"MELANCHOLY DREAMS" by Sarah Ryniker

STORY LAST UPDATED ON 01/03/2003

Melancholy Dreams Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Epilogue

CHAPTER SEVEN: THE CHANGE IN ME

In spite of Felicity's attitude, I managed to live happily and content. Once I was past the shock of what I'd decided to do without thinking, things were going smoothly. I found that I rather liked being around Tomas and Eddie. My soon-to-be husband was disarmingly charming and the perfect gentleman. After a week of being in the house, he hadn't laid a single, sexual finger on me, nor had his lips even kissed me.
    I liked being around my brother as well. At the age of nine he'd been kicked on the head by a horse and had gone blind. In spite of such a hardship, he'd become quite a man - a handsome one to boot. Although blind, I caught sight and sound of many of the young maids taking glances and talking about the young master of the house. And, according to Tomas, he was quite a catch amongst the rich young ladies, as well.
    I found, quite quickly, why there was so much talk about Eddie. He was as charming as his father, yet in a different way. He seemed worldly, yet innocent. He was honest and down-to-earth, something I found that I liked about him immensely. In fact, I found myself talking an intense amount about him to Kim or Francine when I would speak with them on the phone.
    "Just remember that he is your brother, Cry. Don't let feelings get in the way," Francine warned ominously.
    "Oh! Don't be silly, Francine. Of course I'll remember he's my brother. How could I forget?" I cried, laughing at her warning. What a silly idea. But was it?
    "Alright, I'll believe you. But you guys didn't grow up together, so you developing serious feelings for him wouldn't be too abnormal. And the fact that he doesn't know that you're his little sister, not just his soon-to-be stepmother."
    I cringed at her words. I knew that she disliked, even hated, the idea of my marrying my mother's ex-husband. "Fine, fine, I understand. But don't worry so much. I won't develop any feelings for him. I promise!" I cried. I clicked the phone off a few minutes later and set it on my dresser.
    I looked at myself in the mirror as my thoughts began to get jumbled. I had always hated that about Francine. Right from the beginning she made me think. And I wasn't exactly a big fan of thinking.
    But ever since my situation with Landon, I had become some sort of sex addict. Every man I saw, I would wonder to myself how well he performed in bed and how big his penis was. It shocked me that I would think about things like that. Of course, I never chased these men down, but still, I was addicted to sex. And if given the chance, I wasn't so sure that I wouldn't very well sleep with my older half-brother.
    Felicity hated me. That's all there was to it. It was as if she could see every single one of my flaws right away. Every time I was around her, I could feel her eyes piercing my very flesh. I felt as if she could see right through me and knew every lie I'd ever told. Sometimes I wondered if she didn't know who I really was. Her suspicious gazes always spooked me out and gave me reason to leave the room quickly.
    One day, I found myself wander into the shrine room that Tomas had put together after Mother had left him. Felicity sat there, staring thoughtfully up at the large picture of our mother. On the table next to where she sat was a glass of Scotch. She sipped it nonchalantly, though I knew that she was deep in thought. I assumed that she was so deep in thought that she didn't realise that I was studying her, until, that is, I went to turn and leave.
    "Don't think I don't know why my father wishes to marry you," she hissed. I didn't need to see her face to see her eyes glowing with anger and suspicion.
    "Why do you think he wants to marry me?" I asked, quietly.
    She stood up slowly and turned my way. A wicked smile curved her beautiful lips. "I've been sitting here dwelling on it. It takes no fool to realise that you are an almost identical replica of my mother."
    "So you believe that to be the reason?" I breathed a silent sigh of relief. She didn't know.
    "I believe that to be one of them. But I see by the look in your eyes that there is more to it than that. And I will get down to the bottom of it. I always get the answers that I want." She walked past me then, and out the door, her threat dangling in the air in front of me.
    I shivered and left the room. She always gave me the willies, and that made me thankful that I hadn't grown up with her. What a horrible childhood I would have had. A sister forever lurking in the shadows to watch and analyse my every move didn't exactly sound appealing.
    Of course, Eddie and Tomas both had different views on her. Eddie, especially, always told me that Felicity was very different once you got to know her. He cherished his sister to the point where she did no wrong in his eyes. I didn't understand it, and wanted to very much.
