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// vision resolution |
One of the most defining characteristics of the inevitable aging process is the crappifying of one's vision. Kids have "eagle eyes"... or at least they're supposed to, so I've heard. But as the years go by, things start to get fuzzy, and not only on your crotch. You're unable to see the chalkboard as clearly, everything seems just a tad too cozy, cuz you can't tell what the hell you're looking at, but you are filled with a warm and FUZZY feeling. FUZZY! Enough!
You are born with 1600x1200 vision, give or take a few pixels. The part of the brain that interprets vision is locked at 45fps, so no sacrifice can be made to the framerate of your eyes, only the resolution can suffer. If you're anything like me, your vision has stooped to the level of a GeForce2 MX by the time you were 13, hopeful to achieve standard framerate at 800x600... still commendable, but not as pleasing. Wear your glasses kiddies! If those freaky eye dentists (optometrists, the similarities lie in the guilt trips) know what they're talking about, your vision can get significantly worse if you don't aid your orbs of distortion through the optical image reception.
By the time your eighteen, you may be begging for the biological equivalent of a TNT2, because your current TNT1 chipset is causing you to fail math. It doesn't get any better, there's no happy ending to this story. Your AGP slot slowly wears... all you have is a PCI slot for backup. Unfortunately, the PCI slot feeds off of the energy that causes potency, while the energy source for the AGP slot now gets redirected to your bowls, manifesting massive splurges of prunes into a rectum previously thought to be satisfactory in withstanding such pressure.
Now, something needs to be said for 486 vision. This cruel joke that God plays on us all. Before 3D accelerators were popular, things were generally seen in two dimensions. So in the future, when shit hits the fan, and I'm sitting there in my adult diapers, fully equipped with a limp lizard and an assful of processed prunes, unable to see in the third dimension... senile enough to consider that there may have never been such a dimension... that the third dimension was one of Jahova's own acid trips, you may then pull the plug.
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