That Crazy
 American Tourist!
(Click on pictures to enlarge)

       One common but foolish idea the American tourist has is that the English language is more common than it is. An example of this is with a friend of mine on her first trip outside the U.S. We had just arrived at the Amsterdam Airport, and we were attempting to reconfirm our hotel reservation. We had problems with the phone located at the airport’s baggage area, so we looked for assistance. My friend asked one of the porters if he spoke English. He politely replied "no." She proceeded to slap the man on the arm and say, "Oh yes you do! Otherwise you would not be able to answer me?" The poor man was shocked and looked at me with a look of, "Get this crazy lady away from me!"

         Another example of unreasonable language expectations happened while I was in Paris. A group of eight of us had taken a night cruise on the Seine River. It was a beautiful fall evening, and the city lights were beautiful. The cruise company had accommodated us with an English speaking guide since there were so many of us that spoke English. To our group’s embarrassment, one of the women from our group complained to the boat staff that she could not understand the guide’s heavy French accent. She asked if we could get a better English-speaking guide. Unfortunately, a group of young French people overheard this, and they proceeded to harass us for the rest of the cruise.

      It is usually considered a great compliment when we attempt to speak the language of the country we are visiting. This should only be done with caution, and is usually best accompanied by a bilingual dictionary because many words sound similar. However, a bilingual dictionary would not have helped me in my embarrassing situation. I was visiting with my non-English speaking relatives in Poland. I was alone with my cousin’s 3-year-old daughter, who was playing ball. I asked her in Polish "please" for her to toss me the ball. She gave me a strange look and had no intentions of playing with me. I found out later that the Polish words for "please" and "little pig" sounded very much alike, and my pronunciation was not correct!

   Another rude thing that American tourists will often do is turn their noses up at foreign cuisine. When traveling through a foreign open food market, don’t wrinkle your nose when you see some strange meat or fish that you would never consider eating. How would you feel if someone insulted your life’s work? How can tourists truly experience a foreign culture if they are not willing to try something different? On the same trip to Paris, one of the men in our group ate all of his meals at McDonald’s except for one night when he ate a hamburger at the Hard Rock Cafe! How do you know that you won’t find a new favorite food? I would not say that the greasy crocodile and the tough ostrich meat in South Africa were my favorites, but I’m glad I had the opportunity to try them!

       Many natives of foreign countries are aware of the American tourists’ fear of uncommon cuisine. There might be some times when a native might have fun with you, especially if you are far away from your usual settings. I had the opportunity to spend two nights in a grass and bamboo resort off the Amazon River in Peru. The resort had no electricity and the only way of getting there was by boat. The guests at this resort had no choice of what they were going to eat. At my first meal, the waiter set a plate in front of me with a rice and vegetable mixture and some dark meat. I asked our guide what type of meat it was. He told me it was monkey meat! Knowing that our guide was a bit of a practical joker, I took a bite of it and told him that I swore it had just "mooed." Everyone at the table including our guide laughed at his failed attempt to fool me. The next day when a couple of men from Austria arrived, they asked us what was served for dinner the night before. My friend and I told him that we had been served monkey meat. The Austrian men were completely amazed and believed every word we told them. We noticed our guide sitting on the side of the lobby holding his stomach from laughing so hard.

      Another important thing American tourists can do before they leave for a foreign country is to be prepared to use the restrooms! Although it is common in most large foreign cities to use universal signs to tell us for which gender the restroom is, this may not be true everywhere. For example, it could be very embarrassing for a woman traveling in Germany if she enters the door with an "H" on it. In Germany, the "H" stands for "Herren," which means "Men’s" not "Her’s!" It is also common in many places in Europe to have pay toilets. It is helpful to keep some of the local currency in coins with you. I had a friend who was forced to try to exchange $1 to use the restroom at the train station right before leaving Norway. Fortunately, they were kind enough to let her use their office restroom. Some Americans also prefer to carry some of their own toilet paper since some of the paper abroad might not have the same "cush!"

      It is my opinion that American tourists should be prepared for what is ahead for them. They should ask questions of those who have traveled to where they intend to go. They should read travel guides and find out as much as they can about the country. Most importantly, they should have an open mind and accept the other culture as their own. "When in Rome, do as the Romans do!" This is a simple quote but can make a big difference in being an intelligent and courteous traveler. And remember, when asking a Bulgarian if he speaks English, if he nods his head "yes," it means "no" in Bulgaria!