"BURN OF DEATH" by Sarah Ryniker

STORY LAST UPDATED ON 20/06/2002

Burn of Death Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Epilogue

CHAPTER SEVEN

I felt incredibly suffocated as I read the words during the time we had been missing. I understood that my mother had cared and how she had fallen in love with my stepfather Richard. It made me cry to remember that time, but to read from her point of view was even more frightening. She had been a helpless mother with no one to help her. What had I done by acting so cruelly and so put off by her? It hadn't been her fault.
    I grew up more than I ever had as I read my mother's journals. They gave me the maturity I had assumed I had. I had been a lost, pained child all of these years, refusing to forgive and forget. I had hung tightly to everything bad that had happened. Mama had not pulled away from me; I had pulled away from her. She had just given me my space, hoping that I would come out of it. And all the while, I was hurting her something fierce.
    It had taken me hours and hours of being locked up in my room to read all of the words my mother had lovingly or painfully placed on the pages. But I didn't skip a page, a paragraph, a sentence or a word. I read it all, even though it hurt me to do so as I read what I had become in my mother's eyes.
    But as I shut the last book, I realised that my family was not lost. The whole time they had really been perfect, and waiting for me to come back to life. What was going on now would come to an end. Even before that, though, I would try to make up for what I had done. I wouldn't wait until all of this was over. I would start now.
    I gathered up the journals and held them tightly to me as I walked down to my mother's bedroom. I knocked gently on the door until I heard her say, "Enter."
    I pushed the bedroom door open and walked in, shutting it behind me. I walked over to the bed where she sat, writing in another journal. I dropped the books beside her. "Thank you, Mama. I really do understand now. And I am so sorry." I suddenly burst into tears. I fell to the floor beside her, burying my head in her lap as I used when I was a little girl.
    "I'm sorry, Gabby. It's my fault you have been as you have been. I never tried to talk to you about what happened. I never tried to help you through it. You had to try pulling through on your own. It's my fault, really," she said, brushing my hair back with her fingers.
    "Maybe we're both at fault, then?" I asked hopefully, looking up at her.
    She smiled. "Probably. You are very much like me. That means very stubborn." She laughed. "We'll get through it now, Gabby. We will."
    I left the room with that promise hanging in my ears. My mother and I had a long way to go, but we were getting there. But this wasn't all of our troubles at all. And I was about to be reminded of that.
    The doorbell rang, echoing in my ears. I knew whoever was here could only bring trouble. But trouble be damned. I could handle this. I made my way down to the front door. I pulled the door open, only to find myself glaring out at Mitchell Branch, the man that was my true, blood father, and Celeste. "You two don't give up, do you?" I snapped, sarcastically.
    To my surprise, Mitchell smiled. "You really are an incredible amount like Phoenix," he commented.
    "And that's a bad thing?" My eyes burned into his, ones so very much like my own.
    "No, I don't think it is, actually." I saw something flicker in his eyes for a split second, but Celeste's sudden whining put a stop to it.
    "Are you going to let us in, or what, girl?" she snapped impatiently.
    "Let me go ask my mother if she wishes to see either of you." I shut the door and locked it. Then I went back to Mama's room to ask her.
    "I was going to wait until Richard came back, I figured they'd be here tonight. But I want to talk to Mitchell with you alone, before I announce to Karen and Damian that they are here."
    I nodded my understanding and made my way back down to the door. "Mama says she will see only you, Mitchell. She doesn't wish to see Celeste," I announced, smiling at the look on my mother's half-sister's face.
    Before he could say or do anything, Celeste began to boil over with anger. "How dare she? You just tell this girl right here, Mitch, that everything you or I do we do together."
    Mitchell shook his head. "No, I don't think so. Phoenix and I have other matters to attend to. Ones that do not concern you."
    I led him in, shutting the door in Celeste's face, giving her a smile. Mama was just coming down the stairs when I turned around. Her eyes glared daggers at Mitchell. She led us into the living room, hoping that nobody decided to retreat from their rooms and give us no privacy.
    I sat down, Mitchell sat down, but Mama stayed standing. She paced the room before saying anything. I was sure she trying to gather her strength. I understood what he had done to her, after reading it in the journals. I could understand how she felt.
    She walked over to him, anger in her eyes that had turned black, and slapped him so hard across the face his head seemed to spin. "You are a no good bastard, Mitchell Branch. You have no right whatsoever to be in my living room on my couch at this moment, and yet you are. Do you even know why you are?"
    "Because we happen to share the same blood, now?" he asked, rubbing his cheek and looking over to me. I turned my eyes away from him.
    "Damn skippy. If she weren't alive, I'd kill your no good ass right now. Just like you tried to do to me." Mama seemed to falter here, tears coming to her eyes. I knew she had loved him, had trusted and befriended him.
    "You never let me explain anything, Phoenix," he whined.
    "Never let you explain?" She laughed bitterly. "You explained everything the night our child was conceived, remember? Why would I let you explain trying to kill me?"
    "Ella didn't give me a choice. I didn't want you dead, Phoenix. I honestly didn't. I did care about you, but I wasn't supposed to. You were carrying my child; she wanted you dead because of that. She wanted me dead because of that." He was trying to explain it to her. And as I looked at him, a part of me believed him.
