Read this and DIE!

Good day my children. I hope you are sitting comfortably on your chairs (or something that is like a chair, maybe a beanbag or some other crazy device) for this magical visit to fairyland. "Fairyland?" I hear you ask. "Shut up and read the goddam story you fool." It all starts on a winters day. Phil was cycling to work on his unicycle made out of nothing but animal parts when he came across a cow. "AAAAH" he whined. He hates cows just like he hates the goddam rainforest.He got off his unicorn and danced his way to the crazy cow. He was amazed, but the cow wasn't, and cowed his gay ass to the floor and ate his face. The cow was none other than Phil's enemy, Cowface III. One day there was a guy called Mike. He liked mushrooms, and dogs, and chinese people. He was crazy, or was he? you tell me u ugly horse-eating Nazi. Mike loved nothing more than a good muffin from the fairy CAKE shop. He bought a huge muffin, it was at least 66 foot tall. SHUT UP MUFFINS CAN BE THAT BIG. Anyway, The muffin was magical, as it had some ugly fuckers blood on it. He ate the whole thing in one go. The pain, the pleasure, the juices, the muffin, the horse, aaaaah what was going on? no one knew, not even me. That's when he turned into a cow, next thing he knew, he had rammed down some gay guy riding a unibrowed man. "oh no!" i hear u claim. Well stop interrupting my story fucking dickwad. Ive had enough of this shit. The end of the story is Phil died. You happy? You wankers. See you in hell you scumbags. I love you like i loved our mother before i realised she was dead. U dick. Have a nice day :) Love DaVie xxx

Stories are good for you... read some at your local clinic or if you cant be arsed, read the one conveniently placed here --->

Which is the funniest story? The forgotten Artist An Annoying Buzz Cement King Brutish Bill Ask Jeeves <NEW> Love for a Cat

Think You can write a better story than the one above? oooh big man eh? well i bet you 10 shillings you can't. Try and write a good one.