    "How can I get to know somebody that doesn't want me to get to know them, and vice versa? She doesn't want to get to know me either!" I whined one day as we sat on one of the many bridges that fell in arches over the many large ponds that were spread about the property.
    "You just don't understand Felicity. She really is a good person. She's just been through a lot in her life," he pleaded with me to understand.
    "She gives me dirty looks all of the time, makes rude comments, and I'm supposed to try to understand her?" I pouted. That was hardly fair. "And how can somebody who grew up so rich go through a lot of things in their lives? She's just spoiled, that's all."
    "I'm not the one that is meant to discuss things about Felicity with you. Only she can tell you what is in her heart. But I will tell you one thing, it has a lot to do with our sister Kassy." That changed the subject completely, like I'm sure he'd planned on.
    "Kassy," I said out loud. "What is she like? I haven't met her yet."
    He smiled at the thought of his, and my, oldest sister. "Kassy is very carefree. She doesn't care about much that doesn't have to do with her self and she is very immature. Hopefully her two daughters won't turn out to be the same way. How her husband can deal with her immaturity is beyond me."
    I blanched at the thought, and thanked God he couldn't see me. Kassy was immature and very child-like. Could she very well be the same way I had been? I still often felt the need to curl up into my little world of childhood. It came more and more frequently now, and was becoming difficult to fight off. Life was just too much for me to handle, just like Mother always said it was. I wanted so much to prove her wrong, but I wasn't sure I'd be able to.
    I would soon find out how much like Kassy I was. Of course, she acted different, at first, seeming to be perfectly normal. She had come over to visit with her husband and two children. Her oldest, Brittany, was five, and the younger of the two, Bambi, oddly and pathetically named after her mother's favourite Disney movie, was only nine months old.
    Kassy was as beautiful as ever. She looked very much like Tomas, not really a trace of Mother in her. Her eyes were wide and held innocence in them that proved, only slightly, what Eddie had said about her. Since she would be staying a week, I found out a lot of things about my sister and what Eddie had told me.
    Kassy's husband, Allen, was a handsome man. From his golden hair and pale blue eyes to his beautiful smile and muscular body, he appeared to be a Greek God. He could make any woman's stomach turn with anticipation, and I, of course, was no exception. I wanted to drag him upstairs to my room and keep him busy there all day long. I forced myself to calm down and remember that he was my sister's husband.
    Felicity was there when I met them, and her eyes watched my every move. I noticed her eyes darken and widen when I shook hands with Allen. I knew that she had seen my attraction to him, and knew that I would be watched ever so close around him now, as well. But Felicity couldn't watch my every move. I knew it was a wicked thought, but Felicity's reaction to my every move made me want to do things behind her back, the things she suspected me of.
    If Kassy noticed how much I was flirting with her husband, she never said anything. She smiled, nodded and congratulated her father on his new bride. Something was wrong with her; I could see that. She was different, somewhere off in a world all of her own. She hardly paid attention to Bambi, and Brittany seemed like a little old lady, taking care of her mother as if she were the child.
    Brittany didn't seem to like me very much. Just like Felicity, she gave me dirty, suspicious looks. I ignored her, however. She was only a child and really didn't know much about anything. She was merely an annoying little bug. I wanted nothing to do with her.
    But I did want to have a lot to do with her father. And Allen seemed to feel the same way. He kept giving me looks that made me want to attack him right then and there. But I had to only wait until that night right after everyone had retired for bed.
    There was a knock on my door, and I sat up slowly and told whomever it was to enter. In my heart I knew, and as guilty as I felt, I wasn't going to put a stop to it. I knew that it was childish and immature, but I wanted what I wanted, and I would have what I wanted.
    "Hello? You sure you want me to come in here?" I heard Allen's voice tease.
    I smiled wickedly. "I've been wanting you to come in here all night long," I replied in a sleepy, sexy voice.
    I heard him laugh and sit beside my bed. "My God, you're a sexy woman," he mumbled, and ran his forefinger down my chest, between my breasts that were almost fully visible beneath my low-cut nightgown.
    I breathed out, and reached my hand out to touch him. My hand found the top of his pants, and I slid it down between his legs and centred it right on top of where he was already growing hard. "Want me much?" I laughed.
