For the love of Grace

16-17-12-98

Devonport Baptist Church

22nd December 1998

Song “Tears in Heaven” as family enters Church

Pastor Bill Magor  “Beloved the scripture says, “The Lord’s true love is surely not
spent, nor has His compassion failed; they are new every morning, so great is his
constancy”
We also read, “Cast your burden on the Lord, and He will sustain you.”

Prayer: “Lord, help us to believe your Word and to trust your love.  Help us to cast
our burdens upon You and to be sustained by You.”

The Lord’s Prayer (The Our Father)

Introductory remarks

Dear friends, there are two words in the English language that best summarise the
fullness of our feelings this morning as we contemplate the death of dear little Grace
Brianna Carter.

The first is the word ‘pain’ and the second is the word ‘love’.  We feel the first so
much because the second is so real.  Other words may also be used today to try to
express first of all how we feel, and also what we think or would like to think as we try
to make sense of what has happened - but the underlying twin motifs are ‘pain’ and
‘love’.

We grieve the most the passing of the young.  If the old depart, we recognise a natural
change, as when the sunset dissolves into the dusk and the stars come out in the
deepening blue.  But the death of a little one shocks us as if the morning were suddenly
overcast and the day suffered a dreadful eclipse.

This very grief is a token that death cannot take from us the most precious of our
treasures - namely love.  It is the tear of love that flows the fullest, the pain of love that
aches the deepest, the thoughts of love that move most actively.  Other passions have
their tears and pains; but none are so keen in their sense of; loss as is love.  For love is
the very essence of the human heart, and love is God-given.  When we are deprived of
the child we love our inner soul seems rent in two, and life is only part of what it was.

Of course those who are hurting the most are our friends Theresa and Rodney - and
along with them Shirley and Gilbert, and Betty - and of course we cannot overlook the
profound disappointment of brother Zachary.  It is they who have loved the most and
so now are hurting the most.  But there are also the wider Evans and Carter families -
those loving Aunts and Uncles and cousins and many more.

Thank you all so much for coming.  Just your presence here speaks volumes to those
who lost a precious little member of the family.  Please would you be sure to sign the
attendance register if you have not already done so, and also I warmly invite you all to
return to the hall at the rear of the church for light refreshments immediately after the
graveside service.

I know you understand Theresa and Rodney, how much we are all feeling for you.  We
wish we could take the pain away, but we couldn’t do that without taking the love
away.

Poem “Heartache” - read by Nick

The hurt is almost unbearable-
Yet we will live through it.
It is because we now feel such
Deep pain,
It is because the inner ache is so great,
That we realise how much we loved her.
And yet the agony inside
Gives us a strange comfort.
It tells us how much we loved her.
We really would not want to feel any other way
Because the grief and heartache we feel
Bears witness to the depth of our love
We know that thoughts of her will forever bring us comfort.

Furthur remarks

Like many of you, when I first heard the news of Grace’s death I shed some tears for
her parents and grand-parents.  On Saturday morning I turned to the Personals page in
the paper and looked for the name Carter.  And this is what I found, “Carter (nee
Evans) - Rodney and Theresa celebrate the arrival of Zachary’s sister Grace Brianna 1
lb., 13 and 1/2 oz. (838gm)  with us for 32 precious hours.  Special thanks to staff of
MCH, air ambulance and QAH.”


The very first thing Rodney and Theresa wanted the world to know was that tiny
Grace Brianna had lived.  They wanted to celebrate her birth and they wanted to give
thanks to all those who helped Theresa bring her safely to birth.

I must say that over these last three or four days I have been profoundly impressed by
Theresa and Rodney’s sense of balance, of proportion, and of reality - and especially
their extraordinary courage and faith.  In all the depths of their disappointment and
sorrow they have wanted to acknowledge, and indeed celebrate, God’s gift of life to
their precious daughter Grace Brianna, and also to express thanks for the assistance of
so many people.

And then in the death notice Grace was referred to as a “treasured niece”, followed by
the statement that “it was better to have loved and lost you Gracie than never to have
loved you at all’  And I know that is preciously what the whole family is feeling - a
deep sense of loss, of pain, and of hurt, but an even deeper sense of love.

Yes, how much Theresa and Rodney have loved Grace with her beautiful and perfectly
formed face, and with her tiny moving hands and kicking feet.  For a few precious
hours their hopes that she might survive rose.  Then, as this dear little child’s condition
grew worse, as Theresa said to me on Sunday, she prayed that God would do what
was best for Grace and not what she herself wanted.  She quite willingly and
deliberately yielded Grace Brianna to God’s care - and did Rodney.

Then Theresa said to me that she was sure God’s heart was breaking to see her in so
much pain, but He had to do what was best for Grace.

She said “It pains us.  But it also pains Him.”

What a profound statement!  Hurt and love!  Perfectly combined in him who the
apostle John declared is Love.  Yes John declared, “God is love”

And don’t we see that in the life of Jesus, ‘God with us”, whose coming w celebrate in
three day’s time?  He went about doing good, not harm.  He went about healing, not
hurting.  He went about loving, not hating.  He went about comforting, not
condemning - except those who had hardened their hearts towards those entrusted in
his care.

Let us now hear what Jesus himself said about little ones.

Mark 10:13-16

We know that Grace is now safe with Jesus in the special place He has prepared for
her.  We also know that it is Theresa and Rodney’s desire to celebrate her continuing
life in God.

Someone has said, “If you want to see what God is like, have a good hard look at
Jesus.”

