While all the wankers hang around
At some exhibition experimental;
Some artists that Jon Campbell knew
Got to see TISM for free:
What a B. F. W. -
Big Fucking Whoopee.
What they call a cultural event
Everyone else just calls a party;
They're in the dunnies getting bent
Between drinking cafe latte.
Fuck 'em, fuck 'em: and if you go
To swan with the famous and rich
I hope that your fucking mother can sew
'Cos I'll give you something to stitch.



Art history will record that it was Jon Campbell who led his fellow-artists on stage that night at The Palace, a genuinely definitive moment in the coalescence of art and rock, now being celebrated at the Continental Cafe, Prahran from Monday 16th October - Sunday 12th November. [1995]


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