| DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and the LAW |
| What is domestic violence under the law? |
| The legal definition of domestic violence under the law includes: Causing you physical harm (hitting-pushing-kicking-slapping-throwing things, etc). Threatening you with physical harm (with or without a weapon). Forcing you or attempting to force you to engage in any sexual act. Holding you against your will. |
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| Emotional Abuse |
| Domestic violence also includes placing a party in fear of imminent, serious, bodily harm by threat or force. This includes threats of violence, or other conduct that would cause a reasonable person to suffer substantial emotional distress. For example...."I will hit you." or "If you leave....I will hurt you." ...or "If you tell anyone....I will kill you." |
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| How does the law protect against domestic violence? |
| You can file for "civil relief" in the civil courts if : You are the spouse or the former spouse of an abuser. You are the current or former live-in girlfriend of the abuser. You are being stalked or harassed by "any" person. If you have suffered violence in an abusive relationship, regardless of whether you are married or not.....you CAN and SHOULD bring criminal charges. |
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| How can a victim of domestic violence get help? |
| CALL THE POLICE: If you are a victim of domestic violence , you can call the police or the county sheriff for help. The law requires the police to provide you with: ADVICE: They are trained to know where the domestic violence shelters are located. If you are hurt or in need of food....the police can direct you to the proper community resource. TRANSPORTATION: Law enforcement officers CAN and SHOULD take you where you need to go to get help. Whether it be to a shelter or the home of a friend...or family member, or the shelter or hospital. EMERGENCY ASSISTANCE: Law enforcement officers are required by law to do whatever is reasonable to protect you from harm. They can arrest the abuser if they believe he has harmed you. They have an OBLIGATION to arrest the abuser if the abuser has violated a court order by hurting you or coming to your home or place of employment. If you have no court order.....and have called the police twice within a 12 hour period, in most states....they are required to arrest the abuser |
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| WHEN YOU CALL THE POLICE............... ..Be ready to protect yourself from harm.....at least for a short while. ..Collect the evidence that you have been beaten or threatened. ..Ask the police to file a report of the incident. Ask them to take pictures of your injuries. Get the police officers name and badge number so he/she can be a witness for you in any court proceeding you may bring against your abuser. Write this information down so you can give it to the prosecuting attorney if you pursue a criminal complaint. |
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| PREPARE TO TAKE YOUR ABUSER TO COURT: If you do NOT pursue your civil remedies in court and fail to press charges against your abuser, the police may (although they should NOT) become less likely to help you in the future. In addition your abuser may believe they can get away with hurting you. So PLEASE be prepared to take your abuser to court...whether it be civil, criminal..or both! |
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| HOW TO PURSUE YOUR CIVIL AND CRIMINAL REMEDIES: This can be a long process...HOWEVER please do not get discouraged. It just takes time to wind your way through the legal system. To get you started, you can do one of these three things: .. Clerk of Courts-- Go to your local clerk of courts office to file a request for a petition for a protective order. A local domestic violence shelter can usually assist you in preparing these forms. If not.....the clerk of courts will. .. Prosecutor-- If the police officer does not pursue criminal charges against your abuser..see the local prosecutor yourself and pursue a criminal complaint. .. Domestic Violence Center and/or Attorney-- For more help contact your local domestic violence shelter or attorney |
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| What is the difference between Civil and Criminal remedies? |
| Ok....The purpose of a criminal action is to punish the abuser. The purpose of a civil action is to get certain types of relief for you from the abuser. Such as an order of protection. Civil cases are not a part of the abusers criminal records. You do NOT need to decide between civil and criminal. You can pursue both for the same incident of violence. |
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| What kind of relief can you be given in a civil action? |
| You can request and may get the court to order: (but not limited to) ..the abuser not assault, threaten, harass, or contact you in any manner. ..possession of the residence ..or suitable housing other then the residence ..assistance in evicting the abuser through the help of law enforcement ..custody of the minor children if you have any...PLUS a temporary child support order ..possession of the vehicle ..possession of the furniture and other household goods. ..your court costs paid by the abuser and sometimes even your attorney fees paid by the abuser. ..housing costs paid by the abuser including but not limited to your rent or mortgage pmt. ..the abuser required to attend counseling programs. |
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| There is so much I could write about in this section of my site. Still.....you have to go through the proper channels in your state. Laws vary from state to state...but the basics of what I have given you here apply in most all states. I am not a lawyer....nor do I know all there is to know about the law. This is just a guideline for you to go by. In my case I was given an "ex parte" order first thing. I was lucky in the fact that my Father did most of the leg work for me as I was hospitalized after my abusers last attack. What the ex parte did for me ....was provide me with a temporary order pending the full order of protection. The judge that issues this does not have to contact the abuser before an ex parte is given. You should verify that this is the case in your state. An ex parte is good in that you are given protection while the abuser is issued a summons to appear in court. Whatever you decide to do......remember one thing. Domestic violence can be stopped....you just have to take that first step. Stop the silence ....get your life back. Learn to be happy again. Learn that not everyone is abusive. Learn to love yourself again. Because you know what??? Your abuser has been lying to you. He has been degrading you and telling you all sorts of things about yourself that simply are not true. Most importantly ...always remember....YOU ARE SPECIAL!! |
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| I TRUELY LOVE ALL OF YOU!! |
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