Preventing Teen Pregnancy

Through my own experience and the countless other teens I've spoken to over the years through this site, I believe that the key to preventing teen pregnancy is not in teaching "safe sex". In fact, I think the solution has very little to do with sex or teaching about sex at all. If you want to help empower your teen to wait until later to have children, you need a different approach all together and it has to start from birth.

Support teens in their hobbies and interests. Listen to what they have to say. Be open and honest with them and always strive to keep communication lines open even if they aren't interested. Get your teens to explore life and find meaning within that exploration. Encourage them to surround themselves with people and images that mirror what they want for their lives. The music you listen to, what you watch on tv and who you hang out with do matter. What parents do matters, too.

Sex (or abstaining from sex) should not be the focus of their lives or relationships. Learning, growing, exploring, these things should take precedence. No matter how many times a person engages in physical sexual acts, they will not understand the significance until they've experienced it within the context of a committed love relationship. They won't be mature enough to experience and develop that until they've developed themselves a little more.

You've probably seen the anti-drug commercials where parents are encouraged to be the "anti-drug". I'm encouraging you to do something similar. Ask questions. You don't want your child hooked on crack because you know it would hurt them and you'd invade their 'personal space' to keep them away from it. Premature sex can be just as devastating as a drug addiction. So ask questions. Be involved. Most importantly - make your life reflect the values that you want your children to have. Teach them to find fulfillment and to create healthy relationships. Sex does not equal love for anyone!

Be educated and educate your teens. Sexuality is an intrinsic part of our identities and it is good and necessary. Unfortunately, many teens have sex before they themselves feel that they were ready. Parents and educators can help prevent that by encouraging teens as individuals to seek their own interests and focus on growing themselves first. Romance is great but despite the hormones, the teen years are about developing emotional maturity through learning and through developing positive relationships. Encourage that and teen pregnancy will drop.

With all this talk of prevention and safer sex and free condoms, people need to understand that pregnancy is not the end of life. Pregnancy is not wrong or bad or horrible. It is an unexpected twist in the road you had planned out for your child, but it is not a tragedy in and of itself. How you handle it as a parent can make all the difference. Children and teens judge themselves through what they perceive their parents' think. Show them that no matter what they can be who they want to be and that includes being a good parent. Despite how some people view teen parents and teen pregnancy, it is not inherently destructive. Teens who have problems as parents had problems before they became pregnant and need the same things that would have empowered them to abstain from premature sexual activity in the first place. They need hope, love, and encouragement. They need to see themselves as someone worthwhile. That's the biggest preventer of teen pregnancy you will ever find because having that view results in responsible choices.

Teen Pregnancy Information Center

Preventing Teen Pregnancy