Customer: Hi, how much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, Sir that all depends.
Customer: Depends on what?
Clerk: Actually, a lot of things.
Customer: How about giving me an average
price?
Clerk: Wow that's too hard a question. The
lowest price is $9 a gallon, and we have 150 different prices up to
$200 a gallon.
Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference, it's
all the same paint.
Customer: Well, then, I'd like some of that
$9 paint.
Clerk: Well, First I need to ask you a few
questions. When do you intend to use it?
Customer: I want to paint tomorrow, on my day
off.
Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is $200
paint.
Customer: What? When would I have to paint in
order to get $9 paint?
Clerk: That would be in three weeks, but you
will also have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week
and continue painting until at least Sunday.
Customer: You've got to be kidding!
Clerk: Sir, we don't kid around here. Of
course, I'll have to check to see if we have any of that paint
available before I can sell it to you.
Customer: What do you mean check to see if
you can sell it to me? You have shelves full of that stuff; I can see
it right there.
Clerk: Just because you can see it doesn't
mean that we have it. It may be the same paint, but we sell only a
certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way,
the price just went up to $12.
Customer: You mean the price went up while we
were talking?
Clerk: Yes sir. You see, we change prices and
rules thousands of times a day, and since you haven't actually walked
out of the store with your paint yet, we just decided to change.
Unless you want the same thing to happen again, I would suggest you
get on with your purchase. How many gallons do you want?
Customer: I don't know exactly ... maybe five
gallons. Maybe I should buy six gallons just to make sure I have
enough.
Clerk: Oh, no sir, you can't do that. If you
buy the paint and then don't use it, you will be liable for penalties
and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.
Customer: What?
Clerk: That's right. We can sell you enough
paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you
stop painting before you do the other bedroom, you will be in
violation of our tariffs.
Customer: But what does it matter to you
whether I use all of the paint? I already paid you for it!
Clerk: Sir, there's no point in getting
upset; that's just the way it is. We make plans based upon the idea
that you will use all of the paint, and when you don't, it just causes
us all sorts of problems.
Customer: This is crazy! I suppose something
terrible will happen if I don't keep painting until Sunday night?
Clerk: Yes sir, it will.
Customer: Well, that does it! I am going
somewhere else to buy paint!
Clerk: That won't do you any good, sir. We
all have the same rules. You might as well just buy it here, while the
price is still $13.50. Thanks for flying - I mean painting - with our
airline.
