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The mediator is defined as the neutral third party. And in some books they are plainly referred to as the neutral ones.
In "Mediación, conducción de disputas, comunicación y técnicas" ("Mediation, dispute management, communication and techniques" ), I have dedicated a chapter to the de-construction of this topic; for this reason, I am not going to repeat here what I have already said, just the concept of De-Neutrality that I came up with:
"The mediation process must be carried out so that it should ensure neutrality but at the same time, that it should acknowledge the mediator's involvement in the management of the process. We can no longer talk about neutrality or involvement, but about neutrality and involvement (page 158).
When a concept changes due to its de-construction it is not convenient to keep on using the same word because it creates misunderstandings. So, I suggest making a "graft" -in the sense that Derrida gave to this term- onto the word neutrality and using a new word, that should give an idea of that graft in itself: De-Neutrality, which would take us to the de-construction of neutrality, i.e., to the neutrality and the involvement. This implies leaving behind the monologic of this or that and accepting the double logic or dialogic of this and that at the same time, in the sense that Edgard Morin gives to this term.
That is to say that De-Neutrality is
a dialogic structure."
I have not found an author that would not accept the mediator's involvement in the management of the process.
Moreover, Perry Itkin says that the mediator's task is to be the guardian of the process.
Patrick
Phear (Kolb et al. : "When talking works") says that the parties have
to perceive that he monitors the process. In mediation, he is the orchestra
conductor, the orchestrator of the process. The parties decide upon the
contents; regarding the process in itself, they can choose the violin or
the drums, but either way, if they want to play in the orchestra, they
will have to do it when he tells them to.
No mediator argues his/her function
regarding the process management. When this is lost -e.g., the parties
do not follow the rules set forth in the opening speech, or the mediator
is driven by the parties to having private meetings or to avoiding them,
or the lawyers of the parties become managers, etc.- it is thought to be
a mistake by the mediator. Even in this issue of the process management,
there are great differences among mediators regarding the way of carrying
it out.
But something on which authors do not agree completely and of which we have many different styles -some of them conscious and supported by theory, and others not so conscious-; is the issue of the mediator's involvement in the "contents" and his/her "authority" concerning suggestions, pieces of advice or guidelines.
Neither is there agreement about when a suggestion, piece of advice or guideline could be used and about which conditions or situations should have taken place for a mediator to use some of these tools.
And when reading authors or when watching
mediators work we see that there is not a coincidence either between what
they do and what observers say mediators do.
If in any mediation environment an analysis about De-Neutrality is important, in the case of mediation in disputes in families, it is much more important, since all mediators, in one way or other, have ideas, experiences and assumptions about what a family is or should be; about its members' roles, about values, etc. And many of these ideas have not been analyzed. In one way or other we are all -or we all think we are- experts in family. The topics that are dealt with: when to see the children, what expenses are needed for their upbringing, etc., they are all topics we know.
The mediator's own history, his/her
belonging to a gender, class or race play an important role and they cannot
avoid it. One way to avoid doing something we do not want to do in our
work as mediators is to keep in mind:
Our function is neither an apostolate, nor a commitment of loyalty to an ideal kind of family, but a way of helping so that within the kind of family the members want, they could see the obstacles that do not allow them to achieve that kind and, if possible, create alternatives to try and remove them.
Another theme that has to do with
De-Neutrality is how far and in what way the mediator intervenes and gets
involved in order to modify the "Relationship".
In certain mediations (work, community and/or family) we cannot overlook this theme, but it is not clear and there is no agreement about the extent to which we should be interested in it. In the case of mediations in disputes in families, above all, it is important to analize how, when and why, because when we work on the Relationship, the borders with family therapy start to get blurry.
In the case of mediations in "family businesses", coherences and incoherences between family Relationship and business Relationship become a central issue.
Suggestions, pieces of advice and guidelines
belong not only to the contents but also to the field of Relationship.
The different kinds of original professions of mediators make them more or less keen on being involved in the Relationship (in the case of psychologists and social workers) and on seeking changes on this field leaving aside the agreement; or in the contents (lawyers) without paying much attention to the Relationship and focusing on achieving a settlement.
Also, the different models of mediation
that are being used in the USA have been divided into: those focused on
the agreement and those focused on the Relationship (Traditional model
and Transformative model, respectively).
The mediator's De-Neutrality in disputes in families is being more debated and it is more difficult to put it into practice than in other kinds of mediations.
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