    "You agreed to killing me because she wanted you to do it? That's pretty damn sick if you ask me." In spite of her words, Mama's heart had softened to a point. Memories were showing in her eyes and making her weak.
    "You know how she was. Don't you know that I am the one who took Gabriella from you after she was born? I wanted the baby because I couldn't have you. But I gave in and went to the police to turn my mother and myself in, on terms that I would get parole and an education in there." Which explained the fact that he was a lawyer.
    "You stole my child from me because of your own selfishness?" Mama asked incredulously.
    "I gave her to Jenny to give back to you. Isn't that good enough? You raised her, didn't you? Damn it, Phoenix, I'm sorry. Can't you understand that?" He was begging for forgiveness.
    "I want you to leave this house, Mitchell Branch. If our daughter chooses to associate with you, that is her choice. But I never, ever want to lay sight on you again. Don't go through with this lawsuit. Leave now." Mama said it with such calm, but with such viciousness even I felt frightened.
    He looked at me and I looked away, showing him I'd made my decision, I would not associate with him. I shot a glance at him and he nodded to Mama and then to me. Then he stood up and he left. But as he got to the doorway, he turned around to say one more thing. "I'm not really married to Celeste, you know. I've only done what they ask because I wanted to get close to you two again. I guess that was a mistake."
    We heard the front door slam. Then I turned to Mama. "Do you believe him, Mama?" I asked.
    She looked thoughtful for a moment. Then she nodded. "Yes, I actually do. But that doesn't mean I can ever forgive him."
    "Me either, Mama," I told her. I smiled assuredly at her and she hugged me.
    "Sometimes you act like him. You remind me of what I actually loved about him, and it makes me realise that not everything about him was a complete lie." She left the room after having her say.
    The phone rang not long after Mitchell left the house. I knew he knew that it was I on the other line, but he ignored it and asked for Karen or Damian. I went to their room, knocked gently and then called to tell them they were wanted on the phone. I had no idea what Mitchell told Karen, but whatever it was made her very angry. She glared at me as she came from the kitchen where the phone was hanging. Then she made her way up to Mama's room. The argument was loud, and obviously Mitchell had expressed to her what he was to us. Karen was angry with that. She had Damian and Annie pack their things. They left Julie here, without even saying goodbye to her. It showed me just how little she cared about her own child.
    I had really thought it was the end of it all. I had thought that my family could be as one again and not have anything hanging over our heads. Mama gave up half of her inheritance to Annie a week after they left, knowing that it was only right. And two months later, we heard that Annie had left Damian and Karen and nobody had heard from her for a long time.
    Hunter had been trying to get me to talk to him. Every day before he had a class and after he had a class he would come by. Even days he didn't have anything to do he would come by. I would talk to him, and eventually I lightened up enough to become his friend. I refused to be anymore than that, and he didn't push the subject. I found I rather liked being in his company, and I think he enjoyed being in mine without having to comfort me every time he turned around.
    Julie and I became very close, too. And often Kit, Julie and I would be found together doing something. Even with Hunter as well. It felt good to feel normal. But that normality would be shattered again. I could feel it as sure as I could feel my fingers attached to my hand.
    I walked out of the bathroom, shaking my head. I knew it all too well, but I didn't want to know it. I tried to ignore it, but it was there. Why had I been so stupid and careless that night? Just because I was hurting and feeling lonely and empty? I was so stupid!
    I hadn't had my period since early October. It was now December, days away from Christmas. There was no mistaking the fact that I was pregnant. But I needed to either be told, or at least get a pregnancy test. Which I did.
    I only told Julie about it. We went to the store together and got one. I went into the restrooms after I had bought it. I set it down and waited until the little window could tell me the truth. It was the longest minute of my life watching as the two little pink lines showed up across the screen, telling me that I was pregnant. And the thought of what I was going to do put real fear into my heart.
    I picked up the test and walked out to where Julie sat. I clutched the test so tightly in my hand I was sure I would have the imprint of it in my hand. I swallowed hard as I handed her the test, unable to say the words out loud. She looked up at me as she took it from my hands. She looked down and her eyes went wide. "When did this happen, Gabby?" she asked.
    "The night I found out about Mitchell being my real father. I ran to the cemetery. Hunter found me there, and his sister Hannah took care of me at his house. I stayed the night there. But I wasn't alone," I admitted.
    "You have to tell him," she insisted.
    "How? He's only my friend. I can't tell him yet!" I moaned, sitting down beside her on the bench.
    "You know he wants more than friendship from you, Gabby. You're just too afraid of it."
    I knew she was right. But that didn't give me any less fear about announcing it to him. "Well, I think I'll tell Richard, Mama and Kit about it first. Maybe it'll be easier," I reasoned.
    Of course, it wasn't any easier. That had been false hope completely. As I stood before them to tell them, I stuttered until finally Julie told them for me. They were happy for me, without even knowing the dread I felt.
    I told Hunter a day later. I married him when I was four months pregnant. I was happy, because I loved him. I was scared because I didn't know what kind of mother I could be to this child.

Burn of Death Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Epilogue

Back to Home