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// all about ultramuffin |
Hey there! This is UltraMuffin a.k.a. ReproductiveTaco a.k.a. Kramer... or Craig if you wanna go by what my parents intended me to be called. This is the part of my site where I talk about myself (and maybe we can pin point what's wrong with me eh?). I am currently 18 years of age and I live in Fairbanks, Alaska. I spend a very unhealthy amount of time on my computer... talking on ICQ most of the time, and playing a few different online games occasionally... perhaps occasionally is not quite the degree I'm looking for... every day? Yep! You got it! Oh, and I listen to music all day too, sometimes loud, sometimes quiet, but it's almost always on. I am the shy type, and it sucks! One of these days I'm gonna stop being shy! You wait and see! ... I need a woman! So... uhhh... by now you've realized that I like to use these little dot things ... w00t! dot dot dot ... yeah well, it adds character. I'm trying my best to refrain from putting a smiley face in this text, because that would make it look ugly! Blargh! I guess this is the part where I tell you what's wrong with me... ya know, everyone usually has something going on in their life that makes things a little less convenient. Well, for me it's colorblindness... it didn't used to be such a big deal to me, but the older I get the more it causes trouble in my day to day life *cough* driving. So yeah... keep that in mind before you start bitchin' about the colors on my page eh! Yeah! That's what I thought!
Yeah, so anyway... I was born here in Fairbanks, Alaska... a place I refer to as oblivion because of how isolated this damn place is! From where I live you can go about 350 miles in any direction and see nothing but trees and mountains and rivers... and snow in the winter time. This is Alaska, so you might be thinking it's cold here. You are correct! Well, in the summer time the temperature hangs around at the mid 80s fahrenheit (about 30 celcius according to Mr. Temperature Translator), and in the winter time it hangs around -25f (-32c). It usually reaches -55f (-48c) each year around december, and that... is not a fun temperature. The coldest winter I've lived through so, far it, reached -65f (-54c), when you experience that coldness, you start to wonder if hell really has frozen over. The winter with the most snow that I've lived through, we got 12 feet of snow... yeah... 12... the family dog found it's new home on our house's roof, and left a few little presents up there. Have you ever had to scrape dog crap off your roof? It just ain't natural. Fairbanks is about 150 miles south of the arctic circle, which gives us some pretty messed up light patterns. In the summer we get 24/7 light and in the deep winter we get about 22 hours of darkness a day. It's cool and it sucks, but I've grown up here so I'm kinda used to it.
Sooo... what more is there to say? Oh yeah. I play Tribes, Counter-Strike, and Unreal Tournament. I've definitly put more hours in Tribes than I have in the other two by far, and that's why I'm so sick of Tribes. I make lotsa online friends by playing these games, and that is where my little buddy ICQ comes in! I talk all day and all night on ICQ. It's like an addiction. I enjoy talking more than I enjoy playing games... well, most of the time... I would say that my real life is slowly fading away as I become more involved in the internet, but it's almost the opposite. I've been a computer fiend my entire life, the first day I got the internet, back in 1995, was the day I got addicted to it. Day in and day out, I spend all my free time sitting at this demon! It wasn't until recently that i've attempted to make a life for myself in the real world. It's coming along slowly but surely... I guess. They should make little patches that stick to your arm that release small amounts of internet into your blood stream... that... ummm... AH! GIMME MY INTERNET! When I die I want my body to be cremated and have my ashes sent through a fiber optic cable into cyberspace.
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