A Headset Drama

A Headset Drama

Written April-June, 2004
by Kat Lai

Based loosely on personal experience. Please read the disclaimer before continuing.

Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 6

Scene 5: More Act II Hell

(Action continues onstage. Lisa is now with Jonathan and Tommy. Tommy and Lisa are arguing, while Jonathan tries to calm both parties down.)

SM: Sound 20, stand by.

SQ: Standing by.

(Argument reaches a peak. Tommy grabs Lisa and shoves her violently then turns and exits SR. Lisa propels backwards towards Jonathan who is supposed to catch her,but Jonathan is about six inches left of where he is supposed to be standing. He misses and Lisa falls backwards onto the ground, smacking her head with an audible crack.)

SM: My God.

SQ: Ow...

LX: Damn...

SL: What happened?

SM: Shhh! Sound go.

(Thunder sounds.)

SM: Lights 23 and Sound 21, stand by.

LX: Standing by.

(Jonathan goes to Lisa and helps her up. Lisa is not looking very good, but she's rallying and continuing her scene.)

SM: Lights and Sound, go.

(Lightning on stage, followed by sounds of rain. Action continues.)

SM: Stage Left, when Lisa comes off, make sure that she's okay.

SL: Roger that.

SM: And better get some cold compresses, and a bucket. Hurry too, okay? Shit. She's not looking good.

SL: Gotcha. Stage Left off.

(SL turns off his mike, takes off his headset and runs out.)

SR: What happened?

SM: Jon messed up his blocking.
LX: Again.

SM: Yeah, only this time, he wasn't in place to catch Lisa when she falls. You know how much trust she puts in him for that. She really threw herself at him.

SR: Oh no...

SM: Yeah, she hit the stage pretty hard, and looks like she has a concussion.

LX: Man, that girl needs to learn some serious stage falling. I mean, there's controlled ways of doing things, right?
SQ: Well, first night jitters can do that to you, I guess.

SM: Sound 22 and Lights 24, stand by.

SQ: Standing by.

LX: Ditto.

(SL returns with a bucket and some wet face cloths.)

SM: .... Okay, both of you, go. Lights 25, stand by.

LX: Standing by.

(Action on stage has frozen, as for the end of a scene. Loud thunder, and lights fade to black. Lisa and Jonathan exit stage left, Jonathan supporting Lisa. Jones enters stage right.)

SR: Jones is in place, and Helen is standing by.

SM: Thanks. Lights 25, go.

(Action continues onstage. Helen enters stage right. SL takes Lisa from Jonathan, offers her his chair. Lisa sits, holding her head in her hands. She begins heaving, and SL quickly gives her the bucket. She begins throwing up.)

SM: Stage Left, please let us know how she's doing.

SL: (turns on mike and grabs headset while trying to hold Lisa's head.) Uh, she's not good. I'm going to take her back to the dressing room to lie down and call a doctor.

SM: Shit. Do you have help back there? Besides actors, I mean.

SL: Uh, yeah, I think so. Laura the props lady is back here somewhere.

SM: Okay good. Keep us updated.

SL: Will do. Stage Left off.

SM: Goddamn Jonathan. We're going to have words about blocking after the show. Lisa's got one more scene before the end of the show. We may have to find a replacement. Shit. Uh, Jen?

SR: Yeah?
SM: You know the script better than anyone here. If Lisa can't go on, can you do it?

SR: Uh, well...I...I'll do what I can.

SM: Thanks. After the next scene starts, go see what you can throw together, okay? Now, where are we... oh, there we are.

(Silence on headset as action continues on stage.)

SM: Okay, Lights 26, stand by.

LX: Standing by.

SM: ... Aaaaaaaand.... Lights go. Lights 27, stand by.

LX: Yep.

(Black out on stage.)

SR: Okay, Tommy, Helen and Jones have exited. And Jeannie's... in place. Stage Right off.

(SR takes off her set and goes off.)

SM: Thanks. Lights go.

(Lights up on Jeannie. Jones enters SL. Action continues onstage.)

SM: (makes a note in his notebook.) Crap, I really have to have a word with Michael about this too. We have no understudies. If Lisa's really down for the count, we're really screwed.

SQ: Everything will be fine. Don't worry, Rich.

SM: Yeah, I know, but this could cancel the run unless Michael has any ideas. I mean, Jen's been to a lot of rehearsals, and she's not a bad actor, but she's never done the part. This could be a fiasco.

(SR comes back looking relieved.)

SR: Stage Right on. Lisa says she's okay to finish.

SM: Is she sure?

SR: Yeah, she's looking a bit white still, but she seems to be doing better.

SM: Oh, thank God! Tell her to take it easy, okay?

