First of all, I'm tired of the way I've been doing game reviews. What good are reviews if there's no personality to make it interesting, eh? If you want the facts and breakdown of the positive and negative aspects of games, don't come here anymore. No more attempted good grammar either, that takes too much time and is no fun. So, from now on, reviews will be told in the way I want to tell them, covering only what I feel is important! With that said, read on! Zelda is a very strange game when you're just a youngen. I think I was around four years old when my parents bought an NES for Christmas... Even at just four years old, I already had an extensive history of arcade and video game addiction, but our dating Colecovision just wasn't cutting it, and child labor laws kept the quarters out of my pocket. Anywho, I remember getting a few games along with that mysterious grey box... Mario/Duckhunt, Mario 2, Soccer, and Zelda! For some unexplained reason, everyone stayed away from Zelda though, most likely because the cover was boring looking... perhaps that boring cover was a warning to stay away from it or something like that, because when I first decided to play this game, it scared the holy glazed bajeesus out of me. Admittedly, it didn't take much to scare me when I was a child, the only problem is that I tend to remember my childhood in the most painful detail... all these things still haunt me! So, what is Zelda? It's a nightmare I tell you! After wandering around like a schizophrenic headless chicken of a midgetized dumbfuck youngblood for a while without a sword, I got the first impression that this game was unbelievably difficult. Hell, everything seems difficult when you're four, but running into homocidal chandeliers of varying colors without a weapon of mass destruction (a wooden sword that gets an erection when you have full hearts) in your mitts is dangerous shit! So, after getting my act together, and exploring a little, while splinter injecting some wild donglesnorks with my toothpick, I discover a bridge that leads to dun dun dunnn... the first castle! ... or dungeon, whatever the hell they were called. The whole concept of having these dungeons that were seperated from the main world was too much for my little pansy ass, squeezit absorbing thought processing potato. Let me get this straight... this game wants to transport me from this world that causes me to tremble in fear while robbing me of my sanity, and enclose me in a dungeon full of things 10x scarier while playing super spooky music... for me to grab a glowing triangle from a three headed dragon? When I first saw the bland cover of this game, underwear fudging didn't come to mind... but there was fudging to be had. My life long suspicion is that this game was designed around the proven fact that underwear fudging equals success; five million assbuttered floor goblins can't be wrong! So... what is this game like? It's scary, that's what the fuck it is! Get it the hell away from me! It was the first video game of it's kind I had ever seen... in fact, I'd go as far to say that there's no other game quite like this, but that probably is because of all these *cough* fond memories I have of it. It seemed a lot harder when I was a kid, but after playing it recently, it's actually quite easy if you know what you're doing. I would highly recommend trying this one out. Enter "Zelda" as your name for 2nd Quest! This game gets 10 / 10 stars.