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How Computers Hate | 4.16.03 Ok, i know my computer hates me, and here are some of the warning signs that you should know. You know your computer hates you if: 1. You don't do anything to it and it freezes 2. You do something to it and it freezes 3. You do anything to it and it freezes 4. When clicking start a message says "Error: You Suck" 5. It won't shut down 6. It won't start up 7. It saves to an unknown place that you'll never find 8. It talks to you when there is an error 9. You get the blue screen 10. ctrl alt delete doesn't work 11. Shutting down restarts the computer, restart puts the computer to standby 12. It automatically logs you off of AIM 2 seconds after you log on 13. It starts beeping at you 14. it tells you that d/ling takes only 3 min and 4 hours later its saying 2 min left 15. your printer prints symbols instead of letters 16. it refuses to save that 6 hour 15 page research paper 17. it tells you to die and go to hell 18. strange little paperclips keep spawning on your monitor even after you fixed the prefrences thing 19. Your cable modem is slower than a 56k modem 20. the monitor shuts off for no reason 21. The speakers won't play anything except static, and when it does play something it's a loud sustained beep 22. It gives you unhelpful hints such as, "always put www infront of the address" when you're playing pac man on your pc 23. clicking on the floppy drive icon coresponds to your printer 24. it tells you to put floppy disks in the cd drive 25. it dials up to the internet when you have cable 26. It won't run a game like tetris because there is not enough gfx memory in your 32 meg gfx card(normal gfx cards have only 16 megs) 27. no matter what you type it'll always come out as binary. 28. the brightness settings are as high as they go and yet the computer screen is barely see-able 29. It won't eject your disk 30. your cd burner is always burning something even if a cd is not in that drive 31. after calling matenence on your computer, it crashes right after the person leaves, or hangs up. 32. Your monitor, drive, cpu, or gfx card explodes 33. It d/l to an unknown folder 34. Your mouse always moves to the left even when your hand is not on it 35. you play a game and your about 2 min from winning and the computer shuts down (this one happens to me alot >.<) 36. It giggles at you after its shut down, while your screeming "NOOOOO" at the loss of something important 37. The windows user friendly guide says, "no results showed in your search" when you type in anything 38. You realize that you have written 38 reasons and all of them valid. Ok, all i can think of right now. lol, till next time - Wei |
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