SR: Paul's already taken care of that. Tommy just came back to apologize too. She'll be okay.

SM: We got lucky this time. (Writes in notebook.) Notes to everyone in that scene. This cannot happen again. God, I can't wait until this show is over.

SR: Well, there's only about four scenes left.

SM: Yeah, thank God. Okay, stand by Lights 28.
LX: Standing by.

SM: Lights go. (flips page)Stage Right, tell me when Helen is on.

SR: Uh, Helen? That's not this scene. This is Jonathan and Tommy.

SM: No, it's Helen doing her big monologue at Jones. I can't go up until she's on.

SR: No, that's the NEXT scene! This is Jonathan confronting Tommy about his shitty treatment of Lisa! They can't come on until the lights are up!

SQ: Page 125, Rich.
SM: What? But... oh shit! You're right. Lights, go, go, go!

LX: I'm going, I'm going!

SM: God, I turned two pages instead of one. I'm so sorry, guys! Shit, Michael will have my head for this.

SQ: If Michael's going to take your head for a small delay between scenes, he'd have to have something seriously wrong with him.

LX: Besides the shit he already has wrong with him.

SM: Yeah, but I don't usually do this. I mean...

SR: It happens, Richard. Don't worry about it.

SM: Man, this whole thing with Lisa's got me totally off my game. I'm sorry, guys. Jen, do you know what the situation is there now?

SR: Well, Lisa was practically shooing people out of the dressing room when I got there, assuring everyone she's fine and everything, so I think she'll be okay. A little unsteady on her feet, but whatever. Paul's going to walk up with her when she's ready just to make sure she doesn't pass out or anything. They should be back soon.

SM: That's good to hear.
LX: Wow... Paul's really pulling his weight here. I'm impressed.

SQ: Yeah, I guess he's not just the talky little spaz we all thought he was.

SM: Well, I'm buying him a round tonight after the show. He really came through for me here. I never would have thought that Paul had it in him to be responsible, but I guess sometimes, a person can really suprise you once you put them in a tough spot.

(Through all of this, SL comes to stage right with Lisa. He pulls a chair out to sit her down, hands her a compress and returns to his seat at stage left.)

SL: Stage left is back. Lisa's good to go on stage right.

SM: Great. Thanks, Paul.

SL: Man, it sucks that she hit her head and all? But it was totally worth it. Having that luscious chick clasped helpless in my arms for five minutes, being her knight in shining armour, I mean, okay, she was puking which means I'm not getting laid anytime soon, but still...

LX: So much for surprising us.

SL: What? I was just...

SR: Paul, do us all a favour and shut up, okay?

SQ: Yeah, you'd do a lot better to just not open your mouth sometimes, you know?

SL: Well, I...

SM: Stage Right, is Helen good to go?

SR: Yes, she is, Richard. And Lisa's standing by.

SM: Thanks. Lights 29 and Sound 23, standby.

LX: Standing by.

SQ: Standing by.

SM: Go.

(Blackout onstage, and scene change music.)

SM: Standby, Lights 30 and Sound 24.

LX: Standing by.

SQ: Standing by.

SR: Helen has left and she is in place... now.

SM: Go.

(Music fades and lights come up.)

SM: Paul, any more talk like that, and I am going to write you up for harassment or something with the producers, okay?
SL: Look, I was just trying to make a joke. If you can't...

SM: Paul.

SL: Okay, fine. I'm sorry. Won't happen again.

SM: And you owe an apology to Jen and Heather, I believe.

SL: Yeah, okay. I'm sorry if I offended you ladies. To paraphrase Richard there, I will personally supply you with a lighter and my ass after the show.

SR: No need, Paul. Apology accepted.

LX: I dunno... I'd personally like that lighter myself.
SR: Heather! Come on. Be nice.

LX: Fine, fine. Apology accepted. But if it happens again, I will want that lighter.

SL: Gotcha.

SM: Okay. That takes care of that. Since we're winding down now, people, let's try and concentrate on not having any more screw ups. Yes, Phil, that includes me. Stop with the looks.

SQ: Hey, I ain't doing nothing.

SM: Ha, ha, Phil. I saw the eye rolling. Now then, as I was saying, let's concentrate, okay guys? That means no more talking unless we really need to. Got that? Paul, think you can handle that?

SL: Yes, Mr. Stage Manager, sir.
SR: Okay.

LX: Okay.

SQ: I am on the record as being the least talkative of you bunch, so I am A-ok with it.

SM: Good, now turn off those mikes and let's go. Paul and Jen, keep an eye on Lisa.

SR: Will do.

SL: Okay.

(Silence on headsets as action continues onstage.)
Continue to Scene Six

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