[Credit where cretinism is due: thanks to Rebecca Schiller who actually transcribed this. I thought about trying to format it, then thought "Fuck it - it's only TISM". MGF still blow donkeys, though.]

From:	"Owen Brown" 
To:	crap@suburbia.com.au
Date:	Thu, 24 Oct 2002 09:36:30 +1000
Subject:	tism: Fw: [machinegun] mgf v tism v the whitlams


----- Original Message -----
From: "Machine Gun Fellatio Fansite" 
To: "machinegun list" 
Sent: Thursday, October 24, 2002 9:20 AM
Subject: [machinegun] mgf v tism v the whitlams


> interview in today's canberra times with tism guy, in which he 
addresses
the
> fact that they are so much better than mgf.
>
> is as follows:
>
> ***************
>
> After a technical mishap that precludes the slated journalist from
> proceeding, i have found myself in the interview chair with tism's 
ron
> hitler barassi with no preparation.  that's ok, i tell myself, 
barassi
only
> ever lets you get one or two questions out and that doesn't happen 
until
ten
> minutes into the interview anyway.  besides i am aware that tism are
coming
> to town for the first time in ages to perform at stonefest, so i can 
ask
him
> about that.
>
> the conference call person tells barassi to go ahead and that's just 
what
he
> does, barraging me with his own personal brand of verbal diarrhoea.  
it
> becomes evident that he believes he's been shafted and given the work
> experience person to talk to: "how did you get this job in the 
office?
what
> are you, the work experience chic?  [the other journo] is off talking 
to
> machine gun fellatio or some cool band.  you don't know fuck about 
tism,
do
> you?  what are you, in year ten?  what at canberra high?  tism always 
gets
> the work experience chic.  this is the fourth time this week."  
(later in
> the interview i inform him that i have interviewed him before for 
another
> publication and he's unable to place me.  tism aren't the only ones 
who
can
> be anonymous, you know.)
>
> "let me say this", barassi continues: "machine gun fellatio are going 
to
be
> blown off stage by tism.  we've already talked about this.  machine 
gun
> fellatio are in tism's sights.  what a weak approximation of tism 
machine
> gun fellatio are, with the pseudo-corporatisation of their image and 
their
> sort of bubblegum cartoonish approach.  we were working this side of 
the
> street mgf, years before you were born."
>
> but what are tism going to be doing that will blow them off stage?  
"just
> the normal rubbish, of course" barassi says.  "we've been playing 
live for
> 16 years.  we met our ex-lighting guy at the airport and he's going 
with
the
> whitlams.  he reckons 'yeah the whitlams they get 50 people along to 
a
show
> and they all clap and stuff'.  that's not a tism show,  a tism show 
is not
> just a show, it's an experience.  that's why we can still go to 
sydney
after
> 17 years and sell out the metro within three days.  we got a hell of 
a lot
> of work experience people along to the metro and it was cookin.
>
> "name another band that can do that?" barassi asks without pausing 
for an
> answer or indeed allowing himself to take a breath.  "that is another 
band
> that's shithouse, that's had one week of commercial success in 17 
years?
we
> had one week when he'll never be an ol man river was in the top 10.  
one
> week in 17 tmes 52 weeks.  i've had one week where i can considre 
myself
> something of a rockstar and the rest of the time i might as well be 
in
> machine gun fellatio.
>
> "i'm going to use the journal of record that is the canberra times to
state
> confidently there is no other rock band in australia that tism is 
afraid
> of - none.  we've had bands that don't want to play after us; we've 
had
> bands that don't want to play before us.  we know if you put us head 
to
> head, pound to pound, song for song, chord for chord, audience for
audience
> against any other rock band in australia, and they're gone.
>
> "you cannot be more than 17 and be convinced by anything the rock 
industry
> will give you.  if you're more than 17 and are still convinced that
> radiohead have more credibility than kylie minogue, that kylie 
minogue has
> more sexiness than holly valance, that holly valance lacks the 
integrity
of
> dj wizard, if you still believe those things and you're over 17, 
there's
> something wrong.  it's like saying i really believe the emails that 
say
lose
> 20kg in one week. that's all the rock industry is, it's just emailing
> straight into teenagers brains a whole lot of incredible assertions 
that
> anyone with any sense dismisses completely.  anyone with any sense 
except
> for rolling stone magazine.  roling stone seem to swallow it whole, 
but i
> suppose rolling stone are part of the industry that commodify rock 
music
so
> there's a certain self interest there.
>
> "once you take away that commodification that says dj wizard is 
somehow
more
> credible than kylie minogue, what are you left with?  how do you
> differentiate between bands and songs and stuff? one way you 
diferentiate
is
> 'can they kick it live?' and tism kick it longer and further and more
> accurately than any other band in australia."

 

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