The very 1st story that I wrote was in December 1989, which is called Killer Queen, which is about a boy named Michael who is growing up in San Francisco who has liberal parents and tells his parents that he wants to start wearing dresses. San Francisco gets hit with an earthquake and Michael's parents are killed. Michael then ends up getting adopted by parents who are fundamentalist born again Christians who make his life Hell because he wants to be a drag queen who force him to move to a town with good wholesome "family values", which is Reaganville, Texas, which got its name to pay tribute to Ronald Reagan after he dies from a brain tumor in his colon. Because Michael refuses to stop being a drag queen, his born again Christian parents have him murdered, but the good news is his lover brings him back from the dead by injecting him with sperm.

      The next story that I wrote was in April 1990 called Fascist Fever, which is about an androgynous 15-year-old gay boy Darren who enjoys listening to music from his favorite band, Shoot my Cream after Amerika becomes a total fascist totalitarian police state in which music with explicit lyrics is banned. Anyway, Shoot my Cream are strong opponents of the fascist Police State and has nasty and explicit lyrics in their music. Darren is devastated when the lead singer of Shoot my Cream Dick Hardon, is murdered by a right wing death squad after being ordered not to use explicit lyrics during a concert. The good news is Dick Hardon comes back from the dead to get even and smashes the state too. The frightening thing about Fascist Fever is this country is getting closer and closer to being like what happened in that story every day and we have gotten several notches closer to it since September 11, 2001.

       Writing stories has changed my life in a lot of ways. I was in New York City in October 1990 when I ran into someone and showed him my Fascist Fever story and he knew someone in New Jersey who as "expert" on writing and he would give the story to Robin. After I got back to Florida, I decided to give Robin a call hoping that he would have told me that he really liked my story. It turns out that he didn't like my story. He told me that I did too much ranting and raving in my story. He also told me that if I wanted to write a story with a "liberal" view saying that the government and society is fascist I should show that the government and society is fascist in my writing and not rant and rave about it. Well, Robin has spent too much time listening to National Public Radio. I felt really bad after Robin told me that he didn't like my story and Oh God, I am really going to have to "lighten up" on my writing style or I just won't get anywhere. Then, I realized that there are some people who really are open minded and cool enough to enjoy hearing my stories with my writing style and I came to the conclusion that if Robin doesn't like me ranting and raving in my stories, he can go fuck himself. Writing changed my life from causing me to not only hate conservatives, but hate so called "liberals" who really don't have an open mind to handle a different way of writing, however to honor Robin, I decided to do even more ranting and raving in my stories!

       The next story I wrote was in April 1991, which is called Skizo-gay-nia, which is about a self righteous gay guy John, who is a conservative ultra right wing born again Christian fascist pig who enjoys beating off to gay porno films, has sex in public bathrooms and smokes a lot of dope, but he is hypocrite who is intolerant of other people who are into sleazy things and John gets offended at other people who talk about sexually explicit things. John gets really pissed off after he realizes that he has been duped by all these fascist assholes, so he starts worshipping Satan and raises up gay demons from Hell.

        The next story I wrote was in October 1991 called Revolting Trash, which is about Greg, who is a gay teen that commits suicide after moving from San Francisco to Florida who leaves a note asking his homophobic fucking asshole he had for a father to do something extremely morbid. You have to read the story to know what that is! Greg is also demands that his ashes to be dropped off the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco after being cremated, or else. Instead, Greg's ashes end up in a landfill in Pompano Beach, Florida in which maggots in the landfill have sex with Greg who ends up getting pregnant who gives birth to maggots who turn into monsters who go out and kill the people who made his life pure Hell. Greg's father always referred to his son as a piece of trash, but after ending up in a landfill Greg discovers that being trash can be a lot of fun. I find it to be very depressing when I hear about gay teens committing suicide, which is why I am glad I wrote a story about a gay teen who comes back from the dead to get even with the fucking assholes who tormented him.

      It took until April 1993, I wrote my next story, which is about Jeff who lives in Minneapolis. Jeff's parents have shit for brains because they are fundamentalist born again Christians and they decide to move to Florida and Jeff gets pissed because he is smart enough to realize that Florida is a fucking cesspool and people who like Florida have shit for brains. After moving to Florida Jeff's father discovers that he doesn't have enough money to pay for insurance to protect his house from a hurricane. Jeff's father is upset about not being able to pay for insurance he decides to drop a few hits of acid. Shortly after dropping acid, Jeff's father has to take a shit and then Pat Robertson starts talking to him and tells Jeff's father that the lord will protect his house from a hurricane if he sends Pat Robertson money. A week after that, Jeff ends up losing everything he has after his house is destroyed after being hit from Hurricane Dick, which then causes him to go off the deep end and become a serial killer.

        In August 1993 I was looking around in the Children's section of a store when I saw a book called Goldilocks and the 3 Bears and I sat there and read the whole story. That book brought back a lot of childhood memories and it made me realize that most children's books are a bunch of fucking bullshit that tells it like it ain't. Reading that caused me to write my own version of Goldilocks and the 3 bears In my version Papa Bear is a repressed closeted homosexual and Goldilocks is a prostitute who even gets diarrhea. There are some people who have called me a sick fuck because I enjoy writing about diarrhea, but people get diarrhea in the real world, so I want to write about people getting diarrhea in my stories, which lead to me writing my next story which is called Enema Heaven in June 1994, which is about Robert who is sick and tired of working for bosses who are assholes who treat him like shit, so he has a dream of opening up his own store, which specializes in the sale of enemas, but he goes off the deep end and becomes a serial killer when his hopes and dreams are destroyed.

      It was in July 1994 that I was finally lucky enough to move out of Florida and the 1st story I wrote after moving to Minneapolis was in February 1995, which is called Romantic Bowel Movements, which is about a nerd who enjoys watching women take a dump. The reason why I wrote that story is to make heterosexuals look weird. Anyway, as I said before, in my previous lifetime, I was Laura Ingalls, so I wrote the stories that I just mentioned to prove that I have changed a bit since I was Laura Ingalls!

    Well, I hope that you went in and read some of these wonderful stories, but in the meantime, let's go back to Pat's 2002 vision of the world page to read more cool stuff!