Yes, there are many unanswered questions, indeed there are many unanswerable
questions - there is so much hurt - but there is also so much love for those who will
seek it.

In all her grief Theresa went on to suggest that in situations like this we can all learn to
appreciate more the gift of our lives, and also the lives of others, and there is so much
good to be gleaned from it all - such as to love and care for our children with a greater
sense that they are precious gifts entrusted by God to us for a time - such as to grow in
our relationship with God and t learn to trust Him and to rely on him more - and such
as to seek His presence and His wisdom and especially His love more and more in all
our relationships and decision-making.

None of that of course takes away one slightest bit from the pain of this great loss.
But the pain somehow seems to be more worthwhile when you realise just how much
you loved - and also how much you are loved.

Beloved, from all that I have just been sharing with you, you will have some insight
into why Theresa and Rodney named their little girl Grace.  They have a little insight
into God’s grace and they wanted to recognise that and speak of her as God’s gracious
gift to them.  And how many lives this tiny child has already touched!  When you come
to thin of it, she has touched the lives of dozens of people who have been there for this
little family this past week.  And she has touched all our lives.

Hymn “Amazing Grace” - verse 1 solo by Gaye Kelly

It is good for us to keep God  in focus as sharply as we can.  May we keep clearly in
mind the words Jesus that we shared a few minutes ago.  And may we not forget
God’s amazing grace as we are privileged now to draw close and listen in.

A letter for Grace, by Theresa and Rodney - read by Pastor Steve Lenon.

“To our dear little girl, words are so hard to find, there is so much we want to tell
you.  So much we want to have done with you.  So many kisses and cuddles we should
have shared.  We had you for such  shortime - not long enough to tell you how much
we love you.  We will never do all the things we had planned on earth.  We thank God
for your life for it is better to have had you for a few hours then never to have had
you at all.  We’ll never forget when we saw you first, we thought that our hearts would
burst with the love that we have.  Look down from heaven little one and send your
love shining on Zachary, he so wanted to be a big brother.  You are so loved and
wanted by everyone and in your short life touched so many people.  You will always
be a part of us and we know that you are near.  So now we give you back to God with
a prayer for Him to keep you safe until we meet again.

We love you Princess

                                                                   Mummy and Daddy
                                                                    xoxoxoxoxoxoxox”

Poem read by Judy

In our baby we should see
A beautiful little memory
For stars will shine and birds shall sing
Of our babe so young
For she is weak, we shall not weep
She returns for guided love
In our hearts, we will see her above
Bring down her true love.

Our little angel wings on high
Brings to us her lullaby
A perfect world, a perfect love
Comes to us from above
SSH now, don’t you cry
In a word and in a sigh
She brings to you her lullaby.

To you I bring from within
The strength you have to walk right in
You shall see my little grin
Know that I am safe from harm
I am resting in God’s arms.

Reflection song, “Gone to Soon”

Brief prayers of thanksgiving and petition.

The blessing

“May the God of peace, which is beyond our utmost understanding and of far more
worth than human reasoning, keep guard over our hearts and thoughts.  And may God
who is love continue to be with you and sustain you in all your pain.”

Song “How can I live” as family leaves the church

AT THE GRAVESIDE, MERSEY VALE

Prayer

“Living God, loving Father, be with us to give us the courage and hope of your
promises.  You have invited us it unload our burdens on to you because you will
support us : fulfill that promise now.

“Go with us on our way as we pay these last offices of love, and assure us again that
you are our home, and that underneath are the everlasting arms.

“So we shall leave the one we love in your keeping, believing that you are bringing her
and us to undying love with Jesus Christ our Lord.

“Father in heaven, healer of broken hearts, we ask you to look in pity and compassion
on your servants whose joy has been turned into mourning.  Comfort them and grant
that they may be drawn closer by their common sorrow.  Dwell with them and be their
refuge until the day breaks and the shadows flee away; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.”

Reading: Psalm 139:1-2

Reading: Matthew 18:5,10,14

“Whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name, welcomes me.”

“See that you do not look down on one of these little ones.  For I tell you that their
angels in Heaven always see the face of my Father in Heaven.”

“Your Father in Heaven is not willing that any of these little ones be lost.”


A Vision of the Eternal City: Zechariah 8:5; Revelation 21:4

“The streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in its streets... God
himself will be with them; He will wipe away every tear  from their eyes, and death
shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for
the former things have passed away.”

Prayer

“Heavenly Father, You have given us life and in Jesus you promise new life which
nothing can destroy.  We entrust Grace Brianna Carter into your loving care: greet her
with your love and surround her with your healing power, that she may live in your
presence as a whole child of God, for your glory and delight; through Jesus Christ our
Lord.


“Almighty God, You make nothing in vain, and love all that you have made.  Comfort
these children in their sorrow, and console them by the knowledge of your unfailing
love; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen”

Words of Committal

“Forasmuch as it has pleased Almighty God of His great mercy to receive unto Himself
the soul of this dear here departed: we therefore commit her body to the ground, earth
to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the resurrection to
eternal life, through our Lord Jesus Christ; who shall change our earthly body, that it
may be like His glorious body, according to the mighty working, whereby He is able to
subdue all things to Himself.”

Prayer of Release, by Theresa and Rodney - read by Pastor Steve Lenon

“Dear Lord, we ask you to take Grace with You now and to keep her safe until we
meet again.  So many people loved and wanted her and with these balloons we send
our love to her for eternity.  Out of reach but never far from our hearts. Amen.”

The Grace

“The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the
Holy Spirit be with you all, now and evermore.  Amen.”

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