Reviews For Oct. 11- Oct. 17
- ***
How To Nurture A Violent-Free Child
By Peggy Butler
When someone writes in a way of telling me what I should do, I don't listen very well - unless that person talks from experience rather than "shoulds." Then my attention and respect is captured. Certainly there is nothing you've written that isn't common sense; applying that sense is the difficulty, from my perspective. Convince me, please, rather than just telling me.
PJ
- ***
"Pregnant and Proud"
By Lilly Rotunda
When I first read your piece, it reminded me of the rambling ideas I had when pregnant oh so long ago. But now, when I look at it from the point of a piece of writing, I'm unsure which point you are wishing to stress - there are several, with equally strong opinions, but there is no unifying structure. If you added that, I think we could relate more, or think more about, what you are really saying. Guide us a bit more, please.
PJ
- ****
"Just, A Music Teacher"
By Raye McDonald
Oh, Raye, how you captured the busy little minds of children I know! So many times the plans I have for sessions with my students are "foiled" because life enters in.
PJ
- *****
"Does Beauty Matter"
By Raye McDonald
hanks for the reminder! Nothing more can be said.
PJ
- ***
Honeysuckle Summer by MaNdI
I'm not quite sure about this one - it is almost smooth, but a few bumps here and there. Maybe another verse would leave the reader more fulfilled.
Alice in Wordland
- *****
A Friend For Life by
Jennifer Hansen
I think this poem is Extremely well written. I found myself, easily indentifying the feelings in the poem, with a good friend I've made here on the net.
Redjadewitch
- ****
They Danced by Sherry Ermish
Thank you for this heartfelt poem. A tribute to the marriage that you wrote about. I hope to see more submissions from you.
Raye McDonald
- ***
My Angelby Jennifer Hansen
I like the subject and the message but it's a little unclear what you are trying to say. Needs to flow a little smoother.
Jack Mann
- ***
A Friend For Life By Jennifer Hansen
Jennifer, you have a lot of potential. Good subject. Just work on the delivery.
Jack Mann
- *****
Yet Another Attempt To The Question...Why? By R.L. Walker
Well my friend, you did it again. Well done. So much to say, so little time to say it. So much to do, so little time....to do it!
Jack Mann
- *****
Searching By Jan Henry
Jan, I really liked this poem.Good message, well written. You have a real talent.
Jack Mann
- ****
Losing Touch by Jennifer Hansen
A little uneven but stated cleanly- I like the message because I have had the same thoughts for friends of mine.
Jerry Lewellen
- *****
An Eternal Friend By Jennifer Hansen
I took this poem as a religious experience with Jesus as your eternal friend. In that light, it was a little understated, but I thought that made the poem more powerful. If I am off-base about the Jesus part, that is O.K. too; the poem still is good.
Jerry Lewellen
- *****
The Wall By Leisha Arnts
I've been to that Wall, and this work captures the feeling of hopeless helplessness so well i'm crying all over again. If good poetry has the power to evoke emotion, this must be great.
carolle
- *****
I Am Just An Instrument By Alice Bateman
AMEN SISTER!!!!!! You spoke exactly what is in my heart and so beautifully too. God bless you for using your gift to further the work of his kingdom. May God continue to richly bless you all the days of your life.
Leisha
- *****
The Wall By Leisha Arnts
The poem makes you think about all the wars and way did we do it. I think she has what it takes in making people think about the past.
Susan Diffenbaugh
- *****
My Angel By Jennifer Hansen
I liked the story in the poem and the meaning at the end which conveys that someone is watching over you. Good Work.
Derek Bracer
- ****
"The Eaves-Dropper" By James Morford
Clear writing and clear message. Children internalize this kind of pain every day - all over the world. Just another reminder that we should do battle for them to have a better world.
Raye McDonald
- ****
The Last Living Saint By Jack Mann
Jack, thanks for this writing about Mother Teresa. She grabbed reality and ran with it to the finish line. An amazing woman of God.
Raye McDonald
- ****
The WallBy Leisha Arnts
I thought the poem told exactly what most people think when they see that wall with all the names of people who died when they were fighting. The poem just put thoughts down in writing in a poetic way. It was an all around good poem.
Aimee Diffenbaugh
- ***
When Love Dies By Jennifer Hansen
The rhyme scheme seems a little forced; the message is a strong one.
Derek Bracer
- *****
The Owl and the mouse get Names By Jack Mann
I really like all of Jack Mann's poetry submission. He has great insight and the childrens selections are even better. All his work should have at least 5 stars!
Lori
- ****
The Wall By Leisha Arnts
I too have visited this wall and felt similiar feelings, I relate strongly to the emotions expressed.
lisa cosner
- *****
The Bridge At Y2K
By R.L. Walker
Voting is a precious American freedom. In some countries, people stand in line for this right. Thank you for this. As usual, your writing is clear and concise.
Raye McDonald
- *****
Living In A House Trailer
By Jack Mann
This was so funny! But I'm sorry to believe it's true. Just when I was thinking of buying a trailer .
PJ
- *****
Oh To Be A Fish
By Alice Bateman
After I long Friday at work, I felt an extraodinary amount of envy for that little fishy.
This poem shines by using simple words to define a complex feeling that each of us have; some of us on a more day to day basis. The poem is excellent in the way that it can make you feel (even if just for a moment)that longing for a simpler and more satisfying existance. Well done!
F. Pal
- *****
Oh To Be A Fish
By Alice Bateman
Thanks for the smile! I really enjoy the rhythm of this piece; not sing-song in style as many other poems I've read lately.
PJ
- *****
Bright Parrot
By Alice Bateman
I enjoyed this one too, especially the rhythm. None of it was off a beat;; none of it was stretched to make it fit. Just fun and easy to read. Appealing to my ear as well as imagery.
PJ
- ***
Dreamer
By Jan Henry
I was enjoying the idea of your poem, and the rhythm - it flowed nicely. But the rhythm and rhyme ended, throwing me into a wall at the end. Is that what you'd intended? It didn't feel quite right. It felt as if home were not the best place to go, but I don't think that's what you'd intended to convey. Did you want the dreams to end so abruptly and disturbingly?
PJ
- ****
They Danced
By Sherry Ermish
It has some rough edges but I really, really liked the premise.
Charilette Rai Sweeney
- *****
Love Gone
By Jennifer Hansen
A good message- I liked the message and the the images that you presented so clearly. Thank you!!
Mallory Mise
- *****
The Wall
By Leisha Arnts
You gave me chills.
PJ
- *****
The Wall
By Leisha Arnts
I visited the Vietnam Memorial in Washington last year and did not quite understand all of the emotion. I am sure my classmates did not either. After reading this, I ,too, have questions, but you brought out the emotion that I saw.
Mallory
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