Stupid Club Rules

Well, it comes to my attention that some of you have been just plain getting out of hand. It is my duty and obligation as founder of this Stupid club, to lay down some ground rules for behavior to which you must strictly adhere.

As I'm sure you've been told, again and again and again...and again, "Rules are there for YOUR protection." Admonishments to color within the lines and walk a straight and narrow path down the center lines of the freeway of life, are meant to further your betterment and protect your well-being.

With that in mind, I must now take the bull by the Christmas bells which have been hung about his neck for this festive holiday season, which began in late July and will continue through February. Oh, and if you're of the revered White Trash persuasion as I am, you will leave your decorations up all year around. Saves time and effort.

No joke is considered too bad.
No length too far to go for a joke.
No joke has gone bad with age. Old jokes are a mainstay. Recycle, recycle, recycle!
Puns are good and should be used often.
The more it hurts, the funnier it must have been. The more one groans after having been told a joke is in direct proportion to just how awful (read: Wonderfully funny!) the joke is.
No permanent damage. (Borrowed from Penn & Teller.)
Study the old and new Masters of this craft: Weird Al, Penn & Teller, MST3K, Red Dwarf, The Stooges, The Marx Brothers, Abbott and Costello, Warner Cartoons, Mad Magazine, Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin and so on.
Never take idiots like me seriously. (This will be especially helpful if I decide to post a particularly emotional tirade about some minor disappointment I've had in my life and can't think first before I post.) This rule also applies to people who've set up whole clubs that take about how "Wilerd Owl Snocks" or what ever.
Never repeat yourself.
NEVER repeat yourself.
Always be "Unencumbered by the Thought Processes" (as per the Car Talk guys)

Well, there we have it. I'm certain that if you simply abide by these simple, yet insistent "guidelines", (Well, they're more like "commands". Well, actually like "COMMANDMENTS".) your acne will clear up, you will be popular, you'll get a record deal with a major label and be like Britney Spears or N'Sync, you will have no more troubles and worries in your life and you will marry Weird Al* or become his new best friend.

Thank you.

Betsy Manning
High Priestess in the Yankovian Cabalistic Reformed Church
Founder of "Weird Al's" STUPID Club.

*Obviously, Suzanne is the ONLY one who followed these rules properly! People, it would behoove you to pay attention!

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Copyright 2001 Betsy Manning. Copyrights for contributions revert to the authors.
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This is a Weird Al Fan run Web. It is independent (and goofy) and not affiliated with or endorsed by Al Yankovic, his associates, partners or pets. We are just his Stupid Fans and we love him lots! :) So don't blame Al for anything WE say or do. It's just NOT his fault!
Stupid Web Mufti: [Betsy Manning].
Last updated: February 21, 2002.

Contributors to this site include all the wonderful members of Weird Al's Stupid Club. I love you all! Thank you!