A Headset Drama

A Headset Drama

Written April-June, 2004
by Kat Lai

Based loosely on personal experience. Please read the disclaimer before continuing.

Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 6

Scene 3: End of Act I.

(Action continues on stage. Sudden sounds of a microphone getting knocked around threaten to deafen all the offstage crew.)
SM: Ow! Who's doing that?

LX: Crap! Stop it! Stop!

SQ: Paul!! If you do that again...

SL: It's not me! Not everything is my fault around here, you know.

SR: Sorry, guys. That was me. I dropped my headset putting it back on.

SM: For the love of pete, people, turn off the freaking mikes when you take off the set.

LX: Seriously, girl. I like my eardrums the way they are!

SR: Sorry. Won't happen again.

SM: Okay, where were we... ah yes. Lights, you have a cue coming up. Standby.

LX: Standing by, cap'n.

(Onstage, Lisa and Jeannie are winding up a scene. Jeannie exits stage right. Lisa turns to exit.)

SM: Okay... Lights 10...

SL: Wait! Lisa...!

(blackout on stage)

SM: go. Oh, shit! Shit, shit, shit! Lisa had to do that thing! Crap! I never get that right.
SL: Ummm... Lisa's off.

SR: Tommy's gone. He should be in place.

SM: Okay. Lights 11, go.

(Lights come up for next scene with Tommy on stage.

(Lisa approaches Paul, mouthing or gesticulating huge comical "what the hell?" Paul shrugs, whispers, "Sorry!" Lisa whispers to Paul, and walks off laughing quietly.)

SL: Heh. Lisa said that she's gonna kick your ass at intermission.

SM: I'll go down personally and offer my ass and a match. Damn! (writing in big letters in script) Okay, big note in my script. And nod and smile to Michael later. Okay, this is last scene before intermission, am I right?

SR: Yup!

SM: Awesome! I need a break.

SR: You're doing fine, Rich.

SM: Oookay, c'mon.... hurry up, Tommy. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Brilliant! Okay, Lights, cue 12 standby.
LX: Standing by.

SM: God, the man is wankin' tonight. Come on! Yes! Lights, go! Stage Left, tell me...

SL: Tommy is off.

SR: As is Helen.

SM: Awesome. House lights up. Great! Okay, you all know your routines, right?

SL: Clean up stage area, verify my props and preset the next scene. Stage Left is off.

SR: I got helping Paul out, verifying my props and doing time checks.

SQ: And Heather and me will keep our seats warm for fifteen minutes.

LX: Speak for yourself, Phil. Mother Nature is calling this chick, and the woman don't take no for an answer.
SM: Good. Meanwhile, I have my head on a platter to offer to Lisa, so if you'll excuse me. Back in ten, all of you!

SR: Stage Right off.

LX: Aye, chief.

SQ: Wait, Heather! What's a five letter word for...

SM: Headset off, Phil.

SQ: Oh, right. See you in ten.
Continue to Scene Four

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