This is the first sequel from Universal for the Karloff picture THE MUMMY, though none of the characters return, nor do any of the creative talent of the first film... so it's a sequel in the way that THE CURSE II is a sequel: name only. Actually, come to think of it, it's more of a remake, so it's more a sequel in the way that CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH PART 2's a sequel, or EVIL DEAD 2. This time, the title role is played by reknowned cowboy actor Tom Tyler. Why the creators thought a cowboy would make a good mummy confuses me, though I guess anyone can wrap up in old bandages and shuffle a little.

Our film begins with an old dude who says he's the High Priest of Karnak. He's on the verge of dying,so he calls forth his son to take his place. Sitting junior (who's like 47) down by the old smoke pot (though not to actually smoke pot), the old fart shows him a flashback, ala the misty jacuzzi scene of THE MUMMY. Now that I mention it, it's almost the same flashback too! That would make sense, since it's 90% stock footage from the other movie's flashback, only this time with a couple of changes. The priest with his heart in the right place but his law abiding morals in the wrong place, Immy, is now known as Kharis, Princess Anck is now Princess Ananka, and the Scroll of Thoth has been replaced by the magical Tana leaves... in this country they're called "pot leaves", heh heh. This last replacement is a good thing actually, because now I don't have to be disturbed by the Scroll of Thoth's uncanny durability, despite being a 4000 year old piece of dried up papyrus... Once again the priest steals the ressurective power of the Godz (this time the Tana leaves), and once again he's discovered before the act can be done. He's also buried alive, but his fellow priests of Karnak dig him up and ship him over to a nearby mountain. For the next few millenia the priesthood keeps the ghoul alive with the sacred Tana leaves, giving him just enough to keep his heart beating and his body from rotting to dust. The current old guy is the last of the priests, so now he must pass the secrets on to his son and keep the tradition alive. Why keep the corpse alive? Well, in the case of the discovery of Princess Ananka's tomb by raiders (or in this case American archaeologists), ol' Kharis is to be awakened (with NINE Tana leaves) to wreak some dusty vengeance. After relaying the story and making the son take the oath of the High Priest, somebody finally turns the lights out on the old man... literally.

Meanwhile, in Cairo, two bumbling Brooklyners named Steve and "Babe" (and yes, he is portly and full of bacon) are out-of-work archaeologists looking for their next big discovery. Actually, I think Steve's the archaeologist and Babe is just his comedy relief and occasional love machine. Steve, using his dirt-digger's intuition, purchases a broken clay pot off a Cairo street vendor, who claims it's very rare and valuable. $75 later, Steve is the proud new owner of a broken pot. He takes it to the Cairo Museum in hopes of getting help with translating the hieroglyphics on what's left of the "artifact". We the audience realize that the bullshit on the pot is actually directions to the resting place of Kharis... guess those priests of Karnak guys don't really understand the concept behind keep ing their damn mouths shut when it comes to secrets. The museum's curator says it's a bunch of nonsense (which we'd expect him to say, since he's that new High Priest guy), "accidentally" breaks the pot, and sends Steve and Babe on their way... possibly to a sheep herding competition. undaunted by the curator's snobbish remarks and belittling, as well as the knowledge that two other search parties have already disappeared in that area, Steve stands stalwart on the idea of conducting a dig. The only real problem now is, how will they fund it?

While getting pissed in a Cairo bar and swindling a few local boozers, Steve and Babe meet their new source of income: the Great Solvani, a "magician", also from Brooklyn. After getting Sol(vani) drunk too, the boys unveil their planned dig to him, and he gladly fronts the cash after hearing the promise of gold, jewels, and all sorts of Egyptian crap. After he staggers home sloshed, his daughter Marta (I feel there should be an 'h' in there somewhere) learns of his wasteful spending, locks the old guy in a suitcase, and goes off to Steve and Babe's hotel room to recover the cash using a fake gun to rob them. They outsmart her and grab the gun, then tell her they already spent the cash on supplies and workers... they had it 20 fucking minutes and they spent it all already?! Steve's so full of shit. They convince Marta that they're sincere in their quest for the Princess's tomb and all it's riches, so she goes along too, to keep an eye on everything and make sure her dad doesn't get ripped off. For those of us watching, we also know that she's gonna wind up being Steve's love interest. Why not Babe? Well, like I said, he's the comic relief, he never gets the girl. Besides, he's got some Poop waiting for him back in the states...