    As he began to touch me, thoughts of Felicity and her cruel words flew through my mind. I should've turned him away. I knew that I should. Yet Felicity telling me not to do such a horrible thing, even if only in my mind, only made me want to do it more. It scared me, yet excited me all at once. I chose the only thing that would make me content.
    That night, all guilt flew out the window. I suddenly changed, yet again. I cared about nothing more than what I wanted. I had the most passionate affair with my sister's husband behind her back, and laughed because she was too childish and stupid to realise what was going on.
    Sex suddenly became a game. It was fun and I didn't care whom it was with. Felicity was even more disgusted with me, and that did nothing more than add fuel to my fire. When Allen left, I decided to close in on the one person who I knew would bother Felicity - her twin brother.
    I wanted Eddie. Many women did, but I knew that I could have him. I felt stronger for him, though. I didn't just want him sexually; though that's the only way I would have him. I began my seduction of him the very day Kassy and Allen left.
    If Tomas noticed what was going on, he, like his daughter, ignored it. He did nothing but help me make plans for our wedding. By then it didn't really matter to me if I was marrying a man I hardly knew. It didn't seem like I would ever even have sex with the man that was supposed to be my husband. He seemed to ignore me with every fibre of his being. He only wanted me to be his wife, though I didn't understand why he wanted me to be his wife so much. Maybe Felicity was right, and he only wanted to marry me because I looked like my mother.
    It was only a week after my twentieth birthday when I was dressed in my wedding gown. I had yet to get Eddie into my bed, but I knew that he was developing feelings for me. It was only a matter of time.
    The day of my wedding was the day after Francine, Kim, Kylie and David showed up. I had grown excited and couldn't wait to put the three girls into dresses. All three, even little Kylie, were to be my bridesmaids. I had chosen Felicity, for Eddie's sake, to be my maiden of honour. She had accepted, in spite of wanting to spit in my face.
    "You look fabulous!" Kim exclaimed when she saw me in my dress. It was sleeveless and dipped down low between my breasts and gave an intense amount of cleavage. It was tight about my waist and flared out at my hips. The train was about three feet long and made the dress extremely heavy.
    "As do you, Kim. And Francine." Francine had grown so annoyed with me she seemed to want to be in my wedding about as much as Felicity.
    "Well, thank you," she muttered, and left the room. It annoyed me how well she was getting along with my archenemy, also known as my older sister. They seemed to be made for each other.
    My wedding was only another excuse for Felicity to take over everything. She seemed to run the wedding. She ran here and there, telling everyone what to do, where to stand, what to do after the ceremony was over, how to proceed, elegantly and politely, to the reception in the giant ballroom.
    "I want to thank you, Felicity, for taking care of everything. I am not very good at telling people what to do." I wanted only to annoy her more by being nice to her.
    She smiled, but when she looked into my eyes, I saw a wish for my death lying in them. "It's the least I could do for my father." With that she left the room, Francine not far behind her.
    Saying, "I do" to Tomas was an easy thing. He was an easygoing guy. But after the ceremony was over and we had our first dance as husband and wife, he disappeared. I didn't really care, however. I began to drink, and I knew that I was getting extremely drunk.
    I was so wasted that Eddie decided to lead me out of the room. I knew it was what Felicity asked him to do. I had seen her whisper in his ear. I could hear her whispering, "Get her out of here before she totally embarrasses us all."
    Little did she know that she had helped me get what I had wanted. He took me upstairs to my bedroom, where I turned right around and kissed him. "I want you, Eddie. I want you more than you know."
    "No, you don't. You're just drunk." He stared ahead, as he always did, but I could feel that my words had done something to him.
    I laughed, and placed my hand on his groin. "Have me," I whispered in his ear, and then kissed him.
    I'll never know why he didn't resist. He touched me and kissed me all over, and to my disgust I didn't enjoy it at all. He was loving and gentle, not something that I was very fond of at all. When it was over, I was most definitely unsatisfied, and left him sleeping in my bed while I searched out either David or Allen. I knew one or the other would take me in the wild, passionate way that I enjoyed so much.
    However, I never made it to where I wanted. It's the last thing I remember of my wedding day. And it was the most terrifying thing to see, a second time.

Melancholy Dreams Prologue Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Epilogue

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