| Pseudonym: | John 5 Impersonator | |
| Real Name: | John Lowery Impersonator | |
| Age: | Twenty-three | |
| Birthplace: | Mount Dora | |
| Instrument: | Guitar, programming. | Hobbies: | Audio engineering, writing music, headbanging, auto-eroticism, playing Paperboy, getting tattooed, photo shoots. |
| Quotes: | "I don't do pitifully predictable guitar solos." | |
| "Why do girls love horses?" | ||
| "I wanna open a chicken franchise . . . I'll give you more cash than Stevie Wonder has eyes." | ||
| Influences: | Van Halen, Jim Thirwell, Daniel Ash, Poison, Gary Numan, Anal Cunt, Pantera, Elvis Presley, Leætherstrip, k.d. lang, Twisted Sister, Electric Hellfire Club. | |
| Background: | In 1998, Marilyn Manson Impersonator's Lonely Hearts Club Band decided that a change was necessary. Having recently fired their guitarist, Zim Zum Impersonator, the band's members were looking for a replacement that could help them forge an entirely new musical path - remniscent of the attitude expressed by Marilyn Manson during this same time period. Auditions proved to be futile, though, as none of the young hopefuls had the creative spark necessary to be a member of M.M.I.'s band. Tired and vexed, the band retired to a local bar, hoping to drink until the day's events had been totally erased from their minds. They quickly found, however, that they would not be able to relax, as the small band playing in the corner of the bar was slowly grating on all of their nerves. The bar band, a cover group called "Bela Ska-gosi's Dead" that reworked old Bauhaus songs into terrible ska tunes, was acting very rowdy and insulting patrons. M.M.I. was finally unable to put up with the awful cacophony coming from the corner of the bar and stood up to do something. The lead singer/guitarist of the band began a mocking cover of "Double Dare" as M.M.I. approached him. When M.M.I. politely asked the band to quiet down, the singer/guitarist laughed derisively and spit on M.M.I. Since the Marilyn Manson Impersonator will not abide people spitting on him (unless it's in concert), he retaliated by grabbing the singer/guitarist's mic stand and throwing it at the drummer. As crimson fluid spilled from the unconscious drummer's head onto the barroom floor, the singer/guitarist nodded to himself, very impressed by M.M.I.'s aim. The two shook hands and M.M.I. asked the singer/guitarist to join Marilyn Manson Impersonator's Lonely Hearts Club Band. The man who was to become the John 5 Impersonator shrugged, silently agreeing. This did not sit well with the other members of Bela Ska-gosi's Dead, who immediately attacked M.M.I. An old-fashioned bar brawl quickly broke out and fists flew everywhere. As M.M.I. and his newly-appointed guitarist were wheeled out of the bar on separate stretchers, they painfully turned their heads toward each other and each managed to work his face into a twisted smile. Ever since that night in the hospital, J.5.I. has been the electrifying guitarist for M.M.I.'s band, bringing a cleaner sound and a more improvisational style to their live performances. |
| G.F.I. | M.M.I. | M.W.G.I. | T.R.I. | J.5.I. |
| D.B.I. | G.G.I. | S.L.L.I. | Z.Z.I. |