The next morning they head out to the dig site and start poking around. They blow up half the mountainside and discover the cursed door to Kharis's resting place. They of course think it's the entrance to Ananka's tomb and crack it open to explore inside. Boy are they disappointed though, when they find no gold or jewels inside, just the mummified Kharis. But, they do get an extra horrifying surprise when they discover the monster's heart is still beating... spooky. Despite the fact that Ananka's tomb has still yet to be violated, the High Priest decides it's time to raise the mummy and send it out to kill people. Jeezus, just like a kid with fireworks. He can't wait till the 4th of July, so he sets 'em off in mid-October. Not only does he blow off his left hand but he also gets into a lot of trouble... this is a different scenario with different results, but you get the idea. It's not long before the ressurected leathery faced cowboy is back up and shuffling like there's no tomorrow, strangling members of the party left and right... with his HAND no doubt. Like Michael Myers's grandfather, the monster, in spite of his slow movement, manages to capture and kill several perfectly able bodied people, no matter how much they DON'T try to escape... so that WASN'T an invention of '80s cinema? Wow, guess history does teach us new and amazing things! Or perhaps ol' Kharis just uses Nike bandages...

When he finally works his way through the second string performers and the extras, Kharis meets up with Marta. Instead of strangling her like all the guys, Kharis instead swoops her off her fainted feet and carries her off to Ananka's tomb FRANKENSTEIN style, where the High Priest hopes to make her his new eternal bride. After Kharis shuffles back to work to finish off Steve and Babe, Mr. Priest reveals that he and Marta will drink a lot of his Tana leaf strange brew and they shall be together forever. Ok, first of all he just met this chick and he wants to be with her for the rest of time. For all he knows she could be a bitch, a gold-digger, or *gasp* a she-male! Aside from this point, she doesn't even like the creepy weirdo, so unless he spikes that juice with a heavy dose of spanish fly, I don't think his chances with her are gonna get any better. Like good NYC boys, Steve and Babe decide it's time to solve their problem like all New Yorkers: get out the guns. The Priest and Babe have a Texas showdown, with the guy in the robe getting the worst of the disagreement, and after the heroes fill the mummified Kharis full of holes, they torch him. End of story, everyone lives happily ever after.

THE MUMMY'S HAND contains far more humor than the original flick, but if I wanted ABBOT AND COSTELLO MEET THE MUMMY, I would've rented it! On the plus side there's actually enough mummy action for it to warrant the title, unlike the previous film, which only contained about 10 minutes of bandaged action... and it wasn't even really action either. Unfortunately, we get less story here, as it becomes no more diversified than an '80s zombie flick. I do however love some of the direction, like the great shot when Kharis brings Marta into the tomb and the camera works it's way back ot wide pan shot of the entire elaborate set! The soundtrack is deffinitely improved upon from before, working much smoother and without all the harsh cuts and sudden stops. More sequels would follow, all based on the Kharis mummy, but whether or not I bother to watch them is the real mystery... Well, that's the end for me kids, but don't forget the important lesson taught to us by THE MUMMY'S HAND: if you ever run out of liquor, be sure to find the nearest magician. They can tap the body's natural alcohol reserves, like the water inside dessert cacti!

Sequels: THE MUMMY'S TOMB; THE MUMMY'S GHOST; THE MUMMY'S CURSE

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: ABBOT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN or ABBOT AND COSTELLO MEET THE